


it's like i'm powerful (with a little bit of tender)

by explicitly_iridescent



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Friends With Benefits, Highschool AU, Some pining, cheerleading, kinda sinful i guess, lots of other idols are namedropped, mild/brief allusion to an ED but nothing intense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 54,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24073810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explicitly_iridescent/pseuds/explicitly_iridescent
Summary: "I've seen better," Sooyoung says, her voice cold, her gaze sharp.Jiwoo can't find it in herself to give up. Instead, she grits her teeth and tries to prove Sooyoung wrong.In which, Jiwoo joins the cheersquad, and Ha Sooyoung is the captain. Heejin thinks it’s cliche that the two of them make out behind the bleachers. Or, cheerleading conspiracies, occasionally emotionally constipated characters, and finding redemption in the strangest ways.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin, Jo Haseul/Viian Wong | ViVi, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 905
Kudos: 1189





	1. one

Jiwoo is nervous. She picks at her skirt and bites her lip. Next to her, Jungeun is completely at ease, which is _understandable_ , because she’s not the one about to try out for BBC High’s extremely intense and exclusive cheersquad.

“Relax,” Jungeun says under her breath. “You’re going to make your lip bleed.”

Jiwoo lets her lower lip go. She stares at the gym door. Once she enters, she’ll be subjected to the most intense tryouts of her life, and then she’ll find out if she really is good enough. _She really wants to be good enough_.

“What if—“ she starts, but Jungeun doesn’t even let her finish her sentence. She holds a hand up.

“—Listen, Jiwoo. You were one of the best cheerleaders in our old middle school, okay? Don’t even stress.”

“Our old middle school was in the middle of nowhere, Jungie. We’re in _Seoul_ now.”

“That’s fair, but I don’t care,” Jungeun says, shrugging. “I think you’re great, and our old coach was from Seoul and liked you and said you were good. Grow some tits and get in there.”

“I wish you were joining too,” Jiwoo says.

Jungeun shrugs again, but there’s something a little sad in her expression. She was a good cheerleader too, had beenw ith Jiwoo on the team together in middle school, was arguably better than Jiwoo even, but—Jungeun points out her sprained ankle.

“Next time. Now go in there and do it for the both of us.” Jungeun’s tone is final, and Jiwoo knows there’s no use arguing with her. Not when, if Jungeun had the chance Jiwoo did, she’d be trying out too.

“Okay,” she says, her voice shakey.

“You can do this. Just do your best, Jiwooming.”

Jiwoo sighs, takes a deep breath, and decides that Jungeun’s right. She plasters a smile on her face, and enters the gym.

//

Five people were going to be overseeing the tryouts, as far as Jiwoo knew. The coach, the captain, the vice-captain, and then two of the best cheerleaders within the squad.

The cheersquad’s captain is none other than the junior Ha Sooyoung, who is _the youngest captain the team has ever had,_ because she became the captain in her sophomore year. She’s a household name for all aspiring cheerleaders, affectionately called _Yves_ by numerous high school and university newspapers. The nickname comes from a joke that was made when Sooyoung was still in middle school but already training with the high school squad, being called _Yves_ because they joked that she basically invented cheering with how good and natural everything was when it came to her and cheering.

Yves the first woman, they’d dubbed her.

Her right hand woman was arguably almost as good as her: Jeon Heejin, a sophomore and the vice-captain of the team. Heejin would have definitely been a captain had she been in any other squad, and there was no doubt that once Sooyoung graduated next-next year, that Heejin would be the captain.

And then there were Jinsol and Hyunjin. Jiwoo didn’t know about them as much, but they were _good_. She’d seen the videos, and if Heejin and Sooyoung weren’t around, they would have easily been the captain and vice-captain.

Jiwoo tells herself it’s no big deal, it’s going to be okay, if she doesn’t get in this year, then she’ll train harder and join the next year. She can do theatre this year, if this doesn’t work out. She _can_.

//

Jiwoo enters, and sees a line of ten girls. She quietly joins the line.

In front of her are the coach, Sooyoung, Heejin, Hyunjin, and Jinsol. They sit on their chairs, and Jiwoo tries to avoid their eyes, especially Sooyoung’s.

She’s known Sooyoung since she was in middle school—has watched her videos, had studied her technique, has _idolized_ her for so long—and now, seeing her for the first time in person, gives Jiwoo whiplash. There’s something regal about the older girl, as she sits there with a sharp expression.

Sooyoung claps her hand, and all eleven girls stand in attention, as if they weren’t already doing that. She whispers something to Heejin, and Heejin nods and calls out, “Role call!”

She starts calling them out one by one.

“Choi Yerim!”

“Present.”

“Son Hyejoo!”

“Present.”

“Park Chaewon!”

“Present.”

Heejin keeps going on. “Shin Ryujin, Shin Yuna, Lee Chaeryeong, Hwang Yeji, Chou Tzuyu,” and two other girls and finally, “Kim Jiwoo!”

“Present!” Jiwoo squeaks out.

“I’m Jeon Heejin,” she introduces herself. “I’m your vice-captain. This is Ha Sooyoung, she’s the captain. Jinsol and Hyunjin are honorary members, and this is our coach—Coach Hyoyeon.”

“As you all know,” Sooyoung starts talking. Her voice is calm and collected. “The tryouts for BBC High’s cheer squad is extremely difficult to pass. I expect all of you to have trained and prepared for this. The seniors that have graduated this year has really opened the roster for a lot of new talent, but you’ll be replacing the likes of Kang Seulgi, Hirai Momo, Im Nayeon, Myoui Mina, Chungha, Bae Joohyun, and JIeqiong. Those are seven slots all in all. More than that, it’s no secret that two of members this year: senior Haseul and Eunbi are unable to participate in competitions this year due to injuries. That’s 9 slots all in all that 11 of you will be going after, but only 7 of those slots will be permanent. Once Haseul and Eunbi are ready, you’re out of the team. That’s the harsh reality.” Sooyoung crosses her arms. “You will not be told who the two temporary members are. I don’t want any of you growing complacent.”

Hyoyeon speaks up. “There are a series of tests you will be undergoing. We need to see how your techniques are, and to see how you perform as bases, flyers, spotters, etc. You will only get _one chance_ per test.”

Jiwoo hears the girl next to her, Yerim _was it?_ , gasp, and she wants nothing more than to say _same lmao end me_ , but she holds it in.

“Goodluck,” Heejin pipes up with a smile that Jiwoo can’t tell is genuine or not. Next to her, Sooyoung’s expression remains stone cold and focused.


	2. two

Jiwoo wants someone to legitimately shoot her. She gasps as she runs the 10th lap around the gym. She’s not particularly out of shape, she always excercised at least twice a week, and had done cheer for most of her life, and yet she wants someone to kill her, because _holy shit_ , running ten laps around the gym after doing 30 lunges and 30 jump squats is the most impossible thing she’s ever encountered.

Jiwoo stares ahead and tries to catch her breath and ignore the stitches forming on her side as she forces herself to keep running. Ryujin, Hyejoo, Tzuyu, Yeji, and Yuna are effortlessely in the lead, running without really breaking a sweet, while Chaeryeong and Yerim take up the middle space, looking a little tired but not by much. Behind them is Jiwoo, who’s just trying not to be last, and beside Jiwoo is that girl named Chaewon, who looks like she wants this to end as much as Jiwoo does. The two girls Jiwoo can’t remember the name of run behind them, lagging quite a bit and breathing heavily.

When Coach Hyoyeon blows her whistle signalling for them to stop when they’re on their 15th lap, Jiwoo, Chaewon, Yerim, Chaeryeong, and the two other girls collapse on the ground. Jiwoo can’t help it—her legs literally feel like jelly.

She legitimately does not understand how Ryujin, Hyejoo, Tzuyu, Yeji, and Yuna look _slightly_ tired, and not completely wiped out, which is how Jiwoo feels.

Hyoyeon claps her hands. Jiwoo curses under her breath, and one of the girls, Yerim, offers her a hand.

“Thanks,” Jiwoo manages to wheeze out.

“No…problem…” Yerim huffs out, just as exhausted.

The girls all line up.

“Let’s see how your flips and splits are,” Hyoyeon says.

Sooyoung, Heejin, Hyunjin, and Jinsol have been quiet for most of the part, all simply eyeing them and then writing down on their sheets.

Jiwoo accidentally locks eyes with Sooyoung, and Jiwoo immediately shifts her gaze.

//

Jiwoo does well on the splits. She’d always been flexible. She does _okay_ at the flips. She isn’t particularly that good at it, but she wasn’t the worst in the group.

Soon, they’re doing lifts — interchanging the bases, flyers, and spotters.

Some of the routines they’re asked to do are some stuff Jiwoo has seen before, has tried before, so she thinks she does fairly well. Is she exhausted out of her fucking mind? _Yes, fuck_. Is she going to feel the ache in her bones for a whole week? _Yes._ Does she still want this? _Unfortunately, yes._

If it was any consolation, Jiwoo forms some sort of camaraderie with Yuna and Yerim. So, _that’s_ something, at least.

//

The whole tryouts take about five hours, and by the time it ends, Jiwoo’s legs feel like gelatin. She does her best not to look _too_ dead, when they’re asked to line up.

“We’ve deliberated,” Sooyoung announces, which comes as a surprise to Jiwoo as she’s used to finding out the results a few days after, and maybe at the earliest, the next day, not _right after_ the tryouts, but this is BBC High’s team, and Jiwoo guesses they work differently. “We have the line up of the girls who’ve made it.”

Heejin lifts a piece of paper up and clears her throat. “Step forward once you’re called. If you’re not,” she gives them all a sorry look, but there’s something about it that seems half pitying and half mocking. “Well, you know what that means.”

“Heejin, please get on with it,” Sooyoung tells her. She looks half bored.

Heejin shrugs and eyes them all with the same half pity half mocking look. “Alright. Ryujin, Yeji, Tzuyu, Chaeryeong, Hyejoo,” she lists down, and those girls step forward. Jiwoo’s not particularly surprised, Ryujin, Yeji, and Hyejoo had basically ripped the tryouts apart, while Tzuyu and Chaeryeong had done _really_ well. “Yuna, Yerim, Jiwoo, and Chaewon.”

Jiwoo’s head feels light. She blinks once, twice, and then she finds herself smiling for the first time during the whole tryout process.

She turns and meets Yerim’s gaze, and they share a big smile with each other. They all step forward, and none of them make a sound, afraid of angering anyone, while the two girls who aren’t called stay behind.

“The ones who didn’t make it, please step out of the gym,” Hyunjin speaks up for the first time.

The two girls leave.

“Congrats, you all made it,” Hyunjin continues. She glances at the captain and vice-captain, and along with JInsol, they all share a private look that Jiwoo can’t decipher. “You will be added to the necessary groupchats, so check your Facebook message requests, and all the information you need will be there.”

And then, they’re dismissed.

//

Jungeun is waiting for her outside, chatting with two girls Jiwoo doesn’t recognize. Jungeun sees her and lights up.

“How was it? We saw two girls come out of there crying, so…”

Jiwoo smiles at her. “I made it!”

Jungeun smiles back and hugs her. “Told you, bitch.”

“Congrats,” one of the girl says. She’s pretty—small pale face, long straight black hair.

“Oh, thanks,” Jiwoo beams at her.

“This is Jisu,” Jungeun introduces the other girl. “She’s waiting for her girlfriend Yeji.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jiwoo tells her. “I’m Jiwoo.”

“I’m Yeojin,” the other girl pipes up. “I’m waiting for my best friend Yerim. Did she make it?”

Jiwoo’s about to answer when _speak of the devil_ Yerim bursts out of nowhere and hugs Yeojin. “Guess what, guess what, guess what,” she chants.

“Fuck yeah! You made it, didn’t you?” Yeojin yells.

Jiwoo, Jisu, and Jungeun smile at them, and soon, Yeji herself appears. She’s walking wtih Ryujin, Yuna, and Chaeryeong, and when she comes up to Jisu and kisses her on the cheek, Jisu excuses herself, and their whole group leaves, leaving Yerim, Yeojin, Jungeun, and Jiwoo.

“She’s become my suffering soulmate,” Yerim announces.

Jiwoo laughs. “We’ve seen things…”

Jungeun rolls her eyes and Yeojin elbows Yerim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt generous and decided to update right away esp since ur comments r so fucking cute dis might be a bit slow burny btw but when it gets intense,,,,, sis it gets intense js


	3. three

Jiwoo’s body feels like _hellfire save matches fuck a duck and see what hatches_. That’s it. That’s how it feels. She barely manages to get out of bed the next morning, and she groans when she remembers that the night before, she’d been added to the groupchat, and informed that there would be a meet today after classes.

She doesn’t know for what, and she’s hoping not for practice. The season hasn’t even started, but knowing BBC High…

She manages to drag herself through the motions: she winces in the shower, groans when she has to button something for her shirt in the back, and bites her lip to stop herself from crying when she reaches for the cereal box on the top drawer.

When Jiwoo reaches the bus station and gets on the bus with Jungeun, she clocks out, and wakes up to Jungeun shaking her, and telling her to wipe her drool once they’re at school.

“You look like shit,” Jungeun tells her with a lopsided smile.

“Trust me,” Jiwoo mutters back. “I know.”

//

Jiwoo’s day is mostly uneventful. She learns that Yerim and Yeojin are freshmen too, and though they don’t share any classes together, they do talk in between classes, and even have lunch together, which is nice. Yerim looks just as tired her, and is just as anxious about the possibility of having practice later.

“If we’re lucky, it’s just some sort of welcome to hell meeting,” Yerim says, picking at her salad.

Jiwoo nods with a sour expression. “I don’t want them to think they made a mistake picking me, because honestly, I don’t think I can perform anything today.”

Yerim groans. “We chose this path.”

“We chose this path,” Jiwoo repeats with a pout.

//

Classes draw to an end, and Jiwoo trudges toward the gym with Yerim. Jungeun had gone off to hang with her other friends. As Jiwoo and Yerim head toward the gym, they run into Yeji’s group, now with Tzuyu in tow, as well as Hyejoo and Chaewon who are walking together, and they all just go there together.

“I hope we don’t run anymore laps,” Chaeryeong says.

“Your legs are long, it shouldn’t be a problem,” Ryujin replies.

“Stop looking at my legs,” Chaeryeong shoots back.

Ryujin shakes her eyebrows at her. “Can you blame me?”

“Get a room, please,” Yuna mutters under her breath. Tzuyu nods in stoic agreemenet.

//

The BBC cheersquad is already assembled there. Much to Jiwoo’s relief, none of them are wearing the uniform or super sporty clothes, which maybe means they won’t be doing anything physical.

The team consists of Sooyoung, Heejin, Hyunjin, Jinsol, another Yerim called Yeri, and another Sooyoung called Joy. Haseul and Eunbi are unsurprisingly not there, as far as Jiwoo knows, they were really sitting out the season.

The girls are all seated, cross legged on the mats, and Jiwoo and the new girls simply stand awkwardly in front of them, not sure if they’re welcome to sit down on the mats as well.

The coach isn’t there, Jiwoo notices.

“Hello, everyone!” Heejin excitedly says, waving. Next to her, Joy waves as well with a glint in her eye, while everyone else simply remain expressionless—one of them being Sooyoung, who addresses them next.

“Sit down, girls,” she says. It’s funny how quickly all of them scramble to sit on the mats. “I’m sure you’re all curious about what this meet is about,” Sooyoung continues. “It’s tradition for the cheersquad to welcome the new members with a sleepover, and that’s what we’ll be having this Friday. This meeting is for us to discuss what we’ll be doing during the sleepover.”

_A sleepover_. In two days. Okay, it’s strange, but, well—was Jiwoo really going to dwell on that when she’s been blessed by the Cheer gods to not have to do anything physical today?

“Before we start,” Heejin says after Sooyoung. “Why don’t we do a round of introductions. Name, and maybe like, why do you cheer, and like a fun fact about you.”

Sooyoung shrugs, and looks like she can’t be bothered with something like this, but she humors her vice-captain.

Heejin faces her. “Starting with us maybe and then we can taper off to the new girls.”

Sooyoung sighs, but nods. “I’ll start,” she says. Everyone falls silent and eye her. She meets their gazes with her sharp eyes, and indecipherable expression. She seems so distant, at least Jiwoo thinks she does.

“I’m Ha Sooyoung. I started cheering after I discovered it in middle school. I used to do a lot of hiphop and breakdancing, but I quit when I got into cheer. Fun fact is…” She trails off, thinking. “Mm, I usually try to eat healthy but I can’t ever turn down a soda.”

Jinsol nods solemnly. “It’s true, unfortunately. She won’t touch a cheeseburger for months, but you offer her Coke everyday, and trust me…”

Heejin and the older members laugh, while Sooyoung shrugs, and elegantly sits back down.

They continue.

“I’m Jeon Heejin. I started cheering, because Sooyoung is my best friend, and she started doing it. I ended up being really good. I don’t know,” she looks at her nails with faux overconfidence. “Might replace her or something.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes while the others chuckle.

“Fun fact about me is that Hyunjin calls me puppy.”

“Puppy,” Hyunjin says to prove Heejin’s point, and Heejin pretends to perk up.

“Stop flirting, please,” Jinsol calls out.

Heejin just shrugs, and Hyunjin goes next. “I’m Kim Hyunjin,” she says, unblinking and expressionless. “I started cheering for reasons I can’t reveal…” She blinks. “I think I’d make a good soldier.” Then, she sits.

_Huh_ , Jiwoo shares a look with Yerim, who looks as confused as she does amused.

“I’m Jung Jinsol,” the blonde girl finally introduces herself. “I started cheering because I wanted an extra curricular, then it became my life, _lmao_ , and uh, I guess a fun fact is that I’ve been bleaching my hair since middle school.”

“Yeah, and her scalp’s _shit_ ,” Yeri says, and Joy laughs with her, as Jinsol shoots them a glare.

The introductions keep going, and soon it’s Jiwoo’s turn. She’s the first of the new girls to be called to introduce herself, and she thought she’d be more nervous, but after seeing how the other members interact with each other, she felt a bit more comfortable.

“Uh, hi. My name’s Jiwoo,” she says. “Some of my friends call me Chuu…”

“Cute!” Heejin says, eyeing her with the same look Jiwoo can’t tell is pitying or mocking.

“I started cheering, because someone said I had long limbs and a loud voice,” she bluntly says, leading most of the girls to laugh. As she talks, she accidentally locks eyes with Sooyoung, who tilts her head and keeps her gaze. Jiwoo gulps and wants to look away, but she can’t. She tries to continue. “Uh, um…Fun fact is that I can do this thing called the Hammer dance, I guess.”

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow. “The…hammer dance?” She repeats.

“Show us,” Hyunjin says, but it sounds more like a demand.

Everyone eyes Jiwoo with expectant looks.

_My body feels like shit. I could’ve said any other fun fact. Why did I say that one_ , she thinks ot herself. She wants to say no, but when she sees Sooyoung’s curious gaze, she internally groans, and finds herself saying, “sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> m just rlly into this story and i wanna feed my hungry children oKAY 
> 
> also i just update rlly fast for those of u who are curious hihi 
> 
> please do feed me with kudos n comments i love reading thru them and if im feeling it i might update again today damn,,, sis i'm working overtime here for LOONA


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiwoo needs a ride home. Sooyoung has a car. Familial relations are exposed.

Long story short—Jiwoo manages to do the hammer dance, everyone laughs, even the expressionless Hyunjin, and when she looks at Sooyoung, the captain manages a small smile. It’s not much, but Jiwoo decides it’s _something_.

When they’re done introducing themselves, they talk logistics. “We held it in Sooyoung’s house last year, and that’s where we’re holding it this year. We’ve already listed down some stuff we did last year, stuff like watching a movie, truth or dare, jenga—“

Jinsol groans. “—can we not do Jenga this year? It’s high risk low reward.”

Yeri nods. “ _Please_. Someone always ends up messing up in the start and we have to spend so long fixing it.”

“Let’s do mafia instead,” Joy adds.

“But Hyunjin always wins mafia,” Heejin points out.

“I can be the game master,” Hyunjin suggests.

“How about…” Jinsol trails off. “Spin the bottle.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

Sooyoung raises a hand. “No.”

Jinsol pouts. “Aw, man, but we did it last year.”

Joy hums. “Spin the bottle is a classic, like truth or dare. They always have to go hand in hand.”

“i said no,” Sooyoung calmly repeats.

Heejin claps her hands. “Okay, how about you fresh meats? Any suggestions?”

“Seven minutes in Heaven?” Ryujin shamelessely says, winking at Chaeryeong who scrunches her face and rolls her eyes.

Yeji elbows Ryujin when Sooyoung turns to stare her down.

“No.”

Jinsol pouts again. “Come on, it’s harmless fun. Let’s all be a little nasty,”

Sooyoung ignores her, and Yeri and Joy stifle a laugh.

“So, now we just have movies and truth or dare,” Heejin notes. “Since we removed jenga.”

“Monopoly?” Yerim suggests.

“Do you want to tear this team _apart_?” Jinsol dramatically replies.

“I think monopoly is less harmless than UNO. I vote monopoloy,” Hyunjin says.

They all agree, and Heejin takes that down. “So, movie, truth or dare, monopoly, and maybe…” She meets Sooyoung’s eyes.

“…don’t even say charades, Heejin,” Sooyoung says.

Heejin pouts. “Fine. No charades.”

“How about we do the paranoia,” Yeri suggests.

“ _Yes,”_ Joy says. “Let us have this at _least,_ if we’re not gonna seven minutes or spin the bottle.”

“What’s paranoia?” Yuna asks.

“Basically,” Yeri starts to explain. “You ask the person next to you a question, and the question needs to be applicable to the whole group. That person picks whoever is the answer to your question. After that, we all flip a coin. If it it’s heads, you reveal what the question you asked that person was, if it’s tails, the question remains a secret forever. So, like, example, Joy’s next to me, and I go, ‘who’s the prettiest blah blah’, so then she goes to Sooyoung or something. We all flip a coin, if it’s heads, she has to expose what she chose Sooyoung for.”

“I like that,” Ryujin speaks up.

They all vote it in.

After a while, the final line-up is decided to be: a movie, a game of monopoly, truth or dare, paranoia, and then one more movie to close the night.

Sooyoung dismisses them when it’s done, and tells them to make sure they go on Friday. They, apparently, can’t miss it.

Jiwoo is relieved once they all leave the gym.

//

Jiwoo misses the bus, and Jungeun already went home—go figure. Yerim goes home with Yeojin, and she’d already left earlier. _Of course,_ Jiwoo thinks, _just my fucking luck_. She was hoping to run into a fellow cheersquad mate, but she’d yet to run into any of them, and when she did run into Yeji, she just gave Jiwoo an apologetic smile as the car she was in was a five seater, and they were already seven inside, _plus_ her house was out of the way.

_jungeun i dont wanna walk home cause my legs feel like shit can u come and get me_

**_i honestly would have, but im at a classmate’s house for a project :( bb_ **

_ughhhh fml_

“Are you waiting for someone?”

Jiwoo almost has a heart attack as she spins around and comes face to face with one of the girls on the team: the really quiet one who didn’t break a sweat during tryouts. Son Hyejoo.

“Uh,” Jiwoo says at first. “No, I’m just trying to find a ride home.”

“Oh. Bus left you?”

“Yeah.”

Hyejoo shrugs. “Sucks.”

Jiwoo can only agree.

“You can ride with me and my older sister,” Hyejoo offers after a while. “She drives.”

“Oh…if it’s not too much trouble.”

“It’s not.”

Jiwoo beams at her. “Then, thank you.”

Hyejoo shrugs once more. “It’s no problem. Follow me. Her car is here.”

Hyejoo leads her to a sleek looking car, that looks _extremely expensive_ , and was pure silver. Jiwoo’s not all that familiar at all with car brands, so she doesn’t know what it is, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out it’s some rich person’s fucking car.

“Ugh, where is she?” Hyejoo mutters. She pulls out her phone and motions for Jiwoo to wait. “Unnie, where are you? What? Stop being so OCD, and come here already. Okay, I’m sorry for using it as an insult. Ugh, yes I know you don’t have OCD. Okay, I’ll be more mindful about other people. Okay. Now, can you hurry up. Yes, I hate you too. Bye.” She ends the call, and Jiwoo just stares at her.

“You seem…close,” she mutters, half joking.

“We’re step sisters,” Hyejoo replies. “It’s complicated.”

They wait for a bit until, “There you are, you took so long _bitch_ ,” Hyejoo says.

Jiwoo turns around and— _oh, that’s—_

That’s Ha Sooyoung.

Sooyoung stares at her with an expression Jiwoo cannot read for the life of her, and then she shifts her gaze to Hyejoo. There’s a question in her eyes that she doesn’t really need to voice out.

“She missed the bus. I offered for us to drive her back,” Hyejoo replies.

Sooyoung looks at Jiwoo again, and Jiwoo bites her lip, and tries not to _wither_ under the captain’s intense stare. “Okay,” Sooyoung says after awhile. “We can do that.”

And that was that. They all got in, Hyejoo in the passenger seat, and Jiwoo got to watch them argue over whose music to play for a bit.

Sooyoung addresses her as the car exits the parking lot. “Where do you live?” she asks.

Jiwoo gives her the address, and Sooyoung just hums in acknowledgement. No one in the car really talks, and that allows Jiwoo enough time to internalize the fact that _Ha Fucking Sooyoung was driving her home, The Yves knew where she lived_.

Not that it mattered, she thinks, stopping herself. It’s not like Sooyoung would do anything other than drop her off knowing that information. It’s not like Sooyoung would start stopping by just cause she knew where Jiwoo lived.

The drive is relatively silent. Hyejoo and Sooyoung only talk twice—once to semi-argue about the music playing, and the second time just goes like:

“My body fucking hurts,” Hyejoo mutters under breath.

“You did well with your lifts and flips yetserday,” Sooyoung replies.

At first, Jiwoo thinks she’s maybe talking to her, and she opens her mouth to reply, when Hyejoo says, “Thanks.”

“Your splits need work, though,” Sooyoung continues.

“I know,” Hyejoo nods.

“But good job.”

“Hm.”

It’s strange. There doesn’t seem to be any level of _real_ animosity between them, but the way they act is just so strange for Jiwoo. Jungeun had always been so different with her siblings.

When they reach Jiwoo’s house, Sooyoung stops the car and eyes Jiwoo through the rearview mirror. Her gaze feels just as sharp as it did during the tryouts yesterday, and Jiwoo feels like she’s shrinking into herself every time they lock eyes.

“Thank you so much,” Jiwoo manages to get out, as she gives them both a big smile, because she _is_ grateful.

Hyejoo turns her head to give her a small smile. It’s barely there, but it’s something. “No problem.”

Sooyoung just hums and nods, but her eyes never break eye contact.

Jiwoo finds herself gulping as she says, “I’ll be…uh, going now.”

“See you around,” Hyejoo replies.

As Jiwoo opens the car door to get out, Sooyoung finally says something to her that makes her stop in her tracks. “You should work on your flips.”

Jiwoo’s face turns red, and she sees Hyejoo roll her eyes. “You can tell her that during the next practice,” Hyejoo comments.

Sooyoung shrugs. “But you did well, too.”

Jiwoo finds herself doing some sort of semi-bow. “Thank you.”

“Hm,” is all that comes out of Sooyoung as Jiwoo closes the door, and they speed away.

Jiwoo enters her house, and tries not to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit have d cutest/nicest readers. all ur comments r so encouraging n sweet :> thank u for supporting this story so much !! there will start to be more interactions between them esp at the sleepover and definitely after :>


	5. five

They don’t receive any notifications the next day, and Jiwoo is as relieved as she can be. Tomorrow is already the sleepover, and she can’t help but be grateful for Friday, and the upcoming weekend so she can make her body recover.

“I feel like we need to lowkey dress up or something,” Yerim tells her as they stand by the lockers.

“Same,” Jiwoo replies. “I can just feel it. Like, if we don’t, we’ll be—not to be cliche, but I just don’t feel like it’ll fly with them. If we don’t.”

“That is cliche,” Yeojin says. “Are cheerleaders still judgemental?”

Yerim shrugs. “I don’t think so, I just think it’s more of…like, maybe an initiation type of thing. Like, I think they want to be impressed for the first few weeks by the smallest things.”

That’s true, but there’s this underlying viciousness Jiwoo can’t explain. She sees it in Heejin’s pity-mocking looks, and Sooyoung’s blunt sharp words, and even in the silent looks Hyunjin and Jinsol share. It’s not hostile, but there’s this strange tension—like the whole team is family, but there’s something beneath the surface ready to snap at any given moment.

“Guess that makes sense,” is all Yeojin says.

Jungeun, who they were waiting for, finally exits class and walks toward them. “Hey, lunch?” She asks them, and they all nod.

Jiwoo loops their arms together, as Yerim and Yeojin talk amongst themselves, stuck in their own world.

“How’d you get home yesterday, Jiwooming?” Jungeun asks her.

Jiwoo glances at Yerim and makes sure she doesn’t hear what she’s about to say. She lowers her voice. “You’ll never guess it.”

“And I won’t try, because my brain’s fried after that math test. Who?”

“Ha fucking Sooyoung.”

Jungeun raises an eyebrow at her. “You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Wow. Moving up in the world, I see.”

Jiwoo playfully smacks her. “It’s not that.”

Jungeun nods. “How was it?”

“I don’t know. It was kinda awkward. She’s half sisters with this other girl on the team, which _I didn’t even know_.”

“Isn’t that good? No nepotism or whatever.”

“Yeah, and she was the one who offered to drive me, not really Sooyoung. I don’t know she’s just so intense.”

Jungeun hums, thinking. “Maybe she has to be, or she’s just really like that.”

They enter the cafeteria and line up for food.

“Maybe,” Jiwoo says. Her eyes sweep the cafeteria, not really sure of what she’s looking for. She spots Yeji’s group—Yeji has an arm around Jisu, which is something Jiwoo’s starting to think is a permanent fixture, everytime she sees them, Yeji has an arm around her girl, and they’re with Ryujin, Chaeryeong, Yuna, and Tzuyu. Jiwoo sees Hyejoo, who’s with that Chaewon girl. Their heads are close and they’re talking about something.

And then, Jiwoo sees Heejin enter the cafeteria. Some people turn to stare along with Jiwoo. Heejin doesn’t mind, as she’s all easy laughter and light steps. She makes her way to one of the more _exclusive_ tables that already has Hyunjin, Jinsol, Yeri, and Joy there. She plops herself next to Hyunjin, who blinks at her, and offers her something.

They’re not _that_ scary, Jiwoo thinks, but she wants to take it back immediately, when she notices Sooyoung enter the cafeteria. Heejin calls her over, and she sees Sooyoung roll her eyes a bit, but it seems like a fond gesture.

People _definitely_ stare when Sooyoung passes by. She’s all cropped camisoles, designer bottoms, and expensive white shoes. Her shoulder length hair frames her face perfectly. Jiwoo’s mouth goes dry as she stares, and for some reason, as if pulled by some force, Sooyoung accidentally catches her gaze.

Jiwoo feels like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t be doing. She wants to shift her gaze, but she can’t.

Sooyoung tilts her head at her, and there on her lips is a small, almost unnoticeable smile.

Jiwoo finally shifts her gaze.

//

Before she knows it, it’s Friday, and Yerim and her are waiting in the parking lot for Yerim’s mom. Sooyoung had sent them address the previous day, and said that they all had to be at her house by 7pm, which was perfect, because Jiwoo had to help Jungeun with something for the photography club in school, and Yerim was supporting Yeojin for theatre. At 6:30, Yerim’s mom comes, and the two of them get in, carrying their bags.

Jiwoo would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous, but it helps her to know that all the other new girls were just plain nice. There didn’t seem to be anything catty about them. Yeji was all crescent moon eye-smiles, while Ryujin and Chaeryeong mostly played around. Yuna was hilarious, and even the quieter ones — Hyejoo, Tzuyu, and Chaewon just seemed really nice.

Jiwoo had thought it’d be more cutthroat, especially with the older members seemingly being a bit more competitive, but she’s grateful that the atmosphere around all of them was easygoing.

Jiwoo also feels like she’s found a really good friend in Yerim.

They enter some rich ass looking village, and Yerim says, “I always forget Hyejoo’s family’s really rich.”

“You and Hyejoo are friends?”

Yerim shrugs. “Well, we've been schoolmates since pre-school. I guess we’re familiar, you can say. She wasn’t Ha Sooyoung's step sister yet by then though. I think that happened last summer.” 

Hyejoo and Sooyoung _are_ rich. The house is huge—there’s a gate, a garden, a front yard and a backyard. Jiwoo thinks there’s probably a pool too. The house itself definitely has more than two floors, maybe three or four.

There’s a buzzer by the gate, and Yerim shoots the groupchat a text to let them know Jiwoo and her are there. Sooyoung sends a thumbs up back, and the gaze buzzes open.

//

It’s Hyejoo that opens the door for them. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey!” Jiwoo greets back, giving her a big smile. She _likes_ Hyejoo—she thinks the other girl’s really nice after the whole _driving her home_ thing.

“Hi Hyejoo,” Yerim says beaming.

Hyejoo doesn’t really smile back, but she lets them in. “Take off your shoes,” she says, and points to the side where there’s a huge shoe rack. Yerim and Jiwoo follow her orders, and then follow Hyejoo herself as she leads them to whereever the other girls are.

“We’re gonna have dinner first,” Hyejoo tells them.

Jiwoo feels her ears perk up and Yerim stifles a laugh at her eager reaction.

Hyejoo leads them to an ornate dining room with a long mahogany table. Sooyoung sits at the very front, Heejin on her right, and beside Heejin is Hyunjin, and then Jinsol. On Sooyoung’s other side is Yeri, and then Joy. Chaewon is also already there, but Yeji’s group has yet to arrive it seems.

“Yeji let us know that they got a flat, and they might get here after dinner,” Heejin announces.

“Oh, they’re _so_ missing out,” Joy says. “Dinner here is always so good.”

Jiwoo and Yerim are kind of awkward at first. They bow their greetings, and then Hyejoo tells them to just sit down under her breath. They scramble to their seats.

Sooyoung sits with her back straight, but for all of her elegance and grace, her face is schooled into a half-bored expression, and her fingers are messing around with her utensils. “The chef’s taking longer than usual,” she comments.

“It’s fine,” Heejin assures her.

Jiwoo at first is sort of distracted by the large dining room, but after a while finds her eyes start wandering. The dining hall is filled with voices: Hyejoo, Yerim, and Chaewon seem to be catching up with each other, but Jiwoo doesn’t mind, while Hyunjin and Heejin seem to be playfighting about something. Jinsol is on her phone, while Yeri and Joy talk loudly about someone named Seungwan. And then, Jiwoo finds herself looking at Sooyoung, because, well—it’s _Ha Sooyoung_ , who wouldn’t stare? A few years ago, when Jiwoo was still watching cheer videos on youtube, she would have never believed that she’d be on the same team as Sooyoung, much less be in her _house_.

Sooyoung, as always, somehow always kind off knows if someone, or maybe if Jiwoo’s staring at her, because she looks up from her plate and meets Jiwoo’s stare.

This time, Jiwoo finds it in herself to smile at her. Jungeun did always say the best thing about her was her heart shaped gummy smile, so Jiwoo beams at the captain.

Sooyoung just raises an eyebrow, but then she gives her a small smile back.

Jiwoo’s expression turns sheepish.

Before anything else can happen, a nanny enters the room, and starts serving their food. Jiwoo feels Sooyoing’s heavy gaze still on her when Yerim starts to talk to her excitedly about the meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in one day again !! let me know what u guys think as the interactions with jiwoo and sooyoung slowly come more often :) also am just curious but besides jiwoo and sooyoung which characters do u like in the story as well?


	6. six

Joy was right, Jiwoo decides, as she digs into the food. She’d expected something fancy to match everything in the house, but it’s fairly _normal_ , nothing she isn’t familiar with, but it does all taste spetacular.

Jiwoo inhales everything in front of her.

“Wow, someone’s going to give Hyunjin a run for her money as our buffet girl,” Heejin jokes, and Jiwoo has the shame to at least look a little sheepish.

“She’s one serving of meat ahead of me,” Hyunjin simply says with same unblinking expression.

Jinsol chuckles. “Do your parents starve you or what?”

Jiwoo finds herself puffing her cheeks out. “I just have a big appetite.”

Everyone on the table giggles. “It’s good to have a big appetite, especially if you’re a cheerleader,” Sooyoung speaks up from the head of the table.

Jiwoo whips her head away from her plate, and sees Sooyoung giving her that same curious look. Jiwoo finds Sooyoung’s words a little hypocritical as she sees that Sooyoung’s plate is piled mostly with _just_ salmon and vegetables. She didn’t get any of the pork, beef, or rice on the table. Her portions were really small too.

Jiwoo doesn’t realize she’s been staring at Sooyoung’s plate for so long until Sooyoung speaks up again. “Do you want to eat what’s on my plate too?”

Heejin snorts beside her, and Jiwoo looks away blushing.

//

Yeji, Ryujin, Yuna, Chaeryeong, and Tzuyu arrive just in time for dessert. Hyejoo ushers them into the dining hall, and the other girls welcome them.

Once they’re all settled in, ice cream and a variety of pastries are served. Hyunjin makes a strange sound that Jiwoo doesn’t catch, as she reaches for the pastries and starts to stuff them in her mouth.

Jiwoo doesn’t hesitate, and when Yerim asks if her if she wants to share a slice of cake, Jiwoo answers with her mouth full of chocolate, _No get your own slice._ Yerim just laughs at her antics.

“This is Jisu’s favorite,” Yeji tells Ryujin, who snorts in return.

“Stop being such a lovesick puppy. I liked you better when you weren’t whipped,” Ryujin replies,

Yeji elbows her, and Chaeryeong rolls her eyes. “One day, when you end up liking someone, you’re gonna stop gagging at Yeji and Jisu.”

Ryujin sticks her tongue out at Chaeryeong.

Once Jiwoo finishes her ice cream, she decides she wants one last slice of the cheesecake, but it’s all over at the end of the table, to where Sooyoung is. As Jiwoo leans in to ask Hyejoo to ask someone to give her a slice, she notices that Sooyoung doesn’t eat dessert like everyone else. Instead, she picks at a green apple.

Jiwoo furrows her eyebrows.

//

When they’re all done eating, Sooyoung stands up, and Heejin and the others follow suit. It feels strangely cult-like, but Jiwoo supposes that’s high school and organizations.

“Right. Let’s all head upstairs and freshen up. We have several bathrooms upstairs, just go into whichever and use it to wash up. We’ll meet in the living room of the second floor in around…” Sooyoung glances at her rolex. “Maybe 30 minutes.”

“Dibs the bathroom near Hyejoo’s room!” Heejin yells as she sprints off. Hyunjin and Jinsol run after her arguing.

Hyejoo rolls her eyes and grumbles under her breath as she goes after them, Chaewon clinging to her arm, whispering something to her.

Jiwoo doesn’t really care which bathroom she uses, because she doubts a house like this would even have a bad one. Yerim and her link arms and decide to get whichever is left behind. Jiwoo doesn’t realize that Sooyoung’s leisurely walking behind her, until a hand rests on the small of her back.

“Excuse me,” Sooyoung says. The hairs on the back of Jiwoo’s neck stand, and she immediately jumps away at the contact.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, making way for Sooyoung.

Sooyoung gives her a scrutinizing look—up and down—and says, “It’s okay,” and then walks ahead.

Yerim drags Jiwoo forward as her muddled brian freezes her limbs.

//

Everyone convenes in the living room when the thirty minutes are up. Heejin and Hyunjin share one of the loveseats, Heejin curled up on the other girl’s lap. On the longer couch are Yeri, Joy, and Jinsol, who are talking excitedly about what movie to watch, while Jiwoo catches Ryujin and Chaeryeong playfighting about something, with Ryujin motioning to her lap, and Chaeryeong shaking her head. Yeji, Yuna, and Tzuyu are on the other long couch, just on their phones, and Hyejoo and Chaewon sit next to each on the floor, leaning against one of the couches.

Yerim doesn’t hesitate to skip over to Hyejoo and Chaewon and sit with them, dragging Jiwoo along with her.

Sooyoung is the last one to enter the living room. Her hair is a little damp, and she’s wearing a plain white tanktop that’s cropped enough to show her hard stomach. Jiwoo tries not to stare, because she realizes that _Sooyoung is not wearing a bra_ , and that she shouldn’t be bothered by it or be a creep because of it. Sooyoung’s black sweatpants sag a little on the waist, dangerously exposing some of her lower abdomen and the top strip of her underwear—which _okay_ , Jiwoo hadn’t expected s u p r e m e underwear, but _okay_.

Jiwoo feels like her pink sweater, and pink girl boxer shorts don’t make her look half as good as the simple tanktop and sweatpants make Sooyoung look. She doesn’t understand why she keeps looking, but she supposes it’s because she’s jealous.

Maybe Jiwoo’s always been envious of Sooyoung.

Jinsol wolf whistles at Sooyoung, while Heejin and Hyunjin laugh. Sooyoung ignores it as she walks over to the large flat screen TV and gets the remote. She’s still standing when she asks, “What film are we watching?”

“Horror!” Joy yells deviously, eyeing Yeri who rolls her eyes.

“Comedy!” Heejin answers.

“Fifty shades of—“ Jinsol starts, but Hyunjin interrupts her.

“Same thing as a comedy,” Hyunjin says.

Jiwoo’s fine with all of that, but she honestly really wanted to watch the new IT film, because she didn’t wanna watch it with Jungeun who’d probably scare her during the movie, and thought that now would be a good time to watch it, surrounded by a bunch of other girls.

“IT!” She yells.

“Aw, Finn Wolfhard is such a cutie. I want him to be my son,” Jinsol cooes.

“I just finished Stranger Things,” Yeji says out of nowhere. “I think IT would be cool, same vibe.”

Heejin shrugs. “As long as there are jokes.”

“So, we’re going with IT?” Sooyoung asks. Everyone nods, and Jiwoo beams at her. The captain raises an eyebrow at her. “I didn’t expect that,” she mutters under her breath. She turns the TV on, and goes on Netflix to play the film, and Hyejoo stands up to turn off the lights.

The movie starts playing and Sooyoung seats herself on one of the loveseats left just for her by the whole team. Jiwoo tries her best not to keep glancing over, and focus on the film instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are finally moving forward slowly slowly slowly YALL ARE IN FOR A TREAT SOON
> 
> thanks as always for reading and dropping ur thoughts down in the comments. its rlly interesting to see what u guys think :> also, just a question, but who do u think would make the first move between sooyoung n jiwoo


	7. seven

They don’t end up finishing the film. It’s a good film: equal parts scary and funny, and interesting, but it’s like _two hours long_ , and everyone started to get antsy after 45 minutes, so they stopped watching and decided to play Paranoia. They all get off their seats, and sit on the floor instead.

“Okay, who should go first?” Jinsol asks, a mischevious glint in her eyes.

“We should go with the fresh meat,” Yeri replies, flashing the new girls an angelic smile that didn’t really seem that innocent.

“ _Or_ ,” Joy says. “We start with us and show them how it’s done.”

Heejin grins. “I’ll start,” she says, and everyone quiets down, until Sooyoung realizes what that means, because she’s right next to Heejin.

Sooyoung flashes her a disapproving look. “Don’t—“

Heejin pats her on the head affectionately. “—sorry, it’s gonna be a spicy question.” Sooyoung just rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as Heejin leans over and whispers the question to her.

Sooyoung looks at her for a long time, and Heejin raises an eyebrow, and then the captain finally shrugs, and points at Jiwoo. “Her,” she simply says.

A collection of _ooohs_ start to go around, and Jiwoo’s face burns almost as much as her heart does with curiosity. Yerim elbows her and wiggles her eyebrows. Jiwoo looks down, afraid that if she looked up, her soft brown eyes would clash with Sooyoung’s sharp gaze.

“Next one—“ Sooyoung starts to say, hoping to shift the attention elsewhere it seemed, but Heejin isn’t having any of it.

Heejin takes out a coin. “We have to flip remember.”

“This game has always been the dumbest. I said it last year, and I’ll say it again,” Sooyoung replies.

Heejin just sticks her tongue out as she flips the coin. Jiwoo doesn’t know if she wants it to be heads and find out what Sooyoung chose her for, and when the coin lands on tails, she realizes she _had_ wanted to know. She huffs a breath out in disappointment.

“You live another day to keep your secrets,” JInsol solemnly tells the captain.

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “Next. Jinsol.” She leans in to whisper her question to the blonde girl, and Jinsol cackles.

“Obviously, it’s her,” Jinsol says, pointing at Yeri, who’s right next to her.

Sooyoung flips the coin, and it lands on tails, much to everyone’s continued disappointment.

The game goes on with Jinsol asking Yeri something, and Yeri pointing at Joy. When the coin flip happens, it turns up heads, and with a small blush Yeri says, “Jinsol asked me who I think the sexiest person on the team is.”

Joy beams, and starts to relentlessly tease her.

At some point it gets to Chaewon who Hyejoo asks something, and points at Yeji and Ryujin. Hyejoo flips a coin, and it comes up heads.

Jiwoo hasn’t really heard Chaewon talk, and when she opens her mouth to talk, her voice is gentle and soft. “Hyejoo asked me who I think could be the captain and vice-captain for our batch.”

“Aw,” Yeji says. “Thank you.”

Ryujin smiles and says, “I knew I liked you for a reason,” which earns her another elbow to the stomach from Chaeryeong.

Soon, it’s Jiwoo’s turn. Yerim leans into her and asks, “Who scares you the most?”

Jiwoo’s thankful it isn’t anything pretty scandalous, and the answer comes to her quickly as she locks eyes with Sooyoung. “Uh, Sooyoung,” she answers.

“ _Oooooh_ ,” Heejin reacts.

Yerim flips the coin, and Jiwoo prays that it doesn’t land on—

It swivels and tilts to the tails side, and for once, Jiwoo believes that God could exist—

and then it turns last minute, and lands on heads.

_Fuck me_ , Jiwoo thinks. “Uh, Yerim asked me who scared me the most.”

“Sooyoung? Scary?” Jinsol snorts.

“Shh,” Yeri replies. “It’s her personality trait, remember?”

The others laugh amongst themselves, with Jiwoo biting her lip and looking at Sooyoung. The captain doesn’t say anything, but she does look away from Jiwoo.

Jiwoo feels a little shameful.

//

They play Monopoly in teams, and Hyunjin’s team, which consisted of Yeri, Joy, and Tzuyu manages to win.

It doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Sooyoung doesn’t look at Jiwoo at all the whole time, even if they’re on the same team.

//

After Monopoly, they’re supposed to watch another movie, but it’s still 10pm, and no one’s sleepy enough to want to get comfy and watch one, so Jinsol gets this evil glint in her eyes as she says, “Spin the bottle sounds pretty good right now, doesn’t it?”

Yeri and Joy agree with her, while Ryujin nods as she side-eyes Chaeryeong, who glances at Ryujin and makes a faux barfing motion.

“I already _said_ no to that,” Sooyoung says.

Heejin pouts. “Aw, come on. It’s just harmless fun.” She makes puppy dog eyes at Sooyoung. “ _Please_.”

Hyunjin blinks at Sooyoung. Sooyoung stares at Heejin, and then at Hyunjin, and then at Jinsol who’s doing aegyo in the corner, and rolls her eyes. “ _Fine_ , but it’s dumb.”

Jinsol kisses her on the cheek. “Yes, but you still said yes.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes, and pushes Jinsol away. “Go get a bottle in the kitchen before I change my mind.”

Jinsol scrambles faster than Jiwoo thinks could ever be possible, and soon she’s storming up the stairs holding an empty vodka bottle.

She goes to sit next to Heejin and Sooyoung, and claps her hands. “Alright girls, now the _real fun_ starts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a second treat for today !! also, i really think y'all gonna love the next chapter lets just say,,, it will be REALLY GAY lmao 
> 
> also once we establish more of chuuves, the real plot of the story will start coming into play <3 tell me what u guys think so far and what ure excited for!!! <3 hope this makes yall smile


	8. eight

Everyone sits in a circle, except for Yeji and Tzuyu, who sit on the couch because they had girlfriends. Yeji insists that she could never do that to Jisu, and Tzuyu says that Chaeyoung would have her head if she found out she ever kissed anyone else.

“So,” Heejin says. “Who wants to go first?”

“Just go first,” Hyunjin replies. “It doesn’t matter. Everyone’s gonna end up kissing everyone anyway.”

“Fair point.” Heejin doesn’t even hesitate, she just spins it.

It lands on Yuna, whose eyes widen. Heejin crawls up to her with a bright expression, and the freshman looks half excited, and half nervous.

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” Jiwoo hears Yuna tell Heejin.

Heejin smiles at her. “You don’t have to kiss me, it’s okay.”

“No, I’m fine with it. It’s just, uh, I probably won’t be good at it.”

“Don’t worry.” The vice-captain presses her hands against Yuna’s cheeks. “I’ll lead.”

“Make sure it’s at _least_ 1 minute long!” Joy yells at them.

Hyunjin stares at Joy. “That’s kinda long.” She glances at Heejin with an unreadable expression. “30 seconds is okay.”

“Fine, 30 seconds whatever,” Joy concedes.

“You good?” Heejin asks Yuna, who just nods her head.

And then they’re kissing. Jiwoo has never seen two girls kiss in real life, or anywhere in general. All the rom-coms she watched were between guys and girls, and all the couples she knew in real life composed of a boy and a girl. To say that she was shocked was an understatement.

Heejin takes control, leading Yuna, and the kiss wasn’t as intense as Jiwoo thought it’d be, but she thinks that probably has to do with Yuna being inexperienced.

They’re done in 30 seconds, and when Heejin pulls back with a giggle, Yuna’s face reddens.

After that, it’s Hyunjin’s turn, and she lands on Yerim. Yerim squeaks, nervous, but she doesn’t complain. This kiss is a bit more intense, as Hyunjin is seemingly less gentle than Heejin. It lasts exactly 30 seconds, and when Hyunjin pulls back, Yerim looks a little dazed.

“Was that your first time kissing a girl?” Jiwoo asks Yerim once she’s calmed down.

Yerim blushes. “Um, no.”

Jiwoo’s eyes widen in surprise. She’s about to ask who, but she doesn’t get to, because suddenly her name’s being called.

She looks up, and it’s Jinsol who lands on her.

“Aw, I’m glad it’s you. You’re such a cutie,” Jinsol comments.

Jiwoo blushes. “Um.” She’s never kissed a girl before, nor does she have much experience in kissing—the only person she’s ever kissed was this guy named Moonbin that ended up moving away when she was 14.

Jinsol crawls up to her confidently. She winks at her. “You good?”

Jiwoo swallows. Her mouth feels dry. “Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Jinsol kisses her. It’s soft, Jiwoo learns, and Jinsol tastes sweet, but she can’t pinpoint _sweet like what_ exactly. Jinsol takes the lead, and keeps it brief and chaste, probably realizing that Jiwoo is fumbling and inexperienced. After 30 seconds, Jinsol pulls back.

“Cute,” she cooes one last time at Jiwoo, before crawling back.

Jiwoo sits there, stunned for a second, and when she comes to, Ryujin and Chaeryeong are already kissing because of the game. Her face is still red, and when she looks around, she sees everyone cheering on Ryujin and Chaeryeong’s kiss, which seems way _too_ intense for a first time kiss between them because there's something strangely familiar about their actions, so everyone's sort of cheering except for Sooyoung, who doesn’t look interested at all, and is now and then periodically checking her phone.

Jiwoo kind off hopes Sooyoung would look at her, but Sooyoung never does, and then it’s Sooyoung’s turn.

Sooyoung sighs heavily, and then spins the bottle. It lands on Joy, who perks up.

She seductively crawls over to Sooyoung, and says something like, “I always wanted to make out with myself,” which earns her a playful slap from the captain.

“It’s already weird cause we have the same name, don’t make this weirder,” Sooyoung tells her.

Joy just shrugs, bites her lip for a bit, and then straddles the captain, and kisses her. This kiss is a _real kiss_. Joy moves against Sooyoung, who moves her hands up to rest on Joy’s hips. Jiwoo’s pretty sure she sees Joy’s tongue in there.

They pull away after a minute, which makes Heejin wolf whistle.

Sooyoung wipes her mouth, as Joy gets off her and saunters over to Yeri, who’s no longer smiling.

There are a few other kisses: Hyejoo gets Hyunjin, and they give the chasest of kisses, while mild-mannered Chaewon gets Yuna, and Yeri gets Ryujin, and the two of them share a _really_ steamy kiss that has Jinsol clapping and telling them she’s proud.

And then it’s Yerim’s turn. She gets Hyejoo, and the two of them share a brief kiss, and only then does Jiwoo realizes _oh shit it’s her turn_.

She takes the bottle, and just spins it, trying not to think too much about it, and it starts to slow down around Heejin and Hyunjin. Jiwoo doesn’t think she minds too much kissing them, but then the bottle passes Heejin, Hyunjin, and Sooyoung, and starts heading toward Jinsol, and Jiwoo thinks that maybe she’d just have to kiss the older girl again, until the bottle stutters on its way to Jinsol, and starts to go the opposite direction stopping at Sooyoung.

Jiwoo’s heart drops, and she looks up from the bottle. Sooyoung isn’t staring at her. Sooyoung is looking at the bottle, with her face schooled into an annoyed expression.

“Be gentle with her Sooyoungie,” Jinsol teases, not sensing the slightly hostile atmosphere.

Sooyoung finally looks up, and when her gaze meets Jiwoo’s it’s sharp and hard.

Jiwoo averts her gaze.

//

Sooyoung is the one that crawls over to Jiwoo, and the younger girl does her best not to watch the sway of her hips, or the way the tank top sticks to her chest. The captain stops when she’s right in front of Jiwoo, and then she shifts into a kneeling position.

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow at her. Jiwoo can see the unspoken question. She nods her head, and Sooyoung shifts closer, untl she’s straddling Jiwoo.

Jiwoo’s face is probably tomato red, because she can feel her cheeks burning. Sooyoung settles on her lap, and then places a hand on the back of Jiwoo’s neck.

The freshman doesn’t really know where to look—she’s afraid of meeting the captain’s eyes, so she sort of just settles for looking at Sooyoung’s lips, and she can’t help but be fixated on them as they come closer: they’re so full and so pink, and they look like _so soft_.

As Sooyoung’s face and lips get closer and closer, Jiwoo feels something in her grow taut, she can’t explain it, she’s never felt like this before, but her body is rigid, and she feels as taut as a bowstring ready to snap. Her hands remain steadfast on either side of her, not sure if she should or even _can_ touch the older girl. Her eyes flutter close when Sooyoung’s lips finally touch hers, and she feels a multitude of things at once.

First, Sooyoung’s lips are impossibly soft, even softer than Jinsol’s. Second, Jiwoo’s inexperience and nervousness causes her to miss the captain’s lips now and then, and sometimes their teeth scrape together, which makes Jiwoo feel a little sheepish, but Sooyoung keeps kissing her without minding it. Third, Sooyoung’s other hand, which has come to rest on her cheek. Fourth, the way Sooyoung’s kissing her and breathing—the kiss is more intimate than Jinsol’s kiss, less chaste, but not exactly rough or aggressive. The older girl leads her into a solid rhythym, and it feels a lot like a dance that Jiwoo’s just clumsily trying to keep up with. And then the little breaths Sooyoung takes in every time their lips separate makes Jiwoo’s brain feel fuzzy. And fifth, the way she tastes. Sooyoung tastes sweet and maybe a little sour too, and Jiwoo knows this flavor: she tastes like green apples.

Jiwoo doesn’t even realize her hands are gripping Sooyoung’s thighs, until Sooyoung nips at her lower lip, making her grasp whatever it is she can, and her nails dig into Sooyoung’s thighs, causing the older girl to make some low sound into Jiwoo’s mouth.

The taut bowstring inside of Jiwoo snaps right then and there, and she pushes herself closer to Sooyoung, because she wants _more_ , and needs _more,_ and doesn’t understand anything. Sooyoung just hums in approval against her lips at the sudden aggression, and Jiwoo’s pretty sure she feels Sooyoung ground her hips down just a little, and everything feels too hot and too much, and at the same time _just not enough_ —

—and then Sooyoung’s pulling her head back. Jiwoo still has her eyes closed as she half-chases after Sooyoung’s lips, dazed and thrown-off. Once she finally opens her eyes, Sooyoung is just staring at her sort of breathing heavily, still on her lap.

Someone clears their throat.

“Damn, I should’ve kissed her like that if I knew she’d be fine with it,” Jinsol comments in the background, causing Heejin and the others to laugh, breaking whatever underlying tension there was in the air.

Jiwoo still feels like she’s suffocating, even when Sooyoung gets off her lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're welcome is all i can say. i live to serve. as the chapters get longer and we pass by the chapters i pre-wrote, updates may become a bit less frequent (i.e. one update a day instead of two, or one every other day). 
> 
> what do u guys think? im dying to hear ur thoughts bbs


	9. nine

After Jiwoo, they just move on to Yuna, who’s the last person, and then they’re done. They decide to scrap Truth or Dare, because Sooyoung was convinced that Jinsol and Heejin would just use it as an excuse to make everyone kiss all over again. By then, they all just start picking what movie to watch and settle on some nondescript family comedy. The lights are turned off and they all settle down as they watch the movie.

Everything passes by in a blur for Jiwoo. She’s not sure she ever recovered from her daze of kissing— _making out_ —with Sooyoung. Every now and then, Jiwoo will steal furtive glances at the older girl, but never blatantly stare, afraid to make eye contact, and sees Sooyoung acting the way she always does. The captain sits with her back straight, and looks down at her phone ever so often. Now and then, Heejin and her will talk, but that’s it. She mostly pays attention to the movie, cracking a small smile now and then. She certainly doesn’t look as bothered as Jiwoo does.

Jiwoo touches her lips. Moonbin had never made her feel that way when they kissed, but granted she was like 13 back then, and barely a teenager. But, taking that argument into consideration, Jiwoo should’ve felt the same then when Jinsol had kissed her, but she hadn’t. She’s even forgotten the way Jinsol tasted and felt—all she remembers about the kiss with Jinsol is how different it was from Sooyoung’s. She can still remember the taste of green apples, and the way Sooyoung had nipped at her bottom lip.

She blushes, shaking her head and trying to get rid of the thought. All of the girls had left the game behind the moment it ended. It didn’t matter, it was just a bunch of friends sharing stupid kisses at a slumber party.

//

They manage to finish the film, and by then it’s nearing midnight. They’re all kind of wiped out from school, and other things, so Sooyoung claps her hands to get their attention.

“Tradionally, we all sleep in my bedroom, but since Hyejoo lives here too, we can split it. Fresh meat in Hyejoo’s room, and older members in mine.”

Hyejoo does a small little grunt, and Jiwoo can already tell she’s not a big fan of sharing her room.

“The house has so many guest rooms, why—“ Jiwoo asks Yerim, which Hyejoo overhears.

The black haired girl rolls her eyes. “You tell me. It’s the team’s stupid tradition.”

“Guess we can be thankful Sooyoung’s more lax about it. If we really followed tradition,” Chaewon says. “We’d all be cramped into one room. Or maybe the living room.”

Hyejoo shrugs. “Guess so. Come on, my room’s here.” She starts walking, with Chaewon linking their arms. Tzuyu, Yeji, Ryujin, Yerim, Yuna, and Jiwoo follow her.

As they walked in the hallway, they passed by Sooyoung’s room, which Heejin, Yeri, Joy, Hyunjin and Jinsol were already in, if the screaming noises were any indication. On the way there, Sooyoung is about to close her door, and Jiwoo and her accidentally lock eyes.

Jiwoo’s face reddens thinking about the kiss, but then she also remembers how Sooyoung had seemed bothered by the paranoia game. She stops in front of Sooyoung’s room.

“Goodnight,” she whispers, giving her the most genuine smile she can muster.

Sooyoung just blinks at her for a second, and Jiwoo kind of has to stop herself from shivering when she sees the captain’s eyes drop to her lips for a second, before meeting her eyes again.

Sooyoung gives her a hesitant smile back, and there’s a look in her eyes that seems kind of heavy, but Jiwoo doesn’t understand it. Jiwoo can’t read her, not yet. “You too, Jiwoo,” she replies, her voice impossibly soft and low.

Then, she closes the door. Jiwoo exhales the breath she’s been holding.

//

It takes Jiwoo a long time before she can sleep. They play rock paper scissors in pairs to see which four girls get to sleep on the large king sized bed—and Jiwoo learns that Yerim is horrible at competitive games, so they ultimately lose. Hyejoo, Chaewon, Tzuyu, and Yeji get to sleep on the bed, while Ryujin, Chaeryeong, Yuna, Jiwoo, and Yerim sleep on a blown up mattress on the floor.

Jiwoo knows she’s the last one to fall asleep, because Tzuyu, Yeji, Hyejoo, and Chaewon fall quiet the moment they lay on the bed. Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and Yuna talk a bit amongst themselves, but then they fall asleep too, leaving Yerim and Jiwoo.

Yerim and Jiwoo talk a bit, but after a while, Yerim turns around, and mumbles a sleepy _good night_ to her, leaving Jiwoo for dreamland.

Jiwoo can’t sleep. She can’t get her mind off the kiss. She’s never had a real proper kiss like that. Never. The Moonbin kiss was chaste and awkward, the Jinsol one felt like a game type of kiss, but the one with Sooyoung just struck her as different. It was heated without being unnecessarily rough, not that she would have minded if it had become…

She stops herself and buries her face in the pillow. She had to stop thinking about it. It was just a game. It’s not Sooyoung’s fault Jiwoo was some inexperienced freshman.

Jiwoo falls asleep after awhile, and dreams of pink lips and apples.

//

Yerim wakes her up, and when Jiwoo opens her eyes, she realizes she’s the only one still asleep in the room. She groans, tired and sleepless, as she sits up.

Yerim shoots her a sympathetic look. “Bad sleep?”

Jiwoo wipes at her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Bad dream or…?”

A flash of pink lips, and the taste of green apples.

Jiwoo blushes. “No, it’s nothing. I just have a hard time sleeping sometimes.”

“Ah, I see. Hope you get to nap later,” Yerim tells her with a bright smile.

Jiwoo beams back at her. “Thanks.”

Hyejoo grumbles as she gets up, and tells them that Sooyoung texted that they had to go to the dining hall for breakfast. The girls have all seemingly washed their faces and freshened up, so they go ahead and follow Hyejoo, except for Jiwoo who rushes to the bathroom to freshen up. As she washes her face, she takes a deep breath, and tells herself to act normal.

It’s nothing. It’s a new day.

//

Breakfast is a quiet affair, as everyone is either too grumpy or too dishevelled in the morning to really strike up a normal conversation. Jiwoo is the last one to enter the dining room, and she can’t help herself—her eyes automatically land on Sooyoung.

Sooyoung’s hair is in a loose ponytail, exposing her clear cut pale collarbones. Jiwoo’s mouth grows dry, and she moves her eyes to Sooyoung’s face right when Sooyoung looks up from her plate. Soft brown eyes and dark brown eyes meet.

Jiwoo blushes, but she manages to smile at her.

Sooyoung gives her a stiff smile back, but then looks away.

Jiwoo sighs, and sits down to eat.

“Try this,” Yerim tells her, piling some bacon on her plate.

“Thanks,” Jiwoo murmurs. She steals one last glance at Sooyoung, and watches the older girl pick at her food—which, just like last night, was small portions-wise.

“Soo, can you pass me that?” Heejin asks her.

Sooyoung doesn’t respond, seemingly lost in thought, until Heejin repeats it, louder.

“Mm?”

“The rice, Sooyoungie.”

“Oh, right.” She hands it over. “Sorry.”

//

When Jiwoo gets home later on, picked up by her father, who asks her fifty times if she’s okay, she just keeps quiet, and nods, afraid her voice won’t work.

When Jungeun asks her to hang out later on that day, Jiwoo asks if they can move it to Monday after her cheer practice.

She just needs the weekend to reboot and think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooo hooooooo i was pre-writing a chapter earlier and DAMN GUYS I HOPE UR READY FOR THE INTENSE SHIT TO COME anyways 
> 
> what do guys think of the story so far? a lot of u say u like the pacing which im rlly thankful for <3 this is my first big multi-chapter fic, so i still get a bit insecure with writing
> 
> decided to jus give u guys another treat by updating twice !! as always comments n kudos rlly motivate me :>


	10. ten

When Monday comes along, Jiwoo feels like she’s ready. She’d spent the whole weekend _definitely not thinking about the kiss_ thank you very much. She slept, procrastinated with her school work, and video called with Jungeun on Sunday evening because Jungeun wanted to show her the dinner she’d attempted to make for herself.

Jiwoo’s day passes by in a blur, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t excited for her first official cheer practice with the team—even if it was three hours long, and she was sure she’d be dead by the end of it.

Jungeun meets her by her locker for lunch after Chem.

“How was the sleepover?” her best friend asks.

Jiwoo makes a face. “…interesting, I guess.”

“ _Ooo_ , spill.”

“ _No_.”

Jungeun rolls her eyes and pinches Jiwoo’s side. Jiwoo yelps.

“Come on, spill it, what happened?”

Jungeun is a hard person to say no to.

“I don’t know, a lot of stuff I guess. Sooyoung and Hyejoo are fucking loaded, and like it was all kinda normal at first, but things got weird when we played some games.”

Jungeun chuckles. “Ohmygod, _please_ tell me you did that cliche thing and played truth or dare.”

“We…” Jiwoo starts. “…something like that, I guess. I don’t know. I’ll tell you more about it later. I’m still kinda freaked out about what happened.”

Jungeun nods in understanding, intertwining their fingers. “Let’s go eat. I’m sure Yerim and Yeojin are already tired with waiting for us.”

“Yeah.”

//

At lunch, Yerim and Yeojin are awkward with each other, which strikes Jiwoo as strange. They sit a seat apart instead of together, and Yerim gives her this look that says _please sit in between us_ , which again, _strange_ , because they were usually inseparable. Jiwoo complies though, even if she wants to sit next to Jungeun. She knows Jungeun won’t mind, because she’s the most low maintenance friend there is.

There was one summer when Jungeun didn’t even send her a single text, and just vanished, and then when the school year started, she was back in Jiwoo’s embrace, cheerfully talking to her as if nothing had changed, because nothing _had_.

As Jiwoo settles in between them, and Jungeun sits by herself across the three of them, and they all dig into their food, a suffocating silence befalls their table. She glances at Yerim and raises an eyebrow, and Yerim just mouths _later_ to her.

“I joined the swim team,” Jungeun says after a beat.

Jiwoo’s eyes widen. “But aren’t you inju—“

“—as one of their student managers,” Jungeun finishes. “And they say once my ankle heals, I can try out. Their tryouts are year round, apparently.”

“That’s great!” Yerim exclaims, smiling at her.

“What about cheer?” Jiwoo asks.

Jungeun shrugs. “Well, maybe next year. I just needed to do something to keep busy, you feel?”

“Yeah. Well, I’m happy for you,” Jiwoo genuinely tells her.

“Congrats,” is all Yeojin says, before looking back down at her food.

Jungeun beams at them. “Thanks.”

//

Jiwoo sees Sooyoung in the cafeteria because it would be impossible _not to_ because she always knows where the older girl sits, and also because it seems that she just can’t stop looking for Sooyoung whenever she enters a room that _might_ have the older girl in it, which is kinda creepy, if she thinks about it, but she really doesn’t want to.

As always, Sooyoung is sitting with Heejin, Hyunjin, Yeri, Joy, and Jinsol. For once, Heejin isn’t preoccuppied with Hyunjin, because she seems to be reading some textbook, so Heejin and Sooyoung chat with each other, Heejin talking excitedly, while Sooyoung just shrugs and says something brief in return. It really doesn’t escape Jiwoo that Sooyoung’s tray only consists of a green apple, and half a sandwich. The food portions she eats are _so_ small.

Sooyoung looks up and catches her gaze, because _of course_. It seems like something that always happens to them anyway, like there’s this magnetic field, and they’re two opposite ends of a magnet being pulled together. Jiwoo scrunches her nose at the metaphor. _That was cheesy_ , she thinks.

Jiwoo smiles at her. She’s been trying to do that, instead of the usual shifting of gazes.

Sooyoung gives her the same hesitant smile back, and then goes back to talking with Heejin, essentially ignoring Jiwoo the whole time.

//

“It’s because I kissed someone else,” Yerim tells Jiwoo when they’re dressing up for practice.

“ _What?”_ Jiwoo furrows her eyebrows. “Why would she be upset about that?”

“Because _I_ kissed someone else,” Yerim repeats.

“So…” Jiwoo pauses for a second. “Yeojin _likes_ you?”

Yerim looks mildly offended. “Why do you sound so incredulous? I’m a catch—“

“—not that, but Yeojin liking you…” Jiwoo trails off. “I thought you guys were like me and Jungeun.”

Yerim shakes her head. “We’re best friends, yeah, but I always knew she had…you know.”

“A crush on you?”

“Yeah.”

The puzzle pieces click in Jiwoo’s head. “So when you told me that _that_ kiss wasn’t your first kiss with a girl in the sleepover…”

Yerim shrugs. “Yeah.”

“ _Huh_.”

“I don’t know, it’s just…of course, I feel bad, but, also…”

“Why aren’t you guys dating? I mean if it’s your best friend. Like, if Jungeun liked me, and I liked her, _ew by the way_ , and we kissed or something, we’d probably just date already.”

“But,” Yerim says with the first frown Jiwoo’s ever seen on her. “I’m not sure if I like her like that. I…kind of have a small crush on someone else right now.”

“Well, it’s gonna be okay.” Jiwoo beams at her, and hugs her. “Things will work out on their own.”

“I hope so,” Yerim mumbles into her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who does yerim like,,,, is it someone on the team...let me know who y'all think it is hihihi we're building up to a rlly pivotal chapter that will rlly set the whole story into motion
> 
> also last question but once i finish this and my SaMo/MiMo story and MiNayeon story, i was thinking of doing a 2jin spin-off of this and doing another Chuuves story
> 
> i had the idea of a sugar baby/sugar daddy one, and wondered if this was interesting for any of u


	11. eleven

Practice is as brutal as Jiwoo thought it would be. Heejin, Jinsol, Joy, and Yeri, who are usually playing around and having fun, have stoic expressions once Jiwoo and Yerim enter. They’re all standing in an attention-like pose, along with the other girls, and Sooyoung stands in front of them. Jiwoo and Yerim join the line.

Sooyoung is all business. They do stretches, run 10 laps, do more stretches, and then work on their splits, flips, and lifts. Jiwoo usually does well in practices, but she’s still feeling off from everything that’s happened, and seeing Sooyoung ordering them around, panting, and a little sweaty is _throwing her off_. Jiwoo trips a little when they run laps, and she lags a behind, making Sooyoung make the whole team run an extra lap. She also accidentally almost drops Heejin when they’re lifting her, which earns them all a 1 minute plank punishment. The worst is when they have to do 3 consecutive backflips, and she messed up her last one, and when Heejin gave her a second, and then a third, and fourth chance, and she still couldn’t do it, Sooyoung stepped in and told her to clean up the mats after practice.

Yuna and Yerim just pat her on the back and shoot her sympathetic looks as Jiwoo stands with her head hung.

//

When practice is over, everyone leaves quickly, wanting to shower first. The only one that lingers is Sooyoung, who’s flipping through her iPad which she uses to record some of the things they practiced. Jiwoo can hear her re-watching some of the footage.

Jiwoo grunts as she picks up the mats, and rolls them up. She’s never had to do matts—you only usually had to do it if you missed a meeting or was late, or messed up a lot. She feels shame wash over her.

Jiwoo finishes after fifteen minutes, and when she wipes at her forehead, feeling icky and sweaty, she realizes that Sooyoung’s still there, sitting down on a plastic chair, and watching the footage. Jiwoo gulps, and says, “Uh, I’m done…cap.”

Sooyoung looks up, and meets her eyes. Her expression is the same expression she had during training: professional, distant… _cold_. She nods her head in acknowledgement.

Jiwoo grabs her bag, and leaves. She doesn’t look back.

//

Jiwoo showers, and only when she leaves the locker room and the gym does she see Jungeun waiting, and realize she’d forgotten she’d made plans.

“Ohmygod, I’m so sorry,” she sputters out.

Jungeun gives her an easy smile. “It’s all good. You tired?”

Jiwoo’s pretty sure she doesn’t even need to say yes. She nods.

“Come on. Let’s get ice cream and I’ll drive you home.”

Jiwoo gives a relieved sigh, and holds Jungeun’s hand as they walk toward the parking lot. On the way there, she catches Hyejoo leaning against Sooyoung’s car. Sooyoung isn’t there yet. Hyejoo spots her and waves, but doesn’t smile.

Jiwoo beams at her. She tugs at Jungeun. “Come here, I’ll introduce you to my friend from cheer.”

They walk to Hyejoo, who just watches them with her usual impassive expression.

“Hey,” Jiwoo says. “This is Jungeun, my best friend. Jungeun, this is Hyejoo.”

Jungeun and Hyejoo bow to each other and say hi.

“How was doing mats?” Hyejoo asks her, raising an eyebrow.

Jiwoo groans. “Ugh, _never again_. That was torture. I could literally feel all of our sweat on them.”

Hyejoo barks out a laugh, while Jungeun’s eyes widen. “You did _mats_?”

Jiwoo sighs. “Yes.”

Hyejoo shakes her head. “Stop being so clumsy. Heejin’s a bit more lenient, but Sooyoung _isn’t_.”

“I’m starting to see that.”

The three of them talk for a bit, until Sooyoung comes up to them. Their conversation automatically dies down. “Sooyoung,” Hyejoo says. “This is Jungeun, Jiwoo’s friend.”

Jungeun gives her a small smile. “Hey.”

Sooyoung looks at her, and Jiwoo notices her gaze move down to their intertwined hands. “Hi.” She then shifts her gaze to Jiwoo. “Jiwoo.”

“Uh…hi,” she replies, blushing.

“Let’s go home,” Sooyoung tells Hyejoo.

Hyejoo nods. “Bye Jiwoo, Jungeun.”

“Bye, Hyejoo!” Jiwoo says. “…bye, Sooyoung.” She tries to smile at her, even if she’s a little scared.

Sooyoung stares at her. It’s heavy, and Jiwoo _still_ doesn’t understand it, has _never_ understood it. And then, she just gets in the car with Hyejoo. Jiwoo and Jungeun move back as they drive off.

//

Jiwoo promises to herself that she’d do better in practices, and _prove_ that she belongs to be there.

Except, she keeps messing up for some _fucking_ reason. The next few practices, she has to battle with the exhaustion and the nervousness she feels around the captain. Sooyoung becomes exceedingly colder, all stiff nods, and strict demands. Every small mistake Jiwoo makes, she zones in on, making Jiwoo even more flustered.

She does mats for the next two sessions, and she can sense that even Heejin, Hyunjin, Jinsol, Joy, and Yeri feel a bit bad for her.

The only solace is that Chaewon occasionally messes up too, and does mats with her once. Another solace is the fact that since Sooyoung stays behind every time after practice, Hyejoo does too, and once Hyejoo realizes waiting in the gym and chatting with Jiwoo is much more interesting then waiting for Sooyoung in the hot parking lot, she starts sticking around and keeping Jiwoo company as she fixes the mats.

Doing mats is even worse than practice. In practice, Jiwoo doesn’t have to receive _all_ of Sooyoung’s heavy stares, but doing mats by herself, she can basically feel it burning a hole into the back of her head.

Every time Jiwoo tries to smile at her or greet her, Sooyoung just stares and nods.

It’s driving Jiwoo crazy to be completely honest.

//

Things between Yeojin and Yerim don’t really smooth over, it just gets progressively more awkward culminating into Yeojin moving tables to eat with her other friends, and Yerim looking guilty.

A development, at the very least, is the addition of Hyejoo and Chaewon, who start sitting with them. The four of them have gotten a bit close, especially Hyejoo and Yerim who usually end up waiting for Jiwoo to finish doing mats together.

“What happened?” Jiwoo asks her during lunch. It’s roughly been around a week, and things between Yeojin and Yerim were degrading as fast as her non-existent relationship with the captain of the cheersquad.

“She confessed,” Yerim mutters, picking at her food.

“And you rejected her?”

Yerim sighs. “I told you. I like someone else.” She glances at where Hyejoo and Chaewon are sitting. 

Jiwoo hasn’t asked who it is, not sure if she has a right to know. “Will Yeojin be okay?” She asks instead.

“I want to say yes, but…” Yerim shrugs. “I don’t know, Jiwoo. I’m just lost.”

Jiwoo holds her hand. “I’m here for you.”

Yerim smiles at her. “I know.” She squeezes her hand. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a 2nd update bcos i love u all and u keep me well fed with ur comments <3
> 
> ooooooooooooo this is a rlly important set up to a pretty big chapter, which is the one coming next 0-0
> 
> what do u guys think? y'all know who yerim likes btw? hehe


	12. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow i updated 3 times today nice

Jiwoo surprisingly does well in their next practice after a whole week of awkward performances. She manages to escape mats, but not everything good lasts, she realizes, when in the next practice, Sooyoung catches her when she slips, and the feeling of Sooyoung pressed against her, and her arms around her throws Jiwoo off for the rest of the practice.

Sooyoung, as always, is sharp. She snaps at Jiwoo, maybe even a little harsher than how she snaps at the other girls.

“Jiwoo, you’re lagging behind!”

“Jiwoo, your flips are sloppy!”

“Jiwoo, all you have to do is support _Hyunjin_!”

It does nothing to help Jiwoo focus, and when Sooyoung announces who’ll be doing mats, she already, bitterly knows it’s going to be her.

Sooyoung approaches her after she finishes the mats to tell her to be better, and all she can do is feel her shame slowly turn into resentment.

//

It gets worse everytime Jiwoo, Hyejoo, and Yerim chat after classes by Sooyoung’s car. Sooyoung will acknowledge her stepsister, and even _Yerim_ , but just stare at Jiwoo with that same fucking _heavy_ frustrating look, and say nothing more. Sometimes, she’ll give Jiwoo a stiff nod, _if_ Jiwoo’s lucky.

Jiwoo’s not that lucky.

Jiwoo stops smiling at her altogether, annoyed as she is confused. She convinces herself it’s nothing and that she can do it, she can do better in practice.

//

But the way Sooyoung looks at her, or has been looking at her, is too much for Jiwoo. She can’t focus during practice, and she can’t focus during meetings. It’s unprofessional and she doesn’t like feeling this way. She doesn’t understand _why_ Sooyoung has such an effect on her, but what she does know is that the way Sooyoung looks at her is different, because Jiwoo had seen the way the captain looked at the others, and there wasn’t enough sharpness to make them feel cut up and raw, there wasn’t as much intensity. Jiwoo feels like she’s being taken apart, and it’s isn’t _fair_.

And so, she _snaps_.

It’s after practice, and as per tradition, the one/s who perform the poorest during that practice are asked to clean up the mats. Go figure, it was Jiwoo, as she’d missed so many cues during the practice run, trying to avoid Sooyoung’s heavy gaze.

Sooyoung and her are the only ones in the gym, and there’s something in the air around them that makes it feel like it’s thrumming alive with something.

Jiwoo’s picking up the mats, huffing at their weight, and cursing at herself, when she feels a presence behind her and hears footsteps. She turns around, and comes face to face with Sooyoung.

Sooyoung doesn’t say anything for awhile, just gives her the same sharp gaze for a bit, and then she speaks. “Your performance today was surprisingly lacklustre.” Her tone is sarcastic.

Jiwoo tightens her jaw. Once upon time, she would have been shameful, but she genuinely believes that Sooyoung’s somewhat out to get to her. Instead, she feels defiant. She doesn’t reply.

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow. “Is there a problem, Jiwoo?”

_Yes,_ Jiwoo wants to say, _there’s a fucking problem, and it’s you. Stop looking at me like that, like I’m always doing something wrong, like you don’t think I’m good enough_.

She shakes her head, and takes a deep breath instead. “No. Everything’s fine.” Even to her, it sounds extremely strained.

“I didn’t take you for a liar,” Sooyoung says, and there’s a bite to it, like there often is whenever she opens her mouth to say something.

Jiwoo bites back. “I don’t know why you’re still here. I’ll do better next time, and I’m gonna fix the fucking mats, alright?”

A silence befalls them and Jiwoo swears she can hear her own heartbeat thudding in her head as she defiantly meets Sooyoung’s gaze. Jiwoo has never seen anyone on the team answer Sooyoung back, maybe Heejin, but that was _Heejin_ , and she was allowed to do that. Jiwoo’s just…the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes she’s currently engaged in some sort of heated conversation with her captain, who was a junior.

She knows she made a mistake the moment Sooyoung’s face hardens. The captain takes a big step toward her, until they’re only a breath apart, and stares her down.

“What did you say to me?” Sooyoung whispers.

Jiwoo can hear the anger in her voice, even if her tone is quiet. She feels the hair on the back of her neck rise up, from how close they are, from how scared she is.

Jiwoo gulps and averts her eyes. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

Sooyoung raises her hand, and at first Jiwoo’s afraid that the older girl will actually hit her. She flinches when the hand comes in contact with her face, only for the fingers to gently fix Jiwoo’s bangs, and Jiwoo raises her eyebrows in surprise.

Sooyoung then drops her hand…on to Jiwoo’s shoulder. Jiwoo squeaks a little at the sudden contact, and she can’t help but just _stare_ , confused and feeling a million things at the moment.

“Uh—“ Jiwoo starts, but Sooyoung interrupts her.

“—I don’t like liars,” Sooyoung says, matter of factly. “I don’t tolerate them.” She starts to get even closer to Jiwoo, if that was even possible, and Jiwoo takes a step back for every step forward Sooyoung takes. She doesn’t know what to say or do, all she knows is she needs to put a distance between them. “I also don’t like consistent fuck ups.”

The air feels charged, and heavy.

Jiwoo keeps stepping back, until her back hits one of the walls, and she realizes as she winces, that she’s trapped.

Sooyoung stands in front of her, an immovable force. Jiwoo doesn’t understand what’s _happening_ , so she apologizes, thinking it will make everything feel less… _whatever this was._

“I’m sorry,” she breathes out.

Sooyoung tilts her head to the side, and leans in, her left hand coming up to rest on Jiwoo’s cheek, her right hand dropping to Jiwoo’s waist.

Jiwoo gasps.

“I—“

Sooyoung kisses her. Jiwoo’s eyes don’t flutter close like they’re supposed to, instead she’s frozen, her lips unmoving as she registers the fact that _Ohmyfucking God what is happening_. Sooyoung’s lips are impossibly soft, and the hand on Jiwoo’s waist holds it almost too roughly, nails digging into the skin her sports bra exposed, but the hand on her cheek is soft, and gentle.

Sooyoung doesn’t stop, and Jiwoo finds her eyes closing after awhile, as she relaxes in Sooyoung’s embrace and kiss.

Jiwoo doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing, because she doesn’t really have a lot of experience kissing people, but she starts moving her lips, and Sooyoung makes this sound that’s high and airy, and Jiwoo just knows she has to hear it again.

Sooyoung presses herself against Jiwoo, eliminating whatever miniscule of space was between them, and Jiwoo lets out an embarassing moan, which Sooyoung takes advantage of, as the older girl slips her tongue in Jiwoo’s mouth.

Jiwoo’s breath hitches at the foreign feeling.

At some point, Sooyoung moves her left hand down from Jiwoo’s face to Jiwoo’s waist as well, and she pulls Jiwoo toward her, kissing her even more roughly, all tongue and teeth, as she nips at Jiwoo’s lips.

Jiwoo feels her toes curling as all she can do is try to keep up, and moan, and attempt to breathe, and then she’s moving her hands up and wrapping them around Sooyoung’s neck.

Sooyoung hums against her lips in approval.

They stay like that for what feels like _too long_ and _not enough_ , and when Sooyoung’s hand starts to crawl up her stomach toward her chest, Jiwoo’s phone suddenly rings. Sooyoung halts her actions, and pulls back from Jiwoo, their lips making a popping sound, and a trail of saliva following her.

Sooyoung takes a step back, and wipes at her lips, and Jiwoo leans against the wall, trying to catch her breath, her eyes still closed. She’s afraid to open them. She’s afraid, and confused.

She hears Sooyoung take a few more steps back, and when Jiwoo finally opens her eyes, the door to the gym is swinging close, and Sooyoung’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so....LMAO couldnt hold myself back from posting this LOL MERRY XMAS MY BABIES HAHAHAHAHAH
> 
> so. how are we. how do we feel. PLEASE i wanna know HAHAHA


	13. thirteen

Jiwoo probably stands there for another ten minutes or so, before she finally manages to come to. A million thoughts don’t run through her head, instead, it’s just one question: _did that really happen or has she finally gone insane_?

Jiwoo fixes the mats, grabs her bag, takes the longest coldest shower she can, and goes home.

That night, she dreams again of pink lips and green apples.

//

Jiwoo’s not yet entirely sure if it really happened. A part of her half thinks she’s finally gone insane and dreamt the whole scenario up, but most of her knows it happened, and knows that Sooyoung essentially walked out on her, or ran away, but those were semantics.

She’s never been more thankful that they had no practice that day. As she meets Jungeun by her locker in the morning, she lets out a nervous breath, and decides to tell her best friend everything.

“Jiwooming, you like you saw a ghost,” Jungeun points out. “Are you okay?”

Jiwoo leans against her locker, and keeps an eye out for anyone who might be listening. Assured that no one will probably hear her, she answers Jungeun with the truth. “Sooyoung kissed me yesterday, and I kissed her back, and then she left, and now I feel weird.”

Jungeun’s eyes widen comically. The normally calm, cool, and collected girl looks anything but those things in that moment. “She _what_.”

Jiwoo sighs, and closes her eyes. “It was after practice. I was cleaning up the mats as usual, and we sort of got into this weird argument kind of, and then I said something that pissed her off or whatever, and then she backed me into a corner and kissed me. And I kissed her back. I… _wanted_ to.”

“Uh, _wow_.” Jungeun leans against her own locker, shocked. “I didn’t expect that? I knew you guys kissed in the slumber party, but that was two weeks ago, and I didn’t think…huh.”

“It’s weird. Ever since that kiss, at the slumber party, everything’s been _so_ weird between us.” _Not that there’s much of an us. We’re not even friends._

“Why’d you guys even argue? And what is up with you always doing mats?” Jungeun genuinely sounds confused, and Jiwoo can’t blame her. Back in their old school, Jiwoo was a good cheerleader. She _always_ did good enough.

“I was tired and annoyed, cause I kept having to do mats…and I kept having to do mats because, like, I don’t know.” Jiwoo groans. “She was distracting me, and I was just always so off around her. I couldn’t perform well, and she called me out, and I thought she was lowkey attacking me, but looking back, my performance really wasn’t good at all recently, so…and I don’t know I got pissed when she called me out, so I said something to her, and she just _snapped_.”

“Did she yell at you or something?”

“No, that’s what’s worse. She just got really quiet, and talked in a really soft tone, and kept getting nearer, and nearer, and nearer, and then we were just _making out_.”

Jungeun lets out a low whistle. “I didn’t expect… _something like that_ …from Ha Sooyoung, to be honest.”

“And me? What? You expected it of me?” Jiwoo pouts.

Jungeun laughs and ruffles her hair a bit. “No, but you’re not the blushing virgin you pretend to be either. I’m pretty sure you save like porn vide-“

Jiwoo swats her. “Stop it! I need genuine advice, Jungeunie.”

“Okay, okay. Uh, I don’t know. Why don’t you just talk to her about it?”

“ _No_ , she’s going to eat me alive.”

Jungeun smirks at her and Jiwoo swats her again. “Not in _that_ way, you perv.”

“But do you _really_ not want it to be that way, though. Jokes aside, talking is the best solution.”

Jiwoo crosses her arms. “I’m not doing that.”

Jungeun shrugs. “Then, you just move on with your life.”

//

Sooyoung isn’t in the cafeteria, much to Jiwoo’s relief and disappointment. Neither is Heejin. Jiwoo pretends it doesn’t pique her interest as she eats her lunch and listen to Yerim, Hyejoo, Chaewon, and Jungeun’s banter. Yeojin still hasn’t joined them. As far as Jiwoo knew, Yerim and Yeojin still weren’t okay, and by the looks of it, wouldn’t be for some time.

“I’m literally better than her at anything,” Hyejoo proudly says, while Chaewon huffs.

Yerim solemnly nods. “I believe that.”

“See? Yerim agrees with me.”

Chaewon rolls her eyes. “I’m better than you at _video_ games.”

Hyejoo scoffs. “Yeah, you are. In a parallel universe where I don’t exist to beat you in everything.”

“I’m being bullied,” Chaewon announces, making Jungeun laugh. “Cheerleaders are still the cliche bullies they’ve always been.”

“Fine,” Hyejoo says with a small smile—it’s something Jiwoo notices is usually present when Chaewon is around. “Name one game you think you can beat me in, and after school, we go to my house and play.”

“Any game.”

“Name _one_.”

“Fortnite.”

“ _Basic._ ”

“You just think it’s basic cause you suck at building,” Chaewon shoots back.

Hyejoo turns to them. “You guys wanna come and watch me beat her ass?”

Yerim perks up. “Sure, I’m down.”

Jiwoo thinks of Hyejoo’s house, and remembers it’s not just _hers_. She thinks of Sooyoung and shivers a little.

“Uh, sorry, Jungeun and I already have plans.”

“We d—“ Jungeun is about to ask, but Jiwoo kicks her under the table. She winces. “Yeah, we do. Best friend date.”

Hyejoo shrugs. “Suit yourselves.”

//

Jungeun and Jiwoo end up running into Yeji and Jisu on their way to the mall, and the couple persuade them into blowing off some cash at the bowling alley.

As Jiwoo throws her third ball with all of her strength, and manages to do her second knock out, she can’t help but smile and think that this was exactly what she needed to blow off some steam.

Yeji and Jisu are nice, and Jiwoo gets along with them well enough, more so with Yeji as they’re both on the cheersquad, but Jisu is impossible to dislike. She’s sweet, and a little strange, and really competitive when it came to… _bowling_.

As they play, and Jungeun and Jiwoo keep scoring well, Yeji suddenly says, “How long have you guys been together?”

Jungeun drops the ball and it goes into the gutter about the same time Jiwoo’s eyes almost pop out of her skull. Yeji’s innocent expression then turns mischievous as she and Jisu high five.

“I told you that would work,” Jisu tells her.

“Cheaters!” Jiwoo yells at them.

//

The four of them end up just walking around the mall after playing in the bowling alley, up until Jisu mentions that she really wants to try the new yogurt place. Jiwoo, who never says no to food, _ever_ , is already dragging Jungeun to come with them to the yogurt shop.

Jisu and Jiwoo line up, while Jungeun and Yeji save them a table. Everything is perfectly fine, and Jiwoo’s actually having a _good_ time. It feels nice to forget about her problems and do mindless things.

“How did you and Yeji start dating?” she asks Jisu as they stand in line.

Jisu tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiles. “Just this summer actually. We…I used to date Ryujin, and Yeji used to date Chaeryeong’s older sister, Chaeyeon, but things didn’t work out and we’ve always just been best friends, so…we just started to catch feelings one day, and realized we were in love or maybe had always been sort of in love.”

“Ryujin…? She’s okay with it?”

Jisu nods with a chuckle. “She’s fine with it. She and I are cool, and Yeji and her are, like, best bros, so I think it’s all good. Plus, she has that thing going on right now.”

“Is she dating anyone?” That surprised Jiwoo as Ryujin reminded her a bit of Jinsol when it came to their sexual jokes and side comments.

“Uh, _something_ like that. She’s still being dumb about it, but Yeji and me are sure she’ll figure it out sooner or later.” Jisu tilts her head to the side. “How about you and Jungeun? Nothing there? At all?”

Jiwoo profusely shakes her head. “ _No_. She’s kind of like a mom and a brother at the same time.”

“Aw, you’d be cute together though.”

“Again, I’ll _barf_.”

Jisu laughs. After awhile, the four yogurts they ordered are done, and they collect it and walk back to the table. Jiwoo’s too busy trying not to drop either, because she’s clumsy as fuck, so she doesn’t really observe her surroundings, which causes her to be surprised by what Yeji says next.

“Hey, Sooyoung, Heejin, and Hyunjin are here. Look, they’re there,” Yeji says, pointing them out.

They’re sitting in the far right corner of the shop, secluded in a booth, but Jiwoo can still see them, and they evidently can see Jiwoo and her group as well, because the moment Jiwoo makes eye contact with Heejin, the vice captain schools her expression into something she can’t read. Sooyoung doesn’t look at them at all, but Heejin does whisper something to her.

Hyunjin seems mostly unbothered as she just blinks owlishly at Jiwoo, but when Yeji waves at their group, she waves back. Heejin does as well, but she keeps glancing at Jiwoo with _that_ expression—somewhere in between a smile, and a grimace, like she feels bad for her, but is also kind of entertained.

“Should we say hi?” Yeji asks.

Jungeun and Jiwoo share a look.

“They look kinda preoccupied,” Jungeun says after awhile.

Yeji nods, convinced.

Jiwoo sighs as she eats her yogurt. She should’ve known it was too good to be true for this day to be okay.

//

Jungeun and Jiwoo end up leaving the mall earlier than Yeji and Jisu, who are still going to watch a move. They all hug each other goodbye, and Jungeun drives Jiwoo home.

“Hey,” Jungeun says as she parks outside of Jiwoo’s house. “You good?”

Jiwoo wants to nod and just be done with it, but she knows how important being honest is to Jungeun. Instead, she sighs. “No, I just feel weird and confused I guess.”

Jungeon pats her cheek. “Things will get easier. I’m sure of it. Give it time, okay? And think about what I said. Maybe talking with her will help.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo mutters, as she exits the car.

“Love you, Jiwooming.”

“Love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will be replying to all ur comments later today AHAAHAHAH ur reactions were so edakh 
> 
> anyways, something BIG is coming 0-0 hope we're all ready 
> 
> let me know what u think of this chapter and how the yerim-chaewon-hyejoo-yeojin situation will go down if u have any theories hehe


	14. fourteen

Jiwoo is reduced to a jumpy mess by the time practice comes around the next day. She feels nervous, she feels awkward, she feels _confused_. And what’s worse, and what bothers her is the idea that she can’t really share her experience with anyone else, and if she does, she doesn’t know if they’ll understand her. Jungeun is a great listener, but she doesn’t know Sooyoung well enough to give Jiwoo sound advice. She’s convinced she really can’t talk it out with a older girl.

Yerim…Jiwoo doesn’t want to involve her. It seems wrong, and unprofessional.

Then again, kissing her captain wasn’t all that professional either.

Hyejoo, Chaewon, and Yerim are completely fine and blissfully unaware of the internal turmoil Jiwoo’s going through as they enter the gym. They line up, and Heejin and Sooyoung are already there with their arms crossed standing in front of the girls.

Sooyoung doesn’t spare her a single glance.

//

Jiwoo is feeling so pressured that she ends up surpassing being a flustered mess, and ends up doing _really_ well during practice. She’s convinced it’s because she subconsciously really wants to avoid any sort of interaction with the captain. She wants to shrink into herself and sort of disappear from Sooyoung’s world. She doesn’t want to bring attention to herself, so she performs every move perfectly, and doesn’t lag behind when they do laps either.

Sooyoung herself only calls her out for minor things, but her words lack the usual bite. It’s more dismissive, and she spends more time focused on the other girls, while Heejin handles Jiwoo, and some of the others. It was something the captain and vice-captain often did anyway: they split which girls to pay attention to, but it _really_ doesn’t escape Jiwoo’s notice that she’d always been in Sooyoung’s roster, until now, after…whatever it is they did.

She really tries not to be bothered by it, because a part of her knows that’s another rabbit hole that she can’t afford to fall into. She just wants practice to end.

She just wants things to stop feeling weird.

Nobody is assigned to do mats that day, and Yerim, Hyejoo, and the other girls tease Jiwoo about it in a good natured manner. She manages to muster a smile as she heads toward the showers with the other girls.

On her way there, she spots Heejin, who’s also packing her stuff up. “Hey,” Jiwoo says in the passing.

Unlike Sooyoung, Heejin’s always been a bit more approachable, and definitely friendlier and more playful out of the whole cheer environment. She smiles back at Heejin. There’s a knowing glint in her eyes. “Hey, yourself.”

Jiwoo is about to keep on walking, but then Heejin says something else. “You did good today.”

She blushes. “Thanks.”

“We were afraid we’d made a mistake, you know. And we _never_ make mistakes about who we recruit.”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “I’m sorry about that. I was having a lot of off days.”

Heejin shrugs. “We all have those. What matters is you did good today. I’m proud of you. It was getting painful, watching,” she pauses for a bit, “ _Sooyoung_ make you run all those extra laps and do the mats.”

When she says Sooyoung, she says it with a strange emphasis. Heejin’s smile turns a bit more dangerous, like she’s fishing for a reaction.

Jiwoo averts her gaze. “Yeah, _hah_ , well, I’ll just keep improving.”

“Hopefully. See you around, Jiwoo.” Heejin’s still smiling when she looks down at her bag to fix it.

Jiwoo leaves the gym, feeling weird and taken apart.

//

She can’t get the kiss of her mind. She can’t get the kiss of her mind. She can’t get the kiss of her mind. She can’t—

—Jiwoo buries her face into her pillow. It isn’t _fair_ at all. She barely kissed anyone, of _course_ she’s going to be hung up on a couple of good kisses from her _idol_ Ha Sooyoung. It isn’t fair because Sooyoung’s _so_ pretty, and so accomplished, and much older, and probably more experienced, and—

—Jiwoo barely gets any sleep that night. When she does, it’s to warm lips and soft hands.

//

“You should just talk to her,” Jungeun says. “It’s obviously bothering you a lot. It doesn’t have to be about her. It can just be about you, and for you.”

“It’s easier said than done.” Jiwoo sighs and steals a glance at Sooyoung’s table, where she’s finally sitting at, talking to Heejin while holding up her phone. Probably to show her something.

“So? Just do it. Who cares if she’s scary? Honestly, what can she do? She seems professional enough, I doubt she’s gonna go ham on you or whatever. Just talk to her. Heejin will probably keep her in line if ever she _does_ get unprofessional.”

Jungeun makes sense.

“I just—“

“—no. Just…stop torturing yourself.” Jungeun pats her on the back. “I’m a big believer in _not making our lives unnecessarily difficult_.”

“That does sound like a good philosophy.”

“It’s the best there is.”

Jiwoo gives her a weak smile. “I’ll…try to talk to her today, after school. We don’t have practice anyway.”

“Good.”

//

Jiwoo backs out last minute and hangs out with Hyejoo and Chaewon and Yerim instead.

//

“You didn’t do it.”

“Ugh, I just got cold feet, okay?”

Jungeun shrugs. “Do it after cheer today.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

//

She doesn’t.

//

It goes on until Friday. Jiwoo’s consistently performing well during practices, but she can barely sleep, and she’s always out of it.

“Hey, I don’t know what’s up,” Yerim says to her during their twenty minute break. “But, you’ve been kinda weird this week. Are you okay?”

“I’m just…dealing with something. I don’t know.”

Yerim gives her the softest of smiles. “Hey, you can tell me anything, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And if you’re nervous, just remember that, if it’s something you have to do, it doesn’t get any easier if you keep postponing it.”

Jiwoo sighs. Yerim’s right too.

//

Jiwoo tries to corner Sooyoung after practice that day, which she suspects Sooyoung sort of caught on to, maybe it was because Jiwoo kept glancing at her during practice, or maybe because Jiwoo was headed towards her now, or maybe she’d been _expecting_ it, because she takes one look at Jiwoo, grabs Hyejoo, and leaves the gym.

Jiwoo can only blink at the closing gym doors.

//

Jiwoo ends up telling Yerim everything, and Yerim just sort of blinks at her, mouth agape for a few seconds, but when she gets her bearings, she doesn’t judge Jiwoo at all, and launches into a game plan.

“You should talk to Heejin,” Yerim confidently says.

“ _What_?” Jiwoo almost spits her drink out. “She’s Sooyoung’s _best friend_. She’ll tell her shit for sure.”

Yerim shrugs. “She probably already knows, though? I don’t know. You can ask her for Sooyoung’s sched and find a time to lowkey ambush her or something.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good way to set the mood.”

“I don’t think you have any other choice,” Yerim tells her. “I mean you can ask Hyej—“

“— _No_ ,” Jiwoo automatically replies. Hyejoo and Sooyoung were stepsisters and on the same team and was Jiwoo’s friend. It didn’t seem right to randomly involve Hyejoo, whereas Heejin probably knew something and wouldn’t be caught in between Jiwoo and Sooyoung.

Jiwoo is running out of options. She goes to Heejin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are leading up to an intense next chapter like chapter 15 will SNAG YOUR WIGS 
> 
> a lot of u are rlly curious about heejin which is SMART and aww i feel bad for yoerry too ;'''' we'll see we'll see 
> 
> next chapter will also introduce haseul...and why she was gone,,,, and drAMA big big DRAMA 
> 
> as always let me know ur thots!!! ill be replying to ur comments later but wanted to get this chapter out there


	15. fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> right 3 updates...GET READY FOLKS STRAP IN LMAO

Catching Heejin isn’t as hard as Jiwoo thought it would be. After yet another awkward practice, in which Jiwoo manages to escape doing mats, and fails to catch Sooyoung again, who just leaves the moment practice ends, Jiwoo is able to get Heejin just as Heejin’s about to leave the locker room.

Heejin gives her an easygoing smile. “Jiwoo, hey.”

Jiwoo’s mouth is dry, and her throat kind of feels choked up, but she manages to get herself to talk. “Uh, hi.”

“What’s up?” Heejin furrows her eyebrows. “Is everything alright?”

“I just…you need to promise not to tell _anyone_ ,” Jiwoo whispers to her.

Heejin doesn’t look surprised at all by the sudden request. In fact, her face is schooled into her usual unreadable friendly expression. “Sure.”

“No, I _really_ mean it. _No one_.”

“Okay. If we’re being honest, I tell Hyunjin everything though, just so you know.”

“I—“ Jiwoo thinks about it. Hyunjin knowing…the older doesn’t seem like the type to engage in drama or to be interested in it. “Okay, _fine_. But _just_ Hyunjin.”

“Alright. What is it?”

“I…” She gulps. “I need to know Sooyoung’s sched.”

Heejin raises an eyebrow. “I’d ask why, but…” She shrugs. “I’m not one to play dumb.”

Jiwoo doesn’t know what to reply. She’d expected Heejin to ask her to explain herself and the request. Instead, Heejin gives her Sooyoung’s schedule. “There. Goodluck, you’re gonna need it,” is all Heejin says as Hyunjin appears to pick her up.

“…thanks,” Jiwoo says, watching the two girls walk away.

//

Jiwoo takes a deep breath as she steels herself by Sooyoung’s car. She gets dismissed earlier than Sooyoung on Thursdays, and also knows that Hyejoo won’t be driven by Sooyoung home, because she’d left an hour earlier to hang at Chaewon’s house with Yerim and Jungeun.

There was no practice today. It felt like the right time, even if she didn’t feel prepared or particularly ready. If Jiwoo’s going to be honest, she just wants to be able to sleep peacefully again.

Sooyoung exits the school a few minutes after the bell rings, and she’s too busy scrolling on her phone as she walks toward her car, that she doesn’t realize Jiwoo’s there waiting for her, which is something Jiwoo’s a little grateful for. She’s pretty sure that Sooyoung would have found some reason to turn around and stay inside the building instead of go to her car if she’d seen Jiwoo near it.

“Sooyoung,” Jiwoo says, softly, nervously, maybe a little desperately.

Sooyoung looks up from her phone, a little startled, but she calms down quickly enough. She pockets her phone and takes out her keys. She doesn’t look at Jiwoo. “Do you need something?”

Was she really not even going to spare Jiwoo a glance?

“Can we—uh, can we like—can we talk?”

Sooyoung unlocks her car. “I’m busy.” She’s about to go inside, but out of nowhere, Jiwoo finds herself reaching a hand out to grasp her jacket and keep her in place. Sooyoung whips her head and faces Jiwoo, narrowing her eyes. “Let go of me, Jiwoo.”

Jiwoo swallows, and tries not to crack. “I will…I just— _please_. Can we talk?”

“I,” The older girl stiffly replies. “Already. Said. I. Was. Busy.”

“ _Please_.”

They stare at each other, an unspoken challenge between them: Jiwoo begging, Sooyoung resisting.

Much to Jiwoo’s surprise, it’s Sooyoung that gives in. She closes the car door with a slam, and crosses her arms. “Fine. You have five minutes. What is it?”

Suddenly, all the exhaustion Jiwoo’s been feeling overtakes her. She slumps her shoulders. She doesn’t want to play dumb anymore. “You know what,” she softly replies.

Sooyoung grits her teeth. “Fine. Yes, I do.” Her voice is strained. “Honestly, that was…a misdemeanour on my part. I should _not_ have…done _that_. I’m sorry. It was unprofessional. It won’t happen again.”

It’s practiced, and impersonal, and Jiwoo feels half shameful for being so affected by the kiss if Sooyoung is so distant from it, and also half annoyed that all of what she’s been feeling has just been brushed off so casually.

“I didn’t come here for your apology,” she replies. “I…” She doesn’t really know what she’s here for. Not really.

“ _What_?”

“Wait. I’m trying to—I’m just, I don’t need you to say sorry.”

“What do you want then? What do I have to give you for you to stop this whole kicked puppy thing?” 

Jiwoo furrows her eyebrows at Sooyoung’s cruel comment.

“ _Excuse me?”_ She sputters.

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “Your whole kicked puppy dog act. Come _on_ , you think I don’t notice it? Do you think I’m dumb? You look at me like I killed your hamster.”

“ _My kicked puppy dog act_?” Jiwoo glares at her. “And you? What about _your_ whole running away with your tail between your legs?”

Sooyoung doesn’t say anything, but her face hardens, and her lip twitches.

“ _You’re the one who kissed me_ ,” Jiwoo hisses under her breath, not wanting to draw attention to them. “ _You’re the one who ran away_.”

“And I’ve already apologized for that,” Sooyoung replies through gritted teeth, her eyes sharp, her tone annoyed. “But here you are saying you don’t want that. What do you want then?”

“I—“ Jiwoo blinks, too angry, and too upset, and too confused to really come up with anything.

“—That’s what I thought. You don’t know what you want. You know what I want?” Sooyoung asks, stepping closer to her. She leans her face in. “I want to go home, and forget about this weird confrontation of yours.” She takes a step back. “We’re done, are we clear? We’re leaving it behind us.”

Jiwoo doesn’t reply. Instead, she roughly grabs Sooyoung, pushes her against the car, and kisses her.

Their teeth clash together because Jiwoo’s still inexperienced, and she hadn’t really aimed that well, but she ignores it as she kisses Sooyoung with the force of all the confusion, anger, and desperation she’s been feeling. She’s angry with her—angry that she’s so pretty, and talented, and cold, and _mean_.

Sooyoung kisses her back, and Jiwoo uses that as an opportunity to bring her hands up and grab roughly at the older girl’s hair. This earns her that _low_ sound Sooyoung makes in her throat. The one she’s been dreaming about.

Sooyoung grips Jiwoo’s waist, and surprisingly pulls her closer, eliminating whatever space there was between them, and Jiwoo pulls back a little for air, but Sooyoung chases after her mouth, crashing their lips together not soon after. When Jiwoo moans, Sooyoung inserts her tongue, and that _taste—_ green apples—and her lips—they’re so soft—it sparks something inside of Jiwoo.

They keep kissing, until Sooyoung pulls back, her eyes looking a little hooded. She opens the back of her car door, grabs Jiwoo’s hand, and pulls them both inside the car.

“Don’t want anyone to see,” she mumbles against Jiwoo’s lips as she kisses her again, “what I’m about to do to you.”

Jiwoo settles on her lap, wrapping her arms around Sooyoung’s neck, the cramped space of the car really making parts of them touch, making the hair on the back of her neck rise. She wastes no time in eagerly kissing Sooyoung back, her tongue clumsily fighting for dominance with the older girl’s more experienced member.

Sooyoung’s hands go to her thighs, the skin on skin contact making Jiwoo let out an airy moan, that makes Sooyoung smile against her lips. The older girl’s hand start to go higher, and it overwhelms Jiwoo—all of it—so she pulls back from the kiss. Sooyoung doesn’t stop kissing her though, she kisses her jaw, and then the back of her ear, and she slowly trails down to Jiwoo’s neck while her hands start to inch toward Jiwoo’s inner thighs.

Jiwoo can’t stop herself from the breathy moans she lets out, and from grinding into Sooyoung’s lap.

“ _Please_ ,” is all she can say.

“I’ve got you, baby, don’t worry,” Sooyoung whispers against her neck before nipping at the skin there.

“ _Oh_.”

Sooyoung doesn’t waste any time, while her right hand stays, gripping Jiwoo’s inner thigh, her left hand comes up to grope at Jiwoo’s breast through her thin shirt. Jiwoo’s breath hitches, and she feels her nipples stiffen and strain against her bra and shirt. She pushes her chest more into Sooyoung, who palms her breast expertly, massaging it through the thin shirt, and pinching her nipple.

“ _Sooyoung_ ,” she whines, grounding her hips down, searching for friction.

The older girl starts to bite her neck a bit roughly, and her left hand lets go of her breast to go under her shirt.

She’s pretty sure Sooyoung’s right hand was near her underwear, when an unfamiliar ring tone suddenly fills the car, and the vibrating in Sooyoung’s jeans makes it obvious it’s her phone.

She stops kissing Jiwoo’s neck, and grabs her phone, while Jiwoo sort of sits on top of her, eyes glazed, and wound up.

“ _Yes_?” Sooyoung snaps. “What?”

Jiwoo can hear Jinsol’s voice. “Emergency meeting. Are you still in school?”

“ _Fuck me_. Yes. I am. What’s it about?”

“Haseul…and Eunbi. You should be here. Heejin and Hyunjin are here.”

Something in the older girl’s face changes the moment she hears Haseul’s name. “Fuck, fine. I’m on the way.”

Sooyoung ends the call. Jiwoo just stares at her swollen lips and messed up hair. She can’t believe she did _that_ to the older girl.

“Jiwoo, I have a meeting,” Sooyoung calmly tells her, but if Jiwoo wasn’t half as dazed as she was, she’d say Sooyoung almost sounded disappointed.

“Oh.” Jiwoo doesn’t really know what to say, what to do.

“Can you…?” Sooyoung motions to her lap.

“Yeah, of course, sorry!” Jiwoo squeaks out, opening the car door, and getting off Sooyoung’s lap.

The captain slides out of the car, closes the door, and locks it.

They both just stare at each other for a long time. Sooyoung’s gaze is heavy as always. “Listen, I…we’ll talk about this next time, okay? I have to go.”

Jiwoo just nods, doesn’t say anything, unsure of how she feels.

Sooyoung looks like she kind of wants to say more, but her phone pings from a message—probably from Jinsol or Heejin—so she doesn’t. Instead, she hesitantly takes Jiwoo’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “I promise we’ll talk.” And then, she’s walking away.

Jiwoo watches and thinks about the aftertaste of confusion and green apples left behind.

//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello...are u alive...thoughts please...my brain is fried from writing that btw
> 
> also shit's bout to go down ANY THEORIES AT ALL about haseul 0-0 and.....is sooyoung gonna reach out or nah what do we thINK


	16. sixteen

Jiwoo doesn’t tell Jungeun or Yerim, because she can’t believe it herself. Once she gets home later that day, she throws herself into schoolwork, and pretends that _everything’s completely normal_ and that she was _not,_ just hours ago, about to let her captain _finger her_ in the back of some sports car, when she’s never even had a boyfriend or thought about having a girlfriend or gone on a _date_.

She feels her face burn as she considers the fact that Sooyoung might think _she’s easy_ _,_ because it doesn’t take a genius to figure out she’s blatantly inexperienced.

Not that Jiwoo should care if Sooyoung thinks of her that way, or if Sooyoung thinks of her at all.

She shakes her head, and tries to clear her mind of it. When she sleeps, she dreams of long pale fingers, and low moans.

//

When tomorrow comes, Jiwoo is as unexcited as everyone else is excited about the fact that it’s Friday. She has training today. She’s seeing Sooyoung today.

Sooyoung might talk to her today.

Jiwoo’s starting to realize that talking with the older girl has yet to yield helpful results when it comes to easing her confusing thoughts and feelings. In fact, the captain has this amazing ability of making it all even _more_ confusing.

Jiwoo doesn’t really know what to expect of today.

Jungeun, as usual, meets her by her locker. “Guess what?”

“Hm?” Jiwoo asks, half-listening.

“I saw Yerim and Yeojin talking earlier.” Jungeun looks pleased. “I hope they fixed things.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo replies half heartedly. “Me too.”

She doesn’t know if she’s talking about them or her and Sooyoung.

//

Sooyoung doesn’t reach out to her at all, but she probably just has classes. Jiwoo can’t help but feel nervous for lunch time. As Jungeun, Hyejoo, Chaewon, and her walk inside the cafeteria, her eyes automatically lock on the cheer team’s usual table.

Sooyoung is there, with her usual almost empty tray of food, talking with Heejin about something. Their expressions look serious, and this time, even Hyunjin, Jinsol, Yeri, and Joy have serious expressions as they listen in.

Hyejoo realizes where she’s looking.

“They’re having issues,” she simply says. “Don’t tell anyone I told you, though.”

“Huh?” Chaewon asks. “About what?”

“I overheard Sooyoung on the phone last night. She was talking to Haseul,” Hyejoo mutters under her breath.

“Oh,” Chaewon says, as if she understands.

Jiwoo doesn’t, but she’s not one to pry. Hyejoo shakes her head. “I hope they fix things,” is all Jiwoo says.

Hyejoo shrugs. “They will. Sooyoung always fixes what she has to.”

Sooyoung doesn’t look her way once, engaged in a serious conversation for the whole lunch period. This time, Jiwoo doesn’t hold it against her at all.

//

Yerim and Yeojin don’t eat with them, but Yerim does send Jiwoo a text.

_omg good news. will tell u later in cheer. love u_.

Jiwoo just smiles and sends a heart back.

//

Practice is tense. Sooyoung, Heejin, Jinsol, Yeri, Joy, and Hyunjin all look really serious, moreso than usual, and even during the break time, they huddle together and talk amongst themselves. Joy, Yeri, and Jinsol don’t even make any jokes, like _none_ at all.

Everyone does their best, and nobody messes up, much to Jiwoo’s relief. She’s pretty sure everyone’s feeling on the edge today.

Once practice ends, Yerim talks to Jiwoo in the locker room.

“So, anyway, she approached me and said sorry,” Yerim says. “She says she just needed to clear her head to get over me.”

“ _Is_ she over you? I mean, that’s kinda quick,” Jiwoo replies.

Yerim nods. “That’s exactly what I said. She did admit that, you know, she still wasn’t, but she said she missed me more than that and valued our friendship more than her feelings. She promised that things would be okay now.”

“Aw.” Jiwoo hugs her, extremely happy for Yerim. “I’m happy for you.”

Yerim beams at her, sunshine and cherry fruits in the summer. “Thanks, Jiwoo.” She looks around then, and lowers her voice. “What about you? How are things with…”

“I…” Jiwoo trails off. She doesn’t really know how to say all of it. Not yet. “It got even _more_ confusing? I don’t know. I’ll let you know once I’ve figured it out.”

“Okay,” Yerim says with a soft expression. “I hope things work out.”

“Yeah, me too.”

//

Sooyoung doesn’t reach out the whole day. Jiwoo even waits a bit by the parking lot, but Hyejoo is the one that waves at her, while Sooyoung just gives her a blank look. It isn’t as hostile as before, but Jiwoo can’t hold it against the older girl. She genuinely looks stressed out and tired.

Jiwoo goes home, feeling more and more disappointed.

//

Sooyoung doesn’t reach out on Saturday too, not that she’d expected the older girl too anyways. Jiwoo pretends it doesn’t bother or that she’s not worried.

//

On Sunday, Jiwoo receives a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?” She answers, groggy and tired, having just woken up. She looks at the clock. It’s 8 am on a Sunday. Who would even be—

“Jiwoo, it’s Sooyoung.”

_Oh._

“I would have talked to you sooner, but some things came up.”

Jiwoo’s brain short circuits.

“Hello? Jiwoo? Are you there?”

Her mouth is dry, but after internally screaming for a minute or so, she finally replies. “…yeah, sorry. I just woke up.” _You woke me up_ , she doesn’t say.

“Oh, sorry about that.”

“Where…uh…huh…where did you get my number?”

A pause. Sooyoung’s voice sounds a little sheepish once she replies. “I asked Hyejoo.”

“Ah, okay.”

“I hope that’s alright.”

“Uh, yeah! Yeah, that’s more…that’s okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

An awkward silence befalls them.

Sooyoung is the one to break it. “Listen, I was thinking I could pick you up today? So we can talk somewhere?”

“Uh,” is all Jiwoo can say.

“I mean not _now_. But maybe lunch time? I can pick you up, just send me your address. I just prefer to talk in person.”

“O-okay.”

“Okay. Good. I’ll see you at 11:30?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. See you.”

“Yeah…you too.”

Sooyoung hangs up, and Jiwoo stares at her phone for a few minutes before sending her address with shaking fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> could that be...sooyoung...being....not emotionally dead on the inside? what do u guys think is about to go down? and i see a lot of curious abt the head cheerleaders
> 
> rightfully so 
> 
> as for haseul, let's just say she and sooyoung were very close,,,, but whether it was romantic or not, I SHALL WITHHOLD THAT INFO


	17. seventeen

At exactly 11:30, the doorbell to Jiwoo’s house rings, and Jiwoo startles her mom by hurtling down the stairs.

“I’ll be back,” is all she says, as she opens the door, and comes face to face with Sooyoung.

They stare at each other for a bit, which seems to be their whole _trademark_ , and Jiwoo wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“Hi,” Sooyoung says. She isn’t smiling, but she doesn’t look nearly half as angry or cold as she has been for the past few weeks. She’s wearing a black sleeveless turtleneck, tucked into light jeans, with some sort of stylish white rubber shoes.

“Uh, hey,” Jiwoo replies, a little self conscious. She’d opted for a sleeveless purple dress, and white sneakers. She doesn’t know if it’s enough to impress the older girl, _not_ that _that_ was her goal of course.

Neither of them say anything for awhile, as Jiwoo picks at the hem of her dress, and Sooyoung sort of does this quick _up-down_ look at her, which makes Jiwoo blush, and she tells herself she should ignore it.

After a while, Sooyoung clears her throat. “Right. My car’s there. Let’s…go?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jiwoo follows her, and tries not to watch the way her hips sway in those jeans.

//

Being inside the same car they had done shit in was really fucking awkward. Images of Sooyoung’s lips against her, breath against her neck, a hand on her inner thigh, and fingers tweaking at her nipple flash in Jiwoo’s mind, and she has to bite her lip, and keep her thighs shut as she looks outside the window.

The fact that Sooyoung doesn’t seem to be one for initiating conversations makes the silence inside the car almost unbearable. Jiwoo briefly wonders if the drive will be a long one, because if it is, she doesn’t think she’ll last.

“Where are we…going?” She hesitantly asks.

Sooyoung doesn’t look at her, focused on driving, but she does answer. “Yeri’s older sister, Joohyun, owns a really nice cafe that serves good food. It’s called Red Velvet. I thought it’d be nice to eat there.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“It is. Yeri brings Heejin, Hyunjin, Jinsol, Joy, and me there a lot.”

They fall quiet once more, but it’s a little less awkward.

“Do you mind if I…play a song?” Jiwoo asks, thinking the older girl will probably say no.

“Yeah, go ahead. The speakers are bluetooth,” Sooyoung easily replies.

Jiwoo fumbles a bit, still nervous, but she does connect her phone to the car. “Uh, do you…” She remembers how Hyejoo and Sooyoung had argued over what music to play. “Do you want any song to be played in particular?”

“I’m fine with anything, but,” Sooyoung shrugs. “I guess I like Tove Lo. Any song by her is good.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll uh play that then.”

“Hm,” is all Sooyoung says.

Jiwoo plays a song called _Disco Tits_ , and she sees Sooyoung smile, and hum along as it plays.

//

Red Velvet rests in one of the richer areas of their area, which explains why Jiwoo hasn’t really ever seen it or been there. It has it’s own parking space at the front of it, and as Sooyoung parks the car, Jiwoo can’t help but stare at the structure and how it’s designed: sleek, black and dark red colors blending, it looks more like a sleek lounge than a cafe.

Sooyoung kills the engine, gets her keys, and exits the car without another word. Jiwoo, startled by the girl, fumbles with her seatbelt, and when she finally manages to remove it, Sooyoung has walked over to her side and opened the door for her.

“Thanks,” Jiwoo mumbles.

Sooyoung doesn’t say anything and waits for her to exit before closing the door and locking the car.

//

The inside of the cafe matches the outside — red coloured velvet everything and black metal chairs. It’s all extremely sleek, cold, and not as homey as the places Jiwoo often preferred going to.

She looks around and sees a photo wall covered with drawings, and different photographs of people inside the cafe. She notices that some of the pictures show a bright and bubbly place, and others show a more rustic homey place.

“Red Velvet cafe has different concepts,” Sooyoung explains to her. “They change it every few years.”

_What’s their concept now? A vampire’s coffin?_

Sooyoung smiles. “No, I think they’re going for a modern look, Jiwoo.”

“I said that out loud.” Jiwoo’s face reddens at the realization.

Sooyoung nods with an amused look. “Yes, you did.” She starts walking toward one of the corner booths, away from the other patrons. “This is where we usually sit,” she says as Jiwoo follows her.

Sooyoung gracefully slides into the booth, and Jiwoo sits across her.

Now that they’re finally here, sitting face to face, Jiwoo feels ten times more nervous than before. She doesn’t know what’s going to happen, and seeing the older girl act so pleasant, or at least the older girl’s version of what _pleasant_ was, is throwing her off instead of making her feel more at ease.

Sooyoung seems to sense her discomfort. “Let’s order first. If that’s fine with you.”

Jiwoo picks at the menu’s edges. “Uh, yeah. Sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to say thank you for all your nice comments. I appreciate all of them. I haven't been able to reply and engage as much, but I really will soon ! yOUR COMMENTS LITERALLY give me life i dont think u guys know how validating and sweet it is to wake up and see people appreciate ur work, so thank u for taking the time to rlly type out your own theories and continously supporting me ! for my next chapter, which is a pretty big one, i want to give a shoutout in the notes part toward the readers who have really been commenting and encouraging me and making me smile (all of you do, but i just wanted to shout out some people), i think it's smthn i might start doing just to show how i feel so grateful that u guys rlly appreciate my work :)


	18. eighteen

The girl who comes to get their orders is _gorgeous_. Her eyes are doe-shaped, and her lips curve into that shape that suggests a perpetual smirk, and her skin is flawless. She doesn’t wear a name tag like the other servers, though.

The girl smiles at Sooyoung. “Sooyoung,” she greets her in a familiar manner.

“Joohyun, hey.” Sooyoung smiles at her, and this might be the first genuine smile Jiwoo’s ever seen on the captain’s face. She’d thought the sharp expression suited Sooyoung well—made her look beautiful and dangerous—but this gentle smile playing on her lips right now, reaching her eyes, _it’s so much better_.

“Who’s your friend? Finally got tired of my sister? I wouldn’t blame you,” Joohyun says with a glint in her eyes.

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “Yeri lives to test my limits everyday. I’m starting to wonder how you’re related.”

“Me too. Every time Joy sleeps over at our house, I’m reminded of how much trouble my sister can be. Especially around Joy.”

Sooyoung motions to Jiwoo. “This is Jiwoo. She’s on the team too.”

Joohyun smiles at her. It’s a bit reserved, but it’s kind and friendly. “Hello. I’m always happy to see a new face.”

Jiwoo smiles back, her signature smile—big and bright. “It’s really nice here. Sooyoung told me you guys redecorate every few years.”

“Yeah. It keeps everyone on their toes. It’s also really nice to keep it fresh. Anyways,” Joohyun takes out her small pad and pen. “Orders?”

Jiwoo…she’d looked at the prices, and everything was kind off really expensive, so she didn’t really know if she could even order that much. “I’ll…” she trails off, eyebrows scrunching at the overpriced items.

“I can suggest our most popular dishes if that helps,” Joohyun tells her.

“It’s _hah_ not that, I’m just…wow…” Jiwoo looks over the menu again, trying to find something cheap.

Sooyoung catches on. “Hey Joohyun, why don’t we have water first? Then we’ll get back to you.”

Joohyun nods and walks off. “Alright.”

“Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says when Joohyun’s out of earshot.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Just get whatever you want. I’m paying anyway.”

“ _What_? You don’t have to do that!” Jiwoo squeaks out.

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “I want to. Don’t argue with me. Just get whatever.”

Jiwoo opens her mouth to protest again, except Sooyoung sends her such a sharp look that she closes it. Never mind.

Joohyun comes back after awhile, serving them water and some tea, which she said was on the house. “So, your orders?”

Sooyoung looks at Jiwoo, and the younger girl can see the barely concealed threat: _You better order what you want_. It’s an act of kindness for sure, but why was the older girl so intimidating?

“I’ll…have the mushroom ravioli,” Jiwoo says. “With a slice of the strawberry cheesecake.”

Joohyun smiles. “Can I interest you in our danish pastries? They’re _really_ good too.”

Jiwoo looks at Sooyoung, who nods at her. “Sure,” Jiwoo says. “Thank you.”

“No problem. How about you, Soo?”

“I’m fine,” Sooyoung says.

Joohyun’s smile drops a little, and there’s this look on her face that, if Jiwoo were to guess, was akin to worry. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, you know me.”

“How about dessert at least?”

Sooyoung shakes her head. “I’m fine.”

“Come on,” Joohyun insists. “We have this new triple threat chocolate cake with a spike of caffeine. You’ll love it.”

Sooyoung stares at Joohyun with a less than pleased expression. “Fine, okay.”

Joohyun smiles. “Good. Drinks?”

“Strawberry milkshake,” Sooyoung says.

“Uh, vanilla milkshake,” Jiwoo replies.

“Okay. Sounds great. I’ll be back with your orders in awhile.”

Once Joohyun leaves, Jiwoo is back at looking everywhere _but_ at Sooyoung. The air feels heavy, now that the next thing on their agenda is to actually _talk_ , which they’ve never really done. They were barely what you would even call friends.

Sooyoung clears her throat. “You kissed me.”

It’s blunt, and straightforward, and Jiwoo most definitely can prove that one can choke on air, because that’s what she was currently doing.

“Are you okay…?”

Jiwoo coughs a bit more, before taking a sip of water. “…yeah, sorry. You caught me by surprise.”

“Sorry. I didn’t know how to start.”

“Well, _not_ like that…”

“There isn’t really a handbook for things like this,” Sooyoung replies. “I just thought it’d be better to put it out there.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Jiwoo sighs. “I kissed you, but you kissed me first.”

“I did. I don’t deny that. I’ve apologized.”

“Like I told you, I…I didn’t need you to say sorry _about_ the kiss.”

Sooyoung tilts her head to the side. “Then what did you want from me that day?”

“I…” Jiwoo’s still not so sure. “I just…I don’t know. I just knew I had to talk to you or something. Things were weird, okay? _You_ were acting weird.”

The older girl raises an eyebrow. “ _I_ was acting weird? I was being _professional_. We don’t even _know_ each other.” She scoffs. “What did you expect? I’d what? Just start being all lovey dovey or something cause we kissed at a slumber party and then in the gym? I treated you the way I treated everyone else.”

“Okay, fine granted, you were normal at first, but don’t even…don’t lie about being weird after the second kiss. You were—you were avoiding me.”

“…fine. Fair enough. I was.”

“ _Why_?” Jiwoo scrunches her eyebrows. “You _left_ me in the gym, Sooyoung, and then you ran away.”

Sooyoung’s eyebrow twitches. “I didn’t run away. I just couldn’t be bothered to deal with it.” _Well, that stings_ , Jiwoo thought. “I made a mistake, I knew that, but I had other things to think about: the team, the season, _school_. I was surprised in myself, that I would do something like that, but at the same time I knew I had other things to deal with.”

Jiwoo doesn’t answer, a little hurt.

“You kissed me the third time, though,” Sooyoung says after a while.

Jiwoo gets a bit defensive. “You were gonna leave me again! I didn’t know what else to do. I was desperate, okay? I was scared, confused, and…frustrated. So I just kissed you.” Her tone turns accusatory. “You kissed me back.”

“I did,” Sooyoung easily agrees.

“Why?”

She shrugs. “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Uh, you just called the kiss in the gym a mistake, Sooyoung. Wouldn’t that mean that you regretted kissing me and should’t have kissed me back when I kissed you?”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “So, what? You want me to not kiss you back? _Please_. For the record, I meant that it was a mistake I kissed you _there_ , not that I kissed you in general.”

“And you—“ Jiwoo stops as she registers what Sooyoung had just said. “You _what_?”

“What? I wanted to kiss you, I just meant that I shouldn’t have kissed you after training that day while you were doing mats.”

“Y-you… _wanted…_ what?”

“Please, keep up.”

“You,” Jiwoo points at her. “Are fine with kissing,” she points at herself. “Me.”

“Yes,” Sooyoung says, exasperated. “ _Obviously_.”

“Oh.”

“Hm.”

“ _Oh_.” Jiwoo tries to get her brain to work. “So what now?”

Sooyoung shrugs. “They’re just kisses, Jiwoo. They don’t have to be taken apart. When you want to kiss someone, and they want to kiss you back, just do it and don’t think about it.”

“Right…” Jiwoo trails off, unsure of what to reply.

“There doesn’t have to be a _so what now_ , do you understand? I didn’t bring you here to talk about a _so what now_ , I just wanted us to clarify things and put our weird animosity behind us. I’m still your captain, and you’re a member of the team. We have to be on good terms,” Sooyoung explains matter-of-factly.

“Uh huh…”

“What is it now?”

Jiwoo looks down. “Nothing.”

“You’re doing the kicked puppy act again, though.”

Jiwoo pouts. “No, I’m not! Stop saying that.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “Yes, you are, now just spit it out whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

Jiwoo crosses her arms. “I don’t know, okay? Like, I’ve never really kissed people—“

“—I noticed.”

“Hey!” Jiwoo exclaims, indignant and a bit ashamed.

Sooyoung gives her a small smile. “It’s not an insult. Go ahead.”

“—fine. Anyways, I don’t know. I guess maybe you’re used to this, but I’m not, okay? And I was just confused, but I guess I get it now.”

“Get that?”

“Like you said, we’re gonna put this behind us,” Jiwoo says. “And no more kissing.”

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t say no more kissing.”

Jiwoo’s eyes widen. “ _What_?”

“I didn’t say no more kissing,” the captain repeats. “I just meant no more animosity and weirdness.”

“What does that even mean?”

Sooyoung looks at her, and Jiwoo’s still kind of avoiding her gaze. “Jiwoo, can you look at me.” Jiwoo doesn’t follow at first. “Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says again.

“Fine.” Jiwoo meets her gaze. And there—the same heavy gaze Sooyoung’s been giving her since the slumber party.

“What I mean is that,” Sooyoung says, not breaking eye contact. “I have an idea.”

Jiwoo’s mouth goes dry.

//

Jiwoo says yes.

She can’t think of a universe where she would have said _no_.

//

When Joohyun arrives with their food, the silence between the two of them seems heavier than it ever has been. Joohyun doesn’t seem to catch on, or at least pretends not to, as she just smiles at them and tells them that she hopes they enjoy their meals.

The food is _really_ good that Jiwoo thinks she can justify why it’s so expensive. She lets the food comfort her for a bit, getting lost in it, and just eating until she finishes her meal and two desserts. Sooyoung doesn’t try to talk to her either. Maybe they both need a break.

When Jiwoo’s finished, she notices that Sooyoung’s only eaten _half_ of her cake. She furrows her eyebrows at the strange pattern she’s noticed since she’s met the older girl. She barely ever sees her eat, and when she does her portions are _so_ small. Jiwoo can’t fathom how she does it.

“Are you done?” Sooyoung asks, just staring at her.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks…I can wait for you to finish.”

The captain shakes her head. “I’m good. I’ll get it wrapped and give it to Hyejoo.”

“Oh. Aren’t you…uh…hungry?” Jiwoo hesitantly asks, not sure if she’s really allowed to.

Sooyoung shrugs. “I ate before we went here.” She raises her hand, and Joohyun walks toward them. “Can we have this wrapped, Joohyunnie? And the bill also.”

Joohyun looks at the half eaten cake and gives her a disapproving look. “Sure,” she says, taking everything.

‘If she owns the place, why is she…?”

Sooyoung’s expression turns fond. “She’s very hands on with the business.”

Joohyun returns after a while with the bill and the takeout box, and Sooyoung easily slides out a couple of hundreds into the bill.

“Don’t tip me,” Joohyun tells her.

“But I always do.”

“And I always say, you don’t _have_ to.”

Sooyoung gives her a playful wink, which is something Jiwoo’s never seen happen—the older girl has never been this jovial or playful amidst the team, maybe with the older members of the team in private, but not as a whole collective. “I want to.”

Joohyun rolls her eyes. “Stop doing that. Seulgi’s gonna get jealous _again_.”

“Alright, alright. We’ll get going now. Thanks for everything, Joohyun.” Sooyoung slides out of the booth.

“Thank you,” Jiwoo says as well, bowing.

Joohyun smiles at her. “Anytime. See you and your friend around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi everyone sorry i'm still doing college stuff :> but anyway here's a longer update !
> 
> shout out to: 
> 
> tbeh  
> kjiwooist  
> chuuves  
> purplepanther_09  
> Dissapointedsounds  
> heejination  
> yvesningstar  
> redpekoe  
> weewoo  
> vivisjohayo  
> Snitchhazel570  
> jintomiyx  
> fadedmomo
> 
> there are more, which i'll be shout-outing in future chapters
> 
> just wanted to say that even if i don't get to reply, i read EVERY single comment and im so happy u guys theorize or react, because it rlly makes me feel energized to keep writing
> 
> as always, let me know what u think!


	19. nineteen

Sooyoung opens the door for Jiwoo as they exit the cafe, and she opens the car door as well.

“Thanks,” Jiwoo mumbles as she gets in.

The drive back is just as heavy and awkward as drive getting there, but it’s a different type of heavy. “You can play a song again,” Sooyoung lets her know without looking at her.

“Oh, thanks.” Jiwoo turns on her Bluetooth and connects her phone to the car. She plays one of her favourite songs, _Heart Attack._

Sooyoung scrunches her nose. “I didn’t know you liked K-Pop.”

Jiwoo suddenly gets defensive. “It’s really good.”

“…uh-huh.”

“Are you telling me you don’t like K-Pop?”

“Not that I don’t like it. It’s just,” Sooyoung shrugs. “Okay, fine. I’m not a fan. They’re all just the same.”

“ _No_ , take that back!”

“They’re all just electro-pop or whatever.”

Jiwoo immediately plays a ballad. “No, they’re not. Listen to this one. It’s called Downpour, and if you don’t cry, you’re a monster.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes, but she listens anyway.

//

They spend the rest of their drive in relative silence, with Sooyoung sometimes agreeing to some of Jiwoo’s favourite K-pop songs, as well as telling Jiwoo to play some of her favourite songs from Ariana Grande, SZA, and Kehlani.

Once they reach Jiwoo’s house, Sooyoung stops the car, and turns to face her. “We’re good. Right?”

Jiwoo bites her lip, still staring ahead. “Uh, yeah. Of course.”

“Good.”

She still doesn’t turn to face Sooyoung as she unbuckles her seatbelt.

“Jiwoo, can you look at me.”

Jiwoo really doesn’t want to. She always gets too nervous and thrown off, and they’re in _the car_.

“Come on,” Sooyoung says. Her tone is soft, but Jiwoo can hear the command in it.

She turns to face her.

“You can still back out, if you want,” Sooyoung seriously tells her.

Jiwoo blushes and shakes her head. “No, no. It’s fine.”

“Are you _sure_? I don’t want you to agree just because I’m your captain, Jiwoo.”

“No, it’s not that. I…I _want_ it anyways.”

Sooyoung smiles at her. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Jiwoo repeats, just staring at her.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Sooyoung says matter-of-factly, before leaning in.

Jiwoo’s eyes flutter close the moment the older girl’s hand comes into contact with her cheek, and their lips touch. The kiss isn’t as aggressive as their other kisses, maybe because this one’s _allowed_ , but Sooyoung still manages to nip at her bottom lip just the way Jiwoo likes it, and when she moans, she already knows Sooyoung’s tongue is going to enter her mouth and dance with hers. They kiss comfortably for around a minute or so, before Sooyoung finally pulls away, leaving Jiwoo’s face completely red.

“I’ll see you in school tomorrow,” Sooyoung says.

Jiwoo just blinks for awhile at her. “…Yeah. See you.”

“Are you…going to get out?” Sooyoung raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah! Yeah. Okay, bye.” Jiwoo opens the door and scrambles out. She walks up to her front door and only when she gets in does she hear Sooyoung drive off.

//

Her dad makes her promise that she’s not seeing some random old rich man.

“Of course not! Dad!”

He shakes his head. “I’m just saying. That car was an expensive car. Jiwoo, your mother and I will always provide whatever you—“

Her face reddens. “—I don’t have a sugar daddy! And if I did, I’d have one at eighteen, and it’d be fine, _okay_?”

He laughs. “Okay, okay.”

//

Jiwoo doesn’t know why she’s overthinking it so hard as she stares at the text message she’s drafted.

_Thanks for today. See you tomorrow._

She wants to send it.

//

She doesn’t.

//

That night, it’s the same dream that plagues her head, except it isn’t scary or confusing—it’s chaste, maybe a little shy, and definitely tastes of green apples.

//

“Oh wow, look at you, all smiley and shit,” Jungeun teases her as they wait for the school bell to signal the start of classes.

Jiwoo smiles at her. “Today feels like it’s gonna be a good day.”

“Anything I should know?”

Jiwoo shrugs. “Maybe.”

Jungeun rolls her eyes. “I don’t deserver this.”

They continue their back and forth banter, until the bell rings, and they go their separate ways in class. In class, Jiwoo absentmindedly listens to her teacher, and for once, doesn’t feel anxious for practice, or anything. She feels as if she kind of knows what’s happening, doesn’t feel as blindsided as she was before.

It feels like a breath of fresh air.

//

At lunch, Yeojin finally joins them again, and officially gets introduced to Hyejoo and Chaewon.

Yerim beams as she proudly tells them, “This is my best friend Yeojin!” And Yeojin blushes a deep maroon, telling her to shut up.

It genuinely makes Jiwoo’s heart light. She had _missed_ Yeojin, for sure, they’d become friends thanks to Yerim, but more than that, she had missed seeing Yerim _happy_. Jungeun always told Jiwoo she thought Jiwoo never deserved to be sad, because her smiles were so bright they lit up the world, but Jiwoo doesn’t think of herself like that. The person Jiwoo thinks of when she thinks of sunshine smiles and bright days is Yerim. It feels good to see Yerim like that again: _happy_ without worry flashing behind her eyes, like something was always bothering her.

“I swear to God, you always find a way—“ Yeojin says, but Yerim interrupts her.

“—it’s really not my fault.” Yerim pouts. “Your grandfather makes the best dumplings.”

“Yes, and that doesn’t excuse you stealing them from me and giving them away to _everyone_ Yerim.”

“To be fair, they taste good,” Hyejoo pipes up, as she stuffs another one in her mouth.

Yerim nods profusely at Yeojin. “See? I just wanted to make everyone happy.”

“At the expense of my lunch…” Yeojin trails off. “HEY! JIWOO!”

Jiwoo drops the dumpling, feeling a little guilty. She was pretty sure she’d eaten more than Hyejoo and Yerim combined. “Sorry,” she says with a smile that showed she wasn’t all that regretful. “They really are the best.”

Jungeun nods. “I wish you were my best friend instead, so I could get these all the time.”

“Hey!” Jiwoo exclaims, smacking her. “But yes, same. I’ll trade Jungeun for Yeojin.”

“But I just got her back,” Yerim whines, wrapping an arm around the younger girl.

Jiwoo’s too busy having fun with her friends for the first time in a long time, that she doesn’t remember to look for Sooyoung until she’s in line to buy dessert, and the girl sidles up next to her.

“Jiwoo,” is all the captain has to say to make the hairs on the back of the younger girl’s neck stand up.

Jiwoo immediately turns her head. “Oh! Hey!”

Sooyoung nods at her. “See you at practice later.”

It’s strangely out of the way, and not necessarily warm, especially with Sooyoung’s somewhat flat tone and blank expression, but it’s _something_. It’s Sooyoung extending an olive branch.

“Yeah…you too.” Jiwoo gives her a soft smile.

“Do well, today,” Sooyoung tells her.

Jiwoo nods. “Uh, yeah. I will.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

When Jiwoo’s paying for her ice cream, she can still feel Sooyoung’s gaze on her for some reason.

“Can I see you after practice?” Sooyoung asks in a low voice.

Jiwoo’s eyes widen, and she immediately turns red. “Uh…” _Was this about their arrangement thingy?_

“It’s okay, if you’re busy.”

“No!” She exclaims, and some people turn to look at them. “Sorry…” She lowers her voice. “I mean, _no_ it’s fine. I’m not busy.”

“Okay.” Sooyoung raises an eyebrow at her. “I’ll see you at the parking lot then. Hyejoo’s going to Chaewon’s house anyways.”

Jiwoo’s mouth is dry. “Yeah, sure.”

“Have a good day,” is all Sooyoung says before walking off towards her table.

Jiwoo’s head is still spinning when she sits with her friends again, and she can’t stop looking at Sooyoung nonchalantly chatting with Heejin and the others throughout lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to update twice today ! might update one last time it all depends on my sched :)
> 
> hope you like this one, esp since it's gonna be building up to the next chapter which............your wigs are not jus gonna be snatched but burned alive


	20. twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part one of the wig snatching chapter. third update bcos i love my children :( this is gonna split with chapter 21 so hehe

“Okay, spill,” Jungeun corners her when their math test ends early. “You’re acting really weird today. What’s up?”

“I’m _not_ ,” Jiwoo insists.

Jungeun rolls her eyes. “ _Please_ , you’ve spent the whole day in the best mood I’ve ever seen you in weeks.”

“I’m just _happy_. I’ve always kinda been like this.”

“Uh huh. This has nothing to do with Ha Sooyo—“

Jiwoo covers Jungeun’s mouth. “Can you be more discreet?”

Jungeun laughs as she swats Jiwoo’s hand away. “Okay, okay. So? Spill. What’s going on?”

“…it’s a lot. I don’t know where to start.”

“We have twenty minutes before we’re dismissed. Try me.”

“ _Fine_.” Jiwoo sighs. “Well, remember last Thursday?”

“Yeah, you were gonna talk to her.”

“Yeah, well. So much for _talking_.”

Jungeun laughs again. “Don’t tell me you backed out again?”

“No. Worse. Or…I don’t know.” Jiwoo huffs. “I kissed her.”

“You… _what_?”

Jiwoo buries her face behind her hands. “I _know_! I can’t believe I did that. Me! I’m not like that!”

Jungeun shrugs. “Eh, we wouldn’t know. You never really dated, so…”

_“Shut up_ ,” Jiwoo hisses under her breath.

“So you kissed her? And then?”

Jiwoo’s face reddens. “…she kissed me back, then, I don’t know. The next thing I remember is that we were just kind of making out in the backseat of her car.”

“Please, kill me,” Jungeun says as she starts to laugh uncontrollably. “Fuck my life. That’s such a wattpad thing to do.”

“I hate you, and I need a new best friend.”

“No, please.” Jungeun wipes at her nonexistent tears. “Continue.”

“…shut up first.”

“Fine, fine. Go on.”

“And then we got interrupted, so she had to leave, but,” Jiwoo lowers her voice. “She reached out to me.”

“Huh.”

“ _Yeah_ , she got my number from Hye, and she texted me. She wanted to meet up.”

“Like…on a date?”

Jiwoo blushes and shakes her head. “No, no! Like, just to talk. So, she picked me up—“

“—sounds like a date—“

“—it _wasn’t_. She picks me up on a Sunday afternoon. Who _does that_?”

“Couples who go on dates.”

“Jungeun, it wasn’t a date!”

“Things without context that would look like a date, a biography by Kim Jiwoo,” Jungeun says.

“Shut up.” Jiwoo pouts.

“Go on, please. This is making my day.”

“You’re annoying. I want Yeojin instead of you,” Jiwoo tells her.

“ _Please_ , you’d never replace me.”

“Fine. Okay, so she picks me up and she brings me to like, I think her favorite cafe, and Jungeun _stop making that face_ , it was _not a date_. We talked, and she just…” Jiwoo trails off. “Uh…she asked me if I wanted to…like I don’t know. Our talk was weird, but really honest? She’s really blunt, which I guess makes sense?”

“She ran away, though,” Jungeun points out.

“That’s what I thought too at first, but the more I thought about it and really analyzed stuff…I don’t think she was running away.” Jiwoo furrows her eyes. “I just don’t think she wanted to be bothered with it.”

“That sounds like the exact same thing.”

“No, running away would mean _she’s scared_ , Jungeun, but she wasn’t. I just…I don’t know. I think she didn’t think much of it, and then I made her think about it when I kissed her, and that’s why she was suddenly so forward.”

“I guess…that makes sense?” Jungeun shrugs. “I really don’t know anything about her. I wouldn’t know.

“Anyways, she then…like she asked me if I wanted to be—“

“—if you say girlfriend, I’m about to lose my shit laughing.”

“ _No!_ She asked me to like…be casual?” Jiwoo says.

“You don’t sound so sure about that.”

“No…like, she said that, she likes kissing me, then I said I liked kissing her too. Then, she was like, ‘so I have an idea. Why don’t we just do stuff together, but we don’t overthink it?’ Then, I mean…I _really_ like kissing her or whatever, so I went ‘okay’, and she said, ‘we don’t have to have sex’,” Jiwoo’s face has probably turned into a tomato, she’s sure of it, as she blushes profusely. “And my dumbass just went ‘no, it’s okay’, but she looked like she didn’t believe me anyways.”

“So, you’re fuck buddies, except she might not fuck you, because you’re a raging virgin,” Jungeun summarizes.

“Can you keep your voice down!” Jiwoo whisper-yells at her. “And then, that was it. She, like, paid for everything—”

“— _date,”_ Jungeun coughs out.

“And then she drove me… _Jungeun, I’m going to kill you_ …and then she drove me back. Andalsowekissedgoodbye.”

“What was that last part, again?” Jungeun teases her.

“We kissed. Goodbye,” Jiwoo replies through gritted teeth.

“That was a date.”

“It was _not_.”

“Even we don’t do that.”

“Hey, you drive me around!”

Jungeun makes a face. “Ew, but I don’t pay for your shit or kiss you goodbye.”

“Did you just _ew_ me? Ew _you_!”

//

Practice is interesting, for the lack of a better word. Sooyoung is her usual snappy self, all biting critiques and sharp gazes at the cheerleaders, while Heejin maintains her serious expression, occasionally saying good job to those who do well. The more Jiwoo is around the older girls, the more she gets why Heejin and Sooyoung work.

At first, she'd found their dynamic quite strange and thought that it was a little unfair. Sooyoung as a captain was such a domineering force that having anyone as her vice captain, would put that person at a disadvantage. It would be hard to compete with Sooyoung's aura.

But Heejin seems to find no visible struggle with it. She does what Sooyoung needs her to do, and does what she wants as well, without stepping on Sooyoung's toes. Sooyoung for her part seems to really really really take into account Heejin's opinions, even if they clashed with hers.

It was an interesting dynamic — on and off the field.

Sooyoung doesn't treat Jiwoo any differently. She's still quick to correct her when she makes mistakes, but her dark gazes have lessened, which Jiwoo counts as a win.

At some point, Heejin’s phone keeps ringing, and she has to take a break to answer it, and when she does, her face changes into one that’s almost unpleasant. She’s frowning and whispering very intensely into the phone.

“Soo,” she says, covering the phone’s mic. “Can you come here?”

Sooyoung nods. “Hyunjin, Jinsol, take over,” she tells them.

She walks over to Heejin, and this is about when Jiwoo stops focusing on practice to discreetly watch them. Sooyoung takes the phone, and her brow furrows, and she says something really quickly, while Heejin looks visibly upset—which, again, is strange. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Heejin have an expression so easily read. When the call ends, the two of them talk amongst themselves, motioning to the team now and again.

After a while, they manage to compose themselves and re-join the practice as if nothing happened at all.

//

After practice, in which everybody does surprisingly well, Heejin claps her hands to gain all their attention. "Everyone, please gather around, Sooyoung and me need to tell you guys something."

The girls quickly surround the two captains, and stand in attention.

"We're going to be having our first competition next week on Friday," Sooyoung announces. "It's not the biggest contest of the year, but we join it to warm up for the bigger competitions."

Heejin smirks. "We have a winning streak on it, and we don't like to lose."

"With that being said, we need you all to be in top physical shape. Eat healthy, sleep early, and take care of your body," Sooyoung orders. "Make sure you don't get injured."

"The routine we've been practicing is really good, so we should do really well." Heejin shrugs. "And this will be a great introduction for the freshies to the world of competitive cheer."

Sooyoung nods. "We'll be observing your performances. Like we said, two positions are still temporary as of now. If Eunbi and Haseul come back and are ready to rejoin the team, you will lose your position. Let's all do well." She claps her hands. "That's all."

They get dismissed and immediately start to whisper amongst themselves.

"Well," Yerim tells Jiwoo, "it's definitely not gonna be Hyejoo, Tzuyu, Ryujin, Yeji, or Chaeryeong. They're like crazy good."

Jiwoo groans. "It's kinda scary how you didn't include me there."

Yerim winks at her. "Humility is my favorite virtue. Especially in my friends."

The two of them shower and clean up, and when they're done, Yerim approaches Jiwoo one last time before she leaves on her hangout with Yeojin.

"Hey, how are things anyway? Did you talk things out?" she asks.

Jiwoo shrugs and then nods her head. "You can say that."

"Then I'm glad. See? Everything works out."

"...yeah, I guess it does."

Yerim hugs her goodbye before she skips off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love y'all......r u guys ready for the wig burning part two or........
> 
> also who was on the phone? what was being talked about? is heejin okay? will sooyoung ever be okay?  
> 0-0


	21. twenty one

Jiwoo is really nervous when she finally heads over to the parking lot, where she knows Sooyoung will probably be waiting for her inside her car — which is such a strange things to consider just last week or even last last week, the older girl wouldn't have spared her a glance, much less initiate a conversation. The world is mysterious, and Jiwoo is starting to learn that the things she usually knows may not always be what's true.

Just like Sooyoung said, Hyejoo isn't there, probably already off in Chaewon's house. Whenever the two girls hung out, Jiwoo noticed they never stayed to shower in the locker room, probably showering at Hyejoo's or Chaewon's place.

She reaches Sooyoung's car and sees the older girl already inside, but not in the front seat. In the backseat.

 _Okay_.

This was okay.

Jiwoo is okay.

Sooyoung gives her a small wave, and Jiwoo gulps as she opens the door and slips inside.

"Hey," The captain says. There's something different about her off the field, not softer, but maybe more human, like she isn't some entity that presides over Jiwoo's head.

"Hi," Jiwoo softly replies. She doesn't know why she's whispering if they're just inside the car, but something about this screams intimate, and she doesn't really want to shatter the illusion of whatever this was.

"You did well today," Sooyoung tells her.

"... Thanks."

"Your flips still need work, though. A lot of it."

"Oh," Jiwoo says. "Sorry."

"You can ask Yeji for help. She's really good," Sooyoung adds.

"Uh, okay." Were they really talking about cheer right now?

"Sorry, captain mode," Sooyoung says when Jiwoo stays quiet. "I forget to turn it off sometimes."

"That's, um, okay. I get it."

A silence falls on them, and Jiwoo can't help but look down, picking at her fingers. Only the sound of the car's airconditioner fills the space.

After a while, Sooyoung speaks up. "Jiwoo."

"Hm?"

"Look at me."

Jiwoo doesn't. Her heart feels like it's going to beat right out of her chest.

"Jiwoo," Sooyoung says a bit more sternly. "You know I don't like it when people don't look at me when I'm talking to them."

"... Sorry." Jiwoo finally looks up and meets her gaze.

The older girl looks calm, collected. Like what they're about to do or doing isn't weird or new to her. Did she do this often? Jiwoo wonders. Is she doing this now with others?

"I want to make sure you're comfortable. You look anxious," Sooyoung states.

That's because I am, Jiwoo doesn't say. "It's fine. Sorry. I just," she swallows. "I don't know how this works. Not really."

Sooyoung gaze softens in a way Jiwoo is unfamiliar with. "That's okay. I don't need you to be an expert at this."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah."

Sooyoung comes closer, shifting towards her, and it's probably best not to ask about Jiwoo's heart. "Jiwoo?"

Jiwoo just stares at her, wide eyed. "... Yeah?"

"I want to kiss you," Sooyoung says matter of factly. "I'm going to kiss you now."

Jiwoo just nods, not trusting her voice to work.

Sooyoung leans in, and Jiwoo's eyes flutter close when their lips touch. The kiss is just like the one from yesterday. Not rough or aggressive, probing maybe, curious in a way. Their lips move in sync, and Jiwoo, though probably not that good yet, is able to keep up with the pace as she kisses Sooyoung back.

The older girl places a hand on Jiwoo's face and strokes her cheek, igniting something in Jiwoo's stomach that she can't really explain.

Sooyoung pulls back, and Jiwoo chases after her lips, eyes still closed.

"Hm?" is all Jiwoo can say.

"Get on my lap," Sooyoung orders her.

Jiwoo blushes and complies. She can't think of a world where she wouldn't have. Once she's settled herself on Sooyoung's lap, the older girl wastes no time in diving back in, kissing her.

This kiss is more rough, and as Sooyoung nips at that spot Jiwoo is starting to learn she really really really likes, Jiwoo can't help gasping in delight. Sooyoung's tongue makes an entrance not short after, and then their tongues are dancing with each other to a rhythym that probably matched Jiwoo's beating heart.

Sooyoung's hands never remain idle, which is something Jiwoo is starting to catch on to as they roam up Jiwoo's thighs to rest on her hips, giving them a squeeze. The younger girl just moans, wrapping her arms around Sooyoung's neck and kind of tugging at her hair just like she did last time.

Sooyoung makes that low sound in the back of her throat that Jiwoo really really really likes hearing.

After a while of kissing, Jiwoo finally pulls back, desperate for air more than she is for kissing, but Sooyoung doesn't stop. She attacks Jiwoo's neck with open mouthed kisses that leave Jiwoo gasping on top of her. Sooyoung nips too at her neck, and trails her tongue from the bottom to the top.

Jiwoo grinds down on her, needing more, wanting more. "Sooyoung," she says.

Sooyoung doesn't reply, just keeps kissing her neck, but her hands answer Jiwoo's call. She doesn't play gentle this time, she just goes directly under Jiwoo's shirt, and touches her breasts. Sooyoung kneads them through her bra, and it's making Jiwoo grind on her more.

Everything feels so good.

Jiwoo feels so good.

"Uh... Mmm... Sooyo- there..." She's reduced to gasping mess, as the older girl goes under her bra, and comes into direct contact with her nipple.

Jiwoo has never been touched like this. She didn't know it would feel this good.

She moans, and Sooyoung finally disattaches from her neck and kisses her again. It's rough, and their teeth are clashing because Jiwoo can't keep up because of Sooyoung's fingers tweaking her sensitive nipples.

She starts grinding down harder, and at some point, she's finally able to handle the sensations a bit better, because her hands start moving on their own accord. She wants to touch Sooyoung too.

Sooyoung's hands have now left her breasts and settled on her thighs, squeezing them and running her nails through them. Jiwoo's hands on the other hand, tentatively, for the first time rests on Sooyoung's chest.

She's never touched Sooyoung like this. In fact, she's never touched anyone like this. She's hesitant and a bit tenative, but she massages Sooyoung's breast through her shirt, only then realizing that fuck, the older girl wasn't wearing a bra.

Sooyoung moans into her mouth — low and hungry.

Jiwoo tries to copy what Sooyoung did to her, albeit a bit more gently, and through the shirt. She doesn't know if she's brave enough yet, to go under the captain's shirt.

She gently pulls at Sooyoung's nipple, and the older girl moans into their kiss again, emboldening Jiwoo a bit more.

Jiwoo would have stayed like this if she could, but all of a sudden, Sooyoung stops. Jiwoo flutters her eyes open, confused and dazed. They're both breathing heavily.

"We should stop here," Sooyoung tells her in a strained voice.

Jiwoo is confused. "What? Why?" she's pretty sure she's whining, and it makes her feel shameful.

Sooyoung's dark eyes stare at her lips. "Because," she says very slowly. "I'm going to end up fucking you, and you're not ready for that... Yet."

Jiwoo's head feels cloudy at hearing the words 'fucking you' coming from Sooyoung's mouth.

"Oh," is all she can really say.

Sooyoung gives her a lopsided smile. "Yeah."

"Sorry," Jiwoo apologizes out of nowhere, suddenly feeling bad. "I'm... Not a very good fuck buddy."

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow and looks amused. "It's okay. Not now. We can keep kissing. I just don't want you to just give it away without thinking more about it. It can wait."

"...thanks."

"Hm," is all Sooyoung replies to her. "Anyways, you want to...?"

"Oh, right." Jiwoo hurriedly gets off her lap.

"I'll drive you home," Sooyoung says.

"You don't have to do that."

"We just made out in the back of my car cause I asked you to at lunch. I'm pretty sure it'd be a decent thing to drive you back home."

Jungeun had probably left, and Jiwoo really didn't wanna take the bus.

"Okay."

"Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted this on my phone so I hope the formatting is right hehe LOVE U ALL HERE U GO I HOPE THE WAIY WAS WORTH IT
> 
> TELL ME WHAT U THINK HEHSHEH


	22. twenty two

The drive is quiet at first, and as always, Sooyoung doesn't really initiate friendly conversation.

"Can I play music again?" Jiwoo shyly asks.

"Yeah. Go ahead."

"Uh, any requests?"

"I like Supermodel by SZA," Sooyoung tells her.

"You listen to a lot of Western music," Jiwoo points out.

Sooyoung nods. "I go to the states every summer. My... Mom's there. I also danced to a lot of Western music when I was doing hip hop."

"Oh," Jiwoo says, but she already knew about the hip hop part. Sooyoung was often featured in some teen magazines, and had done interviews after competitive cheer contests. She'd also mentioned it during their very first cheer meeting, that she'd given up hip hop and breakdancing for cheer.

Jiwoo plays Supermodel, and she has to admit, it's really nice. It kind of reminds her of Sooyoung in a way. The song.

"Do you miss your mom?" she suddenly asks.

She expects Sooyoung to rebut her question, but the older girl shrugs. "Maybe."

The conversation ends there, and soon they're at Jiwoo's house. When Sooyoung stops in front of it, they both turn to face each other.

"Thanks for the ride," Jiwoo says.

"No problem."

They just stare at each other for a bit.

"Can I—?" Jiwoo is about to ask, but she stops herself.

Sooyoung seems to get it. She leans in and kisses Jiwoo, and they kiss for a minute or so, before the older girl pulls back.

"See you tomorrow."

"...yeah. See you."

Jiwoo exits and her legs feel wobbly as she enters her house.

//

Jiwoo spends the whole night trying not to think about it, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t get random flashes of plump lips and low moans. It feels strange, she feels almost _needy_ for it, like, and Jungeun would never let her hear the end of it if she said this, like _h o r n y_ , which is such a cringe word to think, much less say.

She’d never been like this with _anyone_. She’d sort of always just been the preppy girl who was never troubled by romance or sex, or any of that stuff. It was Jungeun that kissed girls in the backseat of cars, it was Jungeun that did all that crazy casual shit. Not Jiwoo.

She sighs as she gets ready for bed, at least happy that she wasn’t as bothered as before.

//

The next few days pass by quite uneventfully, and nothing big happens in practice. Sooyoung doesn't really reach out to talk to her, but she isn't hostile either. Everything's just normal, which makes Jiwoo feel weird.

Her skin itches every time she sees Sooyoung.

She wants her to touch her and kiss her again. Jiwoo sighs. She can't believe she's actually become a horny teenager.

It's on Thursday — two days after their car make out — that Sooyoung texts her out of nowhere, and Jiwoo immediately checks her phone.

_Not that she'd been waiting for it._ Of course not.

**jiwoo**

_oh_

_hi :)_

**what time are u dismissed today**

_2:30_

_why? do we have extra practice?_

**no i would have messaged the group if we did**

_oh right_

_sorry_

**i’m getting out at 3**

**do u mind waiting for me?**

_sure? where?_

**anywhere, just meet me at my car at 3**

_oh_

_yeah_

_okay_

_i’ll see you there :)_

**see you**

_:)_

Sooyoung doesn’t reply anymore, and Jiwoo doesn’t know how the older girl manages to say the fewest things and get the biggest reactions out of her.

“Jiwoo,” Yerim says. “You keep looking at your phone.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry.”

Yerim smiles at her. “Is everything alright?”

Jiwoo nods her head profusely. “Yeah, good. Really good actually. Or at least I think so.” She bites her lip.

“That sounds good.” Yerim grows quiet for a bit, but then she suddenly speaks up. “Jiwoo, I need to tell you…something.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“I don’t really know how to say this.” Yerim’s face is red.

Jiwoo gives her an encouraging smile. “Hey, it’s just me. We’re friends, right? I’d never judge you. You didn’t judge me for… _you know what_.”

Yerim takes in a shaky breath. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, I’m just nervous I guess.”

“Take all the time you need.”

“Okay…um…I haven’t told anyone this. Definitely not Yeojin.”

_Oh, this was serious_. “Okay, wow. Uh, is it bad?”

“No! I mean…I don’t think so.” Yerim sighs. “Fine, I’ll just say it.” She avoids Jiwoo’s eyes. “I like Hyejoo.”

“Oh.”

_Oh_.

Well, it’s not like Yerim’s longing stares had gone unnoticed, but Jiwoo had assumed Yerim had just been jealous of Hyejoo and Chaewon’s bond, because at that time, Yerim and Yeojin still weren’t okay.

“I see why you wouldn’t tell Yeojin,” is all Jiwoo says.

“Ohmygod, this is _horrible_.” Yerim covers her face. “I’m breaking my best friend’s heart, and I like someone who’s obviously dating someone else.”

_Oh._ Were Hyejoo and Chaewon dating? How had Jiwoo never noticed? Was this how caught up she’d been in her own drama?

“Hey, hey.” Jiwoo rubs Yerim’s back in a soothing manner. “Hey, listen to me. You’re _not_ a bad best friend. You can’t control how you feel. If you had been given a choice, I’m sure you’d have chosen to feel these things for Yeojin instead. It’s not your fault. You were honest with her, and that’s what matters.”

Yerim sniffles. “It’s just…it was so _hard_ , losing my best friend for two weeks, and pining after another girl. It was just…things have been so hard, especially with cheer…”

Jiwoo’s heart breaks. She hadn’t known things were this bad with Yerim. She tried to imagine it: Jungeun ignoring her for two weeks after a sudden confession. She imagines having to reject and break the person she loved the most’s heart. It doesn’t seem easy. She doesn’t think she could have done what Yerim did.

She hugs the other girl, and lets Yerim snuggle into her.

“Everything’s going to be okay, Yerimmie, but you have to remember. None of _this_ , is your fault. Okay? You’ve been dealing with everything so well, despite all the crap, okay?”

Yerim sniffles again. “Okay…”

“I’m here for you, alright?”

“I know.” Yerim sighs. “Thank you.”

//

“Hey,” Hyejoo says, during lunch. “Chaewon and I are going to the mall later. You guys wanna come?”

“Sure,” Jungeun replies. “Jiwoo?”

“Uh, I’m gonna be doing something, but I think I can come a bit later,” Jiwoo replies, making sure her voice sounds normal.

Jungeun raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, you know,” she says, giving Jungeun a pointed look. “ _Something_.”

“Ah, _right_.” Jungeun smirks. “Enjoy, then.”

“We want to, but we can’t,” Yeojin says apologetically. “Yerim and I planned a best friend thing.”

Yerim gives them a smile, but she glances in Hyejoo’s direction with a sad look. “Yeah, just to catch up and stuff.”

Chaewon smiles at them. “Aw, that sounds nice. Maybe next time we can have a full group hangout.”

“Yeah, sure. Maybe at my house. You guys wanna come over on Saturday? If Sooyoung’s not being a bitch about it, I think it’ll be fun,” Hyejoo says.

“Oh yeah! Why not?” Jungeun replies.

“Yeah…why not,” Jiwoo says, unsure of how the older girl would react if Jiwoo was sleeping over at her house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are building up to the next chapter which...will definitely move the plot forward...and the coming chapters will finally finally reveal more about WHAT happened with the head cheerleaders 0-0 maybe in the next 2-3 chapters
> 
> tell me what u think of a possible sleepover...and this chapter in general!!!


	23. twenty three

Jiwoo can’t help but still be a bit nervous when she waits for Sooyoung by her car. She picks at her skirt, and tries not to think too much about it. They’ve kissed around four times now, it shouldn’t be anything _new_ , except, it always feels new whenever they do—like every time, they get a bit further.

Jiwoo’s too busy picking at her skirt to notice Sooyoung approaching her.

“Hey, thanks for waiting,” Sooyoung says.

Jiwoo looks up, momentarily startled. “Oh! Hi! And it’s no problem. It wasn’t that long of a wait anyways.”

Sooyoung doesn’t really reply, she just unlocks her car, and opens the door to the backseat, wordlessly sliding in. Jiwoo follows her, and when they both close the doors, and Sooyoung’s turned on the air conditioning, does the atmosphere suddenly become heavy and intimate once more.

Jiwoo’s been itching for this for _days_.

Sooyoung must have been feeling the same way (or maybe that was just Jiwoo’s wishful thinking), because she doesn’t say anything for awhile, she just stares at Jiwoo, and at her lips. “I’m not really in the mood for small talk. Can I just kiss you?”

Jiwoo just nods, not trusting her voice not give her desperation away.

“Okay. Good.” Sooyoung doesn’t waste time. She crashes their lips together without hesitation. It was much more of the same—they kissed to a steady rhythm that slowly got more and more intense, at some point, Jiwoo would end up on her lap, and Sooyoung’s tongue would be battling with hers for dominance.

After a while, Sooyoung’s already kissing Jiwoo’s neck, just the way the younger girl likes it, and her hands are already kneading Jiwoo’s breasts through her shirt. This is the part where Jiwoo _always_ wants more, where she’s grinding down, and her hands are tugging at Sooyoung’s hair, making the both of them moan—Sooyoung’s was low and heavy, while Jiwoo’s was high and airy.

“Take off your shirt,” Sooyoung suddenly tells her, the first thing she’s said since they started making out.

Jiwoo blushes a deep crimson red. “ _Oh_ , uh, okay.” She starts taking it off, just at the same time, Sooyoung’s phone rings.

Sooyoung growls, and grabs it, answering it. “ _Hello_?”

“Sooyoung,” it’s Heejin’s voice that answers. “The girls and I are on the way to your car. Yeri says Joohyun has this new dessert she wants us to try.”

“ _What_? And you’re only telling me _now_?”

“Jesus, what’s got your panties in a twist?” Heejin replies. “It was a last minute thing.”

Sooyoung takes a deep breath and composes herself. “Sorry,” she says after awhile. “I was just doing something.”

“Mm,” Heejin replies, and it’s weird, Jiwoo thinks, that even through call she can’t tell what Heejin’s thinking. “Anyways, you know Yeri. She doesn’t take no for an answer. We’re all at the entrance of the parking lot. See you in 5…seconds.” Heejin laughs, but Sooyoung isn’t amused.

Sooyoung ends the call without saying goodbye.

Jiwoo’s shirt is still halfway off.

“Put your shirt back on,” Sooyoung snaps at her. The harshness of her voice reminds Jiwoo of how she talks during practice, and Jiwoo mumbles out an apology as she fixes herself. “And get off my lap.”

“Sorry,” Jiwoo squeaks out again, hurriedly getting off.

“Fix your hair,” Sooyoung orders again, already fixing her own hair and crumpled clothes. When they’re both presentable, the older girl simply exits the car without another word.

Jiwoo does too, shakily standing on her legs.

“You have to go now, before—” Sooyoung is telling her, face serious, and voice demanding, just when—

“Sooyoungie! And…Jiwoo?” Heejin greets, raising an eyebrow.

Hyunjin just blinks at them curiously and tilts her head to the side. “Sooyoung. Jiwoo.” Her gaze lingers a bit on Jiwoo.

“Uh, hi!” Jiwoo greets them back, giving them a smile that’s _too_ big, but sue her, _okay_? The last few minutes have not been ideal for her.

“Well, you’re not being weird at all,” Jinsol bluntly comments.

Sooyoung bristles. “I thought we were in a hurry?”

“ _Jesus_ , Soo, relax.” Heejin places an arm around her, but there’s a glint in her eye. She faces Jiwoo. Jiwoo thinks that if it were anyone else other than Heejin, they would voice out their curiosity about the fact that the captain was with her. But this isn’t Heejin, and Heejin, as far as Jiwoo has noticed, isn’t one to react or say whatever anyone else would. Meanwhile, Sooyoung’s expression has become unreadable.

“Hey, Jiwoo,” Yeri says. “We’re gonna go eat at my older sister’s place. Since you’re here already, wanna come?”

“Uh…” Jiwoo’s brain sort of short circuits. “It’s fine…you, uh, you guys can go ahead.”

Yeri pouts. “You sure? My sister always likes having new people around.”

“It’ll probably be free shit too,” Joy adds, shrugging. “Joohyun never lets Yeri pay.”

Jiwoo looks at Sooyoung, looking for a sign of anything, but Sooyoung seems to have shut down, expression blank, arms crossed.

“I don’t want…to intrude,” Jiwoo insists.

Jinsol rolls her eyes. “We’re teammates. We’re a family. None of us ever intrude. You’re always invited.”

“Oh…thank you, but…” she thinks hard of an excuse, and then suddenly remembers that her friends are maybe still at the mall. “I think I might have plans with the others.”

“Oh, shame then,” Heejin draws out, eyeing her and then eyeing Sooyoung. “Maybe next time then, right Jiwoo?”

“Yeah…”

The girls then all say their goodbyes, talking loudly amongst themselves while they shamelessly pile into Sooyoung’s car. Sooyoung doesn’t spare Jiwoo a single glance, but Heejin and Hyunjin do, afterward then sharing a glance with each other.

//

_jungeun are u still at the mall_

**yes bitch the restaurant took so long preparing our food :( we haven’t even rlly done anything yet**

**why?**

**u coming?**

_yeah i’m otw_

**nice just text us when you’re here**

**see u bitch**

_see u_

**hey you ok? u sound weird**

**no emojis :(**

_yeah_

_see u_

//

When Jiwoo gets to the mall, the girls are just about to go bowling, spurned on by Jungeun saying she had fun the last they did it with Yeji and Jisu. Jiwoo walks up to them and flashes them all a weak smile, and they all just warmly welcome her, even Hyejoo, who gave her a rare small smile.

While Chaewon and Hyejoo get lost in their own world, arguing about who was the better player, Jungeun approaches Jiwoo, and sits next to her on the bench.

Jiwoo pretends she’s looking at the score board.

“Hey,” Jungeun says. “Are you okay?”

Jiwoo doesn’t answer. She doesn’t think her mouth would work, and lying to Jungeun in person was always harder than on chat.

“Okay,” Jungeun tells her. “It’s alright. You don’t have to tell me.” She holds Jiwoo’s hand. “But I’m here for you, okay?”

Jiwoo just nods.

//

Jiwoo is relatively quiet for the rest of the hang, and Chaewon and Hyejoo don’t hold it against her, leaving her to be with Jungeun, who has put a protective arm around Jiwoo’s waist as they walked around the mall—as if her arm would physically bar any emotional distress from coming toward the cheerleader.

When Jungeun drives her home, she doesn’t pry, she lets Jiwoo wallow, and when Jiwoo gets home and in her bed, Jungeun sends her a message telling her to feel better soon, and that she’s just there.

Jiwoo replies with a heart, and forces herself to finish her homework, and go to sleep, already dreading Friday, the next day—practice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and i- mAM
> 
> so, thoughts on soo's reaction? and on the chapter hehe? thank u for reading as always !! decided to give yall a third update


	24. twenty four

When Jiwoo wakes up the next day, she robotically takes a shower, eats her meal in silence, and brushes her teeth without pulling the funny faces she often did. While she got her bag ready, she briefly remembers that she’d left her phone on silent as to avoid any worried messages from Jungeun or maybe Yerim yesterday. She sighs as she takes her phone to turn her notifications on again, and just as she does, she sees a message from Sooyoung.

Her heart thuds in a painful manner.

**jiwoo**

It had been sent last night, at 11pm, but Jiwoo had already fallen asleep by then.

She doesn’t want to reply. She still feels the sting of abrupt rejection from yesterday. She still remembers Sooyoung’s snappy tone and blank expression—but a part of her, the bigger person, the one that always tells her to _do the right thing,_ tells her to message back.

Jiwoo gives in.

_hey_

The reply is almost instantaneous.

**are you in school?**

_no, why?_

**are you otw?**

_not yet_

**okay**

And that’s it. Sooyoung doesn’t really say anything else. Jiwoo sighs, and stuffs her phone into her bag. It figures. Just when she thought she was kind of getting under Sooyoung’s harsh image, she would get yet another stark reminder that she would never know Sooyoung in that way. That Sooyoung would probably never care about her.

Jiwoo bit her lip. Did _she_ care about Sooyoung already? _Were_ they even friends? No, she doesn’t think so. Maybe, they never will be.

Jiwoo tells her mother goodbye, as she opens the door, ready for her self pitying walk toward the bus stop, only to come face to face with Sooyoung standing at her porch, Sooyoung’s car behind her.

Jiwoo blinks, startled.

Sooyoung’s expression is sheepish. “Hi.”

Jiwoo blinks again, unable to form a reply. Realistically, she should probably feel more of the pain she was pushing down to come crawling out of her, but she’s just so shocked that she doesn’t really know what she’s feeling.

“I was thinking I could drive you to school,” Sooyoung says after awhile.

Jiwoo doesn’t say anything. She just stares at Sooyoung, and once she confirms she hasn’t gone insane—all the hurt and frustration she felt from yesterday bubbles up.

“It’s okay. I can take the bus,” Jiwoo replies, trying not to waver under Sooyoung’s gaze.

“Jiwoo…”

“Like I said, I can take the bus.”

Sooyoung sighs, and it annoys Jiwoo even more. Did Sooyoung think she was being difficult? Because as far as Jiwoo knew, only _one_ of them was particularly difficult.

“Look, I…I’m not good with apologies,” Sooyoung explains very slowly, like each word pains her. “But that doesn’t go without saying that I’m _not_ sorry. If you get what I mean.”

“No, actually, I don’t.” Jiwoo’s voice is surprisingly steady. “I don’t get what you’re saying. It’s not my job to.”

Sooyoung furrows her eyebrows at the harsh reply, and Jiwoo goes on. “I really need to start walking now or else I’ll miss the bus.”

“Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says her name again. If Jiwoo tries hard enough, she can hear the unspoken apology, but she doesn’t want to have to hear the nuances. She deserves _more_ than just suggestions or implications.

“ _What_?” She finds herself snapping.

Sooyoung’s eyebrow twitches—a thing Jiwoo notices the older girl does when she’s frustrated, when she’s hearing something she doesn’t want to.

“…I feel bad about what happened yesterday,” the older girl finally replies.

Jiwoo exhales loudly through her nose. “Well, you’re not the only one who does.”

“That’s fair.”

“Yes. Now, I really have to go.” Jiwoo walks past her, but Sooyoung trails behind her.

“Can you wait for me to finish?”

“I don’t want to be late.”

“You don’t _have_ to be. I said I could drive you.”

“And I said I wanted to take the bus!”

Jiwoo turns around, ready to give Sooyoung a piece of her mind, only to find that the girl had been much closer than she’d expected, because suddenly their chests are almost touching, their faces a few breaths apart.

Their proximity kills whatever else Jiwoo had been planning to say. It seems to have the opposite effect on Sooyoung however, as the older girl finally continues talking.

“I’m…sorry…about…how I…acted yesterday,” she says, her voice strained. “And I’m not having a hard time saying that because you don’t deserve an apology or anything. I’m just not good at saying I’m sorry. Which…I am. Sorry.”

Jiwoo just blinks at her, still mad, still hurt, but Sooyoung’s expression is strangely soft, and her eyes are imploring, as if actually caring whether Jiwoo forgave her or not. And she came here, to pick Jiwoo up.

“Just, let me drive you to school. You don’t have to forgive me yet,” Sooyoung tells her.

A beat.

Another beat passes.

“Okay.”

Sooyoung almost looks relieved. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

//

The drive is quiet, as usual, but this time, it’s not just because Sooyoung isn’t talking, it’s because Jiwoo refuses to initiate a conversation. _Yes_ , she was nice. _Yes_ , she was an extremely patient person, but Jiwoo had learned early on in her life that this made her an easy pushover. It was Jungeun, with her brasher tone and more straightforward mannerisms that slowly taught Jiwoo when enough was enough.

To Jiwoo, flustered or not by the cheerleaders coming, Sooyoung had still crossed a line by doing that to her. She had been just as flustered at Sooyoung, if not _more_ , and it didn’t feel good to be left hanging, and to be snapped at, like it was all her fault somehow.

“…you can play music,” Sooyoung says out of nowhere. Her tone is neutral as always, but Jiwoo does catch her side-eyeing Jiwoo now and then.

Jiwoo doesn’t say anything, but she does connect to the car, and play one of her K-pop songs.

//

When they get to school, they only have a minute or so before the bell rings, so neither of them engage in conversation. Sooyoung kills the engine, kind of looks at Jiwoo as if she wants to say something, _doesn’t_ , and they both get out, enter the school and go their separate ways.

It feels weird, Jiwoo thinks, to give the older girl the cold shoulder. If someone had told Jiwoo years ago that she would be angry and ignoring Ha Sooyoung, Yves, one of the best young cheerleaders in the world of competitive cheer, she’d probably call what you were saying blasphemous.

Jiwoo goes to all of her classes, and keeps her head up high, even if her heart is sinking low.

//

During lunch, Jiwoo asks Jungeun if they can sit together in private, leaving Hyejoo, Chaewon, Yerim, and Yeojin to sit amongst themselves. Yerim flashes her a concerned look, but Jiwoo just gives her a _not now_ under her breath, which the other girl respects.

“Hey,” Jungeun says once they’ve sat down with their trays. “What’s been going on with you?”

Jiwoo sighs as she picks at her food. “I…something happened yesterday.” Jungeun just nods at her to continue, not wanting to speak and interrupt Jiwoo’s flow. “Sooyoung and I were doing our thing in her car, and then the other cheerleaders showed up…and then she just got so _weird_ and angry with me.”

Jungeun furrows her eyebrows. “Okay…”

“She wouldn’t look at me, and she just kept snapping at me, and when the others invited me to hang out with them, I could just feel it…that she _didn’t_ want them to know or have me join them. I just knew.”

“What the fuck?” Jungeun replies, upset. “That’s really rude.”

“Yeah, I know. But then…” Jiwoo sighs again, looking down. “She messaged me last night saying sorry, but I didn’t see her message until today.”

“Was she saying sorry?”

“Not on text. She…showed up at my house and said sorry, then she drove me to school. Look, I’m just _so_ confused. Like, one moment she’s kind off being really oddly pleasant, the next she’s back to being distant and cold, and then now she’s saying sorry…” Jiwoo bites her lip. “I was really hurt, being treated like that. I felt _cheap_. And then, when it’s just us, suddenly she’s saying sorry, and being sweet, and maybe even being a friend, driving me to school.”

“I’m getting whiplash.” Jungeun holds Jiwoo’s hand and strokes her thumb on it. “So, Sooyoung’s a bitch who sometimes acts like she isn’t one, but then suddenly becomes bitchy again?”

“…well, I don’t think that’s a _fair_ assumption…it’s just—“

“—don’t make excuses for her,” Jungeun states. “What she did was uncalled for, and even if she apologized, you don’t owe her forgiveness until you’re ready.”

“…yeah. That’s true.”

They stay quiet for awhile until Jungeun speaks up again. “You know, I didn’t mean to call her a bitch. Sorry. But she kinda is acting like one. A confusing one.”

“I know.” Jiwoo gives her a weak smile. “What do I do?”

“You don’t _have_ to do anything. You can forgive her in your own time. Like I said, people can say sorry, and it’s good that she did, but apologies don’t erase the damage someone inflicts. Only you get to decide when you should forgive her.”

Jiwoo squeezes Jungeun’s hand. “Thank you.”

“No problem, Jiwooming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAS REALLY shocked by the intense reactions last chapter and i love that u guys are so engaged :(( anyways chapter after this finally lets u in on the head cheerleaders and a bit of what happened
> 
> how do you guys feel so far? i hope soo gets her shit together but i also get where she's coming from dwedqedviqwevdiqv 
> 
> ALL THE LOVE, bbs


	25. twenty five

In the locker room, ten minutes before practice, Yerim finally manages to corner Jiwoo. “Hey,” she softly says. “What’s up? You didn’t reply to me yesterday and you didn’t eat with us at lunch. You good?”

Jiwoo nods. “I’m feeling a bit better now. Some stuff just happened.”

“Okay.” Yerim sounds relieved. “I was worried.”

“I know, and I love you so much,” Jiwoo tells her. They hug for a bit, and when they pull away, Jiwoo assures her. “I can’t share everything with you right now, but I want you to know I’m dealing with it, okay?”

Yerim gives her the kindest of looks. “Okay, Jiwoo. I’m just here for you.”

//

Practice isn’t as bad as Jiwoo dreaded it would be. The only struggle she really has is the struggle she always has—trying not to look at Sooyoung when she’s in a sports bra doing splits and flips—but besides that, she does fairly well. Her performance has been mostly consistent for a while now, and she’s not about to let the older girl throw her off anymore, not when the head cheerleaders are watching their every move to try and single out those who are going to be temporary members.

Sooyoung is nothing short of her professional self. She addresses Jiwoo to correct her now and then, and keeps her touches minimal when correcting Jiwoo’s form, which the younger girl is relieved about. For once, she’s glad that the older girl is so distant during practice.

Mid-practice, Heejin begins to receive a slew of calls once more, and when she takes a break to answer it, Sooyoung accompanies her, telling Hyunjin and Jinsol to lead practice. The two of them go off to the corner to answer the call, and alternate talking to the phone. Sooyoung’s eyebrows are furrowed throughout the entire encounter, and Heejin’s arms are crossed. After a while, Sooyoung claps her hands, and calls over Hyunjin and Jinsol, and all the other girls are given a sudden break.

None of the other cheerleaders question it, with Yeri and Joy visibly trying to keep the atmosphere normal.

“It’s getting worse,” Hyejoo tells their little group, composed of Chaewon, Jiwoo, and Yerim.

“Is it the Haseul-Eunbi situation?” Chaewon asks, obviously knowing more than Jiwoo and Yerim.

Hyejoo shrugs. “That and I think more. It’s not just them. The school board is involved, and Sooyoung’s been trying to keep them at bay for months now, ever since what happened.”

Chaewon sighs, a worried expression taking over her face. “It’s too much. It’s _unfair._ Haseul didn’t—“ She suddenly lowers her voice. “It wasn’t Haseul’s fault.”

Hyejoo’s expression darkens. “Well, it wasn’t Sooyoung’s fault _either,_ not really at least… And I don’t know, even if Haseul…even if it wasn’t her intention…she was still the reason.”

“She was still the reason,” Chaewon agrees. “I hope Eunbi’s doing better.”

“I don’t know if she is. I don’t know if they ever resolved what happened between them.”

“You can’t _blame_ Eunbi either, though. She was just…it hurt everyone involved.”

Hyejoo nods. “It did. Sometimes, I wonder if…”

“Have you ever met Vivi?” Chaewon asks.

“Sooyoung told me about her, and how she was involved and how it all happened, but she kept the details vague. She’s private,” Hyejoo explains. “She won’t crack, especially if it’s about Haseul. She’s always going to _owe_ her.”

“But Haseul did what she did because she had her back.”

“Of course. That’s them and their secrets. I think only Heejin, Hyunjin, Jinsol, and Sooyoung know everything. I’m not even sure they told Yeri and Joy. They probably know as much as me only.”

Yerim finally speaks. “What exactly _happened_?”

“It’s complicated,” Hyejoo tells them. “All I know is that Sooyoung, Haseul, and Eunbi got involved in something, and Heejin was there, but I’m not sure what happened, and now Eunbi’s really injured, and she hates Haseul and Sooyoung, and Sooyoung’s always so distant now…she wasn’t like that before. I think she did something, or maybe they all did, and now Haseul’s gone. She’s not even injured, she’s just _gone_.”

Chaewon nods. “Hyunjin and Jinsol just know by default cause they’re close with them, but for Heejin, didn’t she—“

“—she was the one that talked Haseul into doing it, not that Haseul needed anyone to encourage her. She would have done it anyways. Heejin’s just like that. She and Sooyoung are more like sisters than Sooyoung and me. She didn’t want anything to happen to her.”

Jiwoo’s head is spinning. “That’s…how is the school board _involved_?”

“Nobody knows,” Hyejoo says.

Before they can talk more about it, the head cheerleaders come back, and they resume practice as if nothing had happened.

//

When practice ends, Yerim tells Jiwoo she has to leave early, but that she hopes she feels better. Jiwoo just hugs her and gives her her thanks. Hyejoo and Chaewon go to Jiwoo as well, and Hyejoo reminds her of the sleepover on Saturday. Jiwoo doesn’t say _yes_ yet, not sure of how she feels about going to Sooyoung’s house, but she does tell them she’ll think about it.

Jiwoo takes a long shower, a lot of thoughts going through her hair. First, the Sooyoung situation, which still hurt her, but not as much now. Second, the whole sleepover thing, which she doesn’t know is a good idea for Yerim, who still obviously likes Hyejoo, or Yeojin, who still likes Yerim and has to see her _pine_ over someone else. She also doesn’t think it’s a good thing for her, if she and Sooyoung haven’t resolved whatever it was that happened between them. And third, Heejin, Sooyoung, Haseul, Eunbi…and Vivi, was it? That seemed like a big story, and the idea that something _so_ bad caused someone to get injured for life, and someone to disappear, and caused Sooyoung’s personality to _change_ so drastically…she can’t help but wonder what it was that happened. Plus, the school board was apparently involved, _which_ was never a good thing.

When she gets out of the shower, and dresses up, she doesn’t realize that Sooyoung is in there, until Sooyoung clears her throat.

Jiwoo suddenly spins around, just in shorts and bra, and sees Sooyoung there, leaning against one of the lockers.

“Jiwoo,” she says.

Jiwoo’s eyes widen, she gasps, and she immediately turns around again, so that her back is to Sooyoung. “ _What_ are you doing here?”

“This is the locker room.”

“Yes, I know that! But you’re never here this _late_.,” Jiwoo points out. It’s somehow easier to string coherent sentences when she doesn’t have to look at the older girl.

“Jiwoo,” is all Sooyoung says again. It’s in the same neutral tone she mostly speaks in.

Jiwoo doesn’t answer. Instead, she quickly puts on a shirt, and turns around to finally face the older girl. Sooyoung hasn’t come any closer. She’s still leaning against the lockers across from her, arms crossed. Her gaze is heavy.

“I’m…going to go now,” Jiwoo mumbles, grabbing her bag, and taking a few steps forward.

Sooyoung gets off from the lockers and stands in her way. “You’re still upset with me,” she states.

Jiwoo has to stop herself from rolling her eyes. “If it wasn’t obvious, then _yes_. I am.”

“I already apologised,” Sooyoung replies, matter of factly.

“Yes, you did.”

“You’re still upset?”

“ _Yes_ , Sooyoung. I am. I also have to go.”

The older girl tilts her head to the side. “You have plans?”

This time, Jiwoo does roll her eyes. “No, but I don’t want to be around you right now.”

“I see,” is all Sooyoung says. She takes a few steps closer until they’re just a breath apart.

“Sooyoung…”

“Yes?” Sooyoung asks, looking at her lips now.

Jiwoo licks her lips, and Sooyoung follows the motion. “I…don’t do this.”

The captain raises an eyebrow. “Do what, exactly?”

Jiwoo blushes and motions to her. “ _This_!”

The older girl takes another step forward, until they’re almost touching. “I haven’t done anything.”

Jiwoo’s resolve is cracking. She still _wants_ her, wants to be touched by her, wants to be _kissed_. She doesn’t say anything. Her throat feels locked up, and she can’t seem to say no out loud, because deep inside, her core is screaming _Yes_. Instead, she looks away.

“Jiwoo. Can you look at me?”

Jiwoo shakes her head.

“Why not?”

This time, she gets her voice to work. “Because…because if I do…I’ll want to kiss you. And I’m still mad at you, and hurt.”

A second passes, and then another, and another. Sooyoung stays quiet for awhile, and then she says, “Okay,” and takes a few steps back, until Jiwoo can finally face her again and breathe.

“I’m…gonna go now,” Jiwoo says, walking past her, and out the room. Sooyoung doesn’t call out for her, or stop her.

Jiwoo doesn’t know if she feels relieved or disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooo am glad to see some development on constipated sooyoung, also strong jiwoo rise !!!!!
> 
> WHAT DID U GUYS THINK OF THE HEAD CHEERLEADERS' MYSTERY? 0-0 THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET INTENSE SOON.......FGAIWEUGOgd
> 
> let me know all ur thoughts so far!!!
> 
> updated fairly quick bcos i love y'all <3 and bcos y'all have been COMMENTING LIKE CRAZY! i love reading ur COMMENTS AND SEEING UR THEORIES <3 so feel free to always drop them
> 
> also u may notice the chapters increasing, thats just bcos im estimating how many chapters this story will have <3 don't mind it bbs


	26. twenty six

Jungeun is supposed to drive her home, but her car is no longer at the parking lot when Jiwoo gets there. She furrows her eyebrows, and immediately messages her best friend, confused.

_hey wru?_

**fuck**

**jiwoo**

**i’m so sorry**

**eidhi2d2ibun**

_why? JUNGEUN DID U LEAVE ALREADY_

**IM SO**

**SORRY**

_JUNGEUN WE AGREED_

**I KNOW but**

**turns out i had a group project :(( I HAD TO GO**

**IM**

**SO**

**SORRY**

_JUNGEUN I HATE YOUUUUU_

**IM SORRY ILL MAKE IT UP TO U**

**LOVE U**

**SORRY**

_fUCK YOUUUUU_

_UGHHHH_

Jiwoo is still at the parking lot when Sooyoung finally gets there, and she has to shift her eyes immediately, silently hoping the older girl doesn’t see her, except that’s wishful thinking, because she can see Sooyoung’s car is just two spots away from where she’s standing.

Sooyoung stops by her car and eyes her. Jiwoo pretends she doesn’t see her.

The older girl raises an eyebrow. “Waiting for someone?”

“I _was_ ,” Jiwoo says, defending herself. She doesn’t want Sooyoung to think she was waiting for _her_ to come out.

“There’s no car there, though…” Sooyoung points out, raising an eyebrow.

“They left,” Jiwoo tells her.

A silence follows them for a few seconds, before Sooyoung speaks up again.

“Do you need a ride home?”

_Not from you_ , Jiwoo thinks, but doesn’t say it, because it’s harsh, and even if she’s mad, she’s not _mean_. She shakes her head. “I can walk.” It was already 7, because their practices would last 3-4 _hours_ , and that meant the buses were either not there or too sketchy to go to.

“It’s already 7,” Sooyoung says.

“It’s ok.”

“Let me drive you home, Jiwoo.”

“I’m _fine_.”

Unlike in the locker room, Sooyoung doesn’t back down. “It’s dangerous, Jiwoo, and I know you’re still mad, but you can still be mad and let me drive you home.”

Jiwoo doesn’t want to give in. She _really really really_ doesn’t, but Sooyoung is here, and she’s making sense, and she really doesn’t want to wait in the bus stop or ride the bus home.

“I just,” Jiwoo starts. “I’m not going to forgive you because you’re driving me home.”

“No,” Sooyoung agrees. “You’re not.”

“Fine, okay.”

“Okay.”

Jiwoo walks to Sooyoung’s car, and she gets in.

//

The drive is mostly tense and quiet, and Sooyoung stays quiet, though whether it’s because she always usually is, or because she’s really giving Jiwoo that space, Jiwoo can’t figure out.

“Jiwoo,” she says.

“Hm?”

“You can play music again.”

“Okay.”

JIwoo does. It’s nice to fill up the silence and gaps between her and the other girl.

//

When they get to Jiwoo’s house, Sooyoung looks like she wants to say something, because she turns her head toward Jiwoo, but the younger girl doesn’t want to give her more of a chance to melt her resolve, so she just says thank you, and quickly gets out of the car. Before she closes the door, she hears the older girl sigh, and say, “I’m sorry.” Jiwoo chooses not to answer.

She doesn’t look back as she walks into her house. Sooyoung doesn’t drive off until Jiwoo’s inside.

//

After Jiwoo finishes her homework, she checks her phone only to see that Jungeun has sent her a slew of apologies with heartbreak emojis. It makes her laugh as she tells her it's okay.

That night, she lay in bed thinking of Sooyoung — of the soft apology that left her lips as Jiwoo left the car, of the way she genuinely had been reaching out that day. Three times. Sooyoung had looked for her three times.

It makes the hurt go a way a little bit. Jiwoo has never been the type to hold grudges anyways. However, the hurt is still there, the feeling of being cheap still lingers.

Jiwoo isn't the type to do casual things. Sooyoung had been her first proper kiss, her first makeout. To be brushed off still stung her.

At the same time, she reminds herself that it isn't really Sooyoung's fault that she felt cheap, at least not completely. The older girl had been honest — and Jiwoo had agreed to all the terms.

She sighs, and falls asleep with troubled dreams that smelled faintly of green apples.

//

The next morning, she wakes up feeling a bit better. When she's done getting ready for school, she kisses both of her parents cheeks and puts on her shoes. She's ready to face the day, she can do it.

That's when her phone rings, and she's surprised to see that it's Hyejoo calling.

"Hey," Jiwoo answers it. Hyejoo has never called her, has never even texted her. They'd exchanged numbers through formality mostly, since they were more or less friends now.

"Can you tell me why me and Sooyoung are outside your house right now?" Hyejoo replies. "Because she made me wake up earlier just to go here to pick you up, and won't tell me why. Also, why is my sis— Sooyoung, don't grab my ph—"

"—Hyejoo—" Sooyoung says in the background.

The sounds of a struggle take place, leaving Jiwoo even more confused.

" —well you won't tell me anyth—sTOP GRABBING MY PH—"

" —m going to kill yo—"

And then the call ends.

Jiwoo immediately steps outside and sees Sooyoung's car in her driveway, and she can see that Hyejoo and Sooyoung seem to be grappling with each other in the front seats. She immediately rushes over.

Once she’s in front of the car, Sooyoung and Hyejoo pull away from each other, and Hyejoo lowers her window.

“Jiwoo,” she says, her tone annoyed. “Apparently, without much notice from my sister’s part toward me, we are driving you to school. Why? I don’t know, she won’t tell me, and apparently I’m not allowed to ask you, but can you please go in, because I already had to wake up earlier than usual.”

“Hyejoo, can you—“ Sooyoung says, sounding annoyed as well.

“—What? Can I—“

“—just stop being—“

“—no, you know how much I need my slee—“

The two start arguing again, but Jiwoo really doesn’t want to be late, so she just says, “Okay.” She’d have probably said no if it was only Sooyoung that showed up, but she didn’t think Hyejoo would be pleased with the prospect of being dragged here just for Jiwoo to reject their offer.

“…okay?” It’s Sooyoung that speaks up.

“Yeah,” is all Jiwoo says, as she gets into the back. The first time she’s ever been in the backseat for other reasons, she thinks, a little bitter.

During the drive, Hyejoo falls asleep again, leaving only Sooyoung and Jiwoo awake.

“You can play music,” is all Sooyoung tells her.

“Okay.”

Jiwoo does.

//

When they get to school, Sooyoung kills the engine and wakes Hyejoo up, who just grumbles, but is significantly less annoyed now that she’s gotten a few more minutes of her sleep. Sooyoung doesn’t talk to Jiwoo again, but she does give her a nod, as Jiwoo and Hyejoo walk off together.

Jiwoo’s not a grudge holder. She thinks that maybe she’s already halfway towards forgiving Sooyoung.

//

As they walk toward their classes, Hyejoo brings up the situation. “Are we going to ignore the fact that you and my sister obviously have some sort of relationship that I don’t know about? Or…?”

Jiwoo’s face turns red. “ _No_ ,” she whispers. “It’s nothing…uh, like that.”

Hyejoo raises an eyebrow at her, and her expression is not amused. “So, her asking for your number out of nowhere is perfectly normal, and her waking me up early just to drive to pick you up is normal as well, when she’s never done that before. She just decided to pick a random girl from the team. Is that it?”

Jiwoo isn’t a good liar, and Hyejoo is pretty fucking intimidating. She shakes her head profusely. She can’t tell Hyejoo, not yet, especially if Sooyoung hasn’t told her anything. Plus, she really wouldn’t even know how to explain it. She hasn’t even told _Yerim_ , only Jungeun knew.

“It’s…” Jiwoo trails off. “I’m sorry, Hye. I don’t know. Can we please just drop it?”

Hyejoo doesn’t look like she wants to, but she shrugs. “Fine, but one day you’re telling me.”

“Okay,” Jiwoo agrees. “One day.”

That seems to satisfy the other girl, as she doesn’t bring it up the whole walk to their classes anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwqbdubiwubiqodn more head cheerleader drama soon, and in a couple of chapters we get another maybe hot makeout.....i say maybe but i've already written it...
> 
> ANYWAYS i missed u guys? college is crazy rn with online reqs :(( updates might get slower, but ill always do my best to deliver quality content
> 
> what do we think abt sooyoung picking her up again 0-0 :> love y'all <3 
> 
> a lot of u compliment my writing which surprises me bcos uh this is rlly the first time ive written smthn this long tbh :(( thank u? yall rlly so sweet :((((
> 
> and i love ur theories on the cheerleaders...some got rlly close... hehe


	27. twenty seven

At lunch, Jiwoo is relieved to see that Hyejoo doesn’t bring it up at all. Whether Hyejoo told Chaewon or not, though, she isn’t entirely sure of. Instead, all of them talk about the sleepover tomorrow.

“You guys can come at around 10, that’s when I usually wake up on the weekends,” Hyejoo tells them. “Any earlier, and it’s Sooyoung that you’ll run into.”

“Your sister wakes up crazy early,” Chaewon comments. “Every time I wake up at your house, at like 5 to pee or whatever, she’s already awake in the living room.”

“Yeah,” Hyejoo says. “She’s always been like that, at least since we started living together last summer.”

“About the sleepover, by the way,” Yeojin says. “I’m not yet sure if I can go.”

“Huh? Why?” Jungeun asks.

Yeojin shrugs. “I live with my grandparents, and my grandad sometimes needs help with the dumpling business. It gets crazy busy on Friday nights and Saturdays. It’s just him making them, and I don’t really wanna let him down.”

“Aw,” Chaewon coos. “That’s really cute.”

“It’s fine,” Hyejoo says, waving it off. “When we have another one, maybe you can come.”

Yeojin smiles at them. “Yeah!”

“I asked my parents, they were good with it,” Yerim replies. “But I have to go home kinda early on Sunday. That’s our family day.”

Hyejoo looks at Jungeun and Jiwoo. “How about you guys?”

“Yeah, I’m down,” Jungeun says. “My parents aren’t strict, they don’t really mind if I’m out. I have a car anyways.” She looks at Jiwoo. “I can drive you home after the sleepover, if you come.”

Jiwoo bites her lip. She doesn’t want to miss out on the hangout, for sure, but the fact that Sooyoung might be lingering around…She sighs, and looks at all of their eager faces. They’re her _friends_ , and she shouldn’t let whatever it was she was going through affect the time she spent with them.

“Yeah…sure. As long as I have ride, I’m usually always allowed,” she tells them.

“It’s settled then,” Hyejoo says.

As the girls talk amongst themselves, Jiwoo’s eyes, out of habit, land on the cheer table, where she realizes, Heejin and Sooyoung are not at. She furrows her eyebrows. She’s never seen them _both_ not there. Hyunjin doesn’t seem to be all that bothered by it, as she sits, reading some book, but Jinsol has this worried expression on her face as she picks at her food. Yeri and Joy just look stuck in their own world.

That was weird.

//

The day just passes Jiwoo by, with nothing uneventful happening, besides Jungeun telling her that she can’t drive Jiwoo home, because of her stupid project. Jiwoo assures her it’s fine, and says she can take the bus or ask Yerim to maybe drop her off.

In the locker room, right before cheer practice, Yerim talks to Jiwoo in a soft voice. “Hey,” she says. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jiwoo tells her. “Of course, you can.”

“I just,” Yerim starts, and then stops for a bit to take in a deep breath. “I think Yeojin’s going to confess to me again next week or something.”

“ _What_?”

“Yeah. She left her phone on the table when she went to the bathroom, and she got a notif. Her screen lit up, and I accidentally saw her friend telling her, ‘don’t confess again dude :(‘.” Yerim bites her lip. “I don’t want to have to reject her again. My feelings haven’t changed.”

“I know,” Jiwoo says. “Besides, it’s too soon.”

“What do I do?” Yerim groans. “Yesterday, Chaewon had to go home early, and Hyejoo told me Sooyoung couldn’t drive her back for some reason, so I drove her back _instead_ , and we just sort of talked. She’s actually really observant and a good listener. When we got to her house, I accidentally kissed her on the cheek goodbye, and she just sort of smiles at me, but I think she was just being friendly—“

Jiwoo lowers her voice. “—she’s not exactly the type to just be…”

“—I know that! I’m so confused. I’m pretty sure she and Chaewon are together.” Yerim sighs.

“Wait, they’ve never said anything, have they?”

“No. I just sort of assumed…”

“Oh. Maybe, I don’t know. Hang out with her more? And then confess…?”

“ _No_.” Yerim violently shakes her head. “I’m not doing that…that’ll make everything awkward.”

Jiwoo slumps her shoulders in defeat. “I don’t know too. I’m sorry, Yerim. Even I’m a mess when it comes to those things.”

“It’s okay.” Yerim smiles at her. “It’s enough that you listened.”

//

When practice begins, it’s very clear that something is wrong. Sooyoung and Heejin aren’t there. Instead, it’s Hyunjin and Jinsol that lead practice. Jinsol claps her hands to get everyone’s attention.

“Right,” she says. “Our captains are doing something right now with the school board.” Everyone’s eyes widen, and there’s a collective gasp. “But don’t worry, they’ll probably be back soon. Until then, Hyunjin and I are gonna be leading the practice.”

Hyunjin nods. “Everybody, 10 laps around the gym.”

This practice is probably the most Jiwoo has ever heard Hyunjin speak, and she’s surprised at how blunt the other girl was. Sooyoung was blunt in a sharp way, Heejin in an understanding way, and Jinsol in a playful way, but Hyunjin was just blunt without anything—you couldn’t tell if she was pleased, or disappointed, you could only really take her words at face value.

She’s probably the most unreadable person Jiwoo has met, and she’s met Sooyoung and Heejin.

Jinsol was a little less sharp at pointing out mistakes, and seemed to let them get away with a bit, Jiwoo notices, while Hyunjin doesn’t. Her eyes are like _eagle eyes_ , and she calls them out quick and in a succession. Unlike Sooyoung and Heejin though, they ask them to repeat the move several times before giving them punishments, which Jiwoo is thankful for.

Near the end of practice, Sooyoung and Heejin still don’t show up, and Jiwoo would be lying if she says the curiosity and concern aren’t eating her up on the inside. When practice ends, Hyunjin and Jinsol just gather them around to remind them that next Friday is their very first contest together.

“Like Soo and Heejin said last week, it’s one of the smaller ones we use as a warm-up, but we still have to do our best with the routine, and win,” Jinsol tells them.

“Make sure to not under-sleep this weekend and the following week. Workout. Get your body ready. You need to be at peak performance,” Hyunjin says.

After that, they get dismissed, and Heejin and Sooyoung still aren’t there. Jiwoo can only furrow her eyebrows.

//

Jiwoo’s the last one in the showers once more, and she’s turned off the water to soap herself up, when she hears multiple footsteps enter the locker room.

And then voices—and she _knows_ these voices.

“You missed practice,” Hyunjin says, and the sound of a locker being opened can be heard.

Someone sighs. “Yeah.” It’s Heejin. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” Hyunjin tells her. “Just tell me you’re alright.”

“I am. It’s Sooyoung I’m worried about,” Heejin tells her.

It’s perhaps, the softest Jiwoo has ever heard their voices be—the _kindest_.

“You’re always worried about Sooyoung these days,” Hyunjin points out.

“Aren’t you?”

“Of course, I am. What she went through isn’t something I’d ever wish on anyone, Heejinnie.”

“No. If I could take all of it back…”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I was still a part of it,” Heejin tells her.

“Where’s Sooyoung?”

“I don’t know. She stormed out of the meeting when they said that Haseul…”

“None of this is fair.”

“No.”

A sniffle, all of a sudden. Was someone _crying_?

“I miss the old Sooyoung,” Heejin suddenly says, and Jiwoo is surprised to hear that her voice is quite shakey.

“I know, I know. Me too,” Hyunjin softly says.

“I miss the old _us_. All of _us_. It changed _everything_.”

Silence for a while. “Yeah, it did,” Hyunjin finally says. “But we can’t change what happened. No one can.”

“No.” Heejin sighs. “No one can.”

Jiwoo’s heart is beating fast as she does her best to stay absolutely quiet, until she’s sure they’re gone.

_What was happening?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> where are you sooyoungie :((
> 
> as promised we have more head cheer drama ! what do u guys think? and yeojin choerry gowon olivia situation is finally getting pushed forward uwhdbwui
> 
> hope u guys enjoyed ! pls drop a comment on what u think of the chapter hehe <3 thank u for reading


	28. twenty eight

Once Jiwoo has finally dressed up, she slings her gym bag over her shoulder, and leaves the locker room. She goes to the parking lot, because she has to pass by it anyways to get to the bus station. Only a few cars are still there, since it was 7pm already, and it doesn’t escape her notice that one of the cars still there is Sooyoung’s, except Sooyoung isn’t near it or even inside it. She’s not there.

Jiwoo bites her lip. A little worried.

She’s still mad, sure, still a little hurt, but Sooyoung had apologized _twice_ , and had been extra nice to her recently. It still didn’t excuse the stuff she did, but Jiwoo also believed that it was unfair to _hold things_ over people’s heads. Especially since they were all still in high school, and teenagers who snapped now and then, and Sooyoung did seem like she was under immense pressure.

She still hasn’t fully forgiven her, but maybe she was halfway there already. She was also really worried.

Jiwoo decides to linger by Sooyoung’s car. She lies to herself that it’s because she doesn’t want anyone to steal it. It is an expensive car, but she knows it’s a bullshit excuse.

She waits there, messaging her parents she might be a bit late, and her mom lets her know that dinner is the refrigerator, and she just had to heat it up once she got home. She also sends Jiwoo a kissy face and a “be safe!”, which makes Jiwoo smile.

She waits there for around twenty minutes, and that’s when she hears Sooyoung’s footsteps.

“Jiwoo?” Sooyoung says, curiously.

“Hey,” Jiwoo softly replies. “I was just worried…uh…something would happen to your car.”

Sooyoung furrows her eyebrows, obviously not buying it, but for once, she doesn’t point it out. “Oh, thanks.”

It’s only when Sooyoung’s right in front of her by the car that Jiwoo sees how _tired_ she looks. The shallow cheeks, the dark circles under her eyes, just her _expression_ itself had exhaustion painted all over it.

“Uh, do you need a ride back?” Sooyoung asks.

“Um…I guess I didn’t think about that ha ha…” Jiwoo trails off.

“I can drive you home.”

“No, it’s—“

“—Listen, Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says. “I’ve had a really long day, and that isn’t your fault, so I’m not about to snap at you. However, I’m extremely tired, and I want to go home. I also want to make sure you’re safe. So, please don’t argue with me, not _tonight_ ,” her voice turns uncharacteristically soft. “And just let me drive us both home. Okay?”

Something in Jiwoo’s heart breaks at Sooyoung’s tired tone. She never thought she’d ever feel _sorry_ for someone she’d thought was perfect her whole life. “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay,” is all Sooyoung says.

Sooyoung unlocks the car, and they get in, with Jiwoo sliding into the passenger seat. Once they’ve finally settled in, and the older girl starts the car, Jiwoo sees Sooyoung’s shoulder slump. She has _never_ seen the captain have less than perfect posture, has never seen her sit in a way that was less than graceful or elegant looking. Here, inside the dimly lit car, she looks _human_ —young, still a teenager, _tired_.

Sooyoung doesn’t talk to her, respecting Jiwoo’s need for space, but maybe also just tired. When Jiwoo asks if she can play music, Sooyoung nods, not saying anything, and focusing on the road.

It’s become their tradition, maybe—playing music in the car to fill up all the gaps, to block out questions that could be asked.

Neither of them talk throughout the whole drive, with Ariana Grande’s _thank u, next_ album just playing mindlessly in the background. When they arrive at Jiwoo’s house, Sooyoung parks in front of the driveway and heaves a big sigh. “Here we are.”

“Thank you,” Jiwoo softly says. _Yes_ , she’s still mad and hurt, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be grateful.

“Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says after awhile. “I really am sorry, you know? Just…” She sighs. “Just in case you didn’t think I was.”

Jiwoo nods. She believes her, she always has. She just needed her time to cool off. “Yeah, I know.”

“Okay, if you know.”

Jiwoo doesn’t know what compels her, but she reaches for Sooyoung’s arm and touches it. Sooyoung looks at her in mild surprise, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh…I haven’t forgiven you yet,” Jiwoo quickly says, and Sooyoung’s mild surprised expression reverts back to her neutral mask, “but…I’ll forgive you soon. I’m not as mad or hurt as I was.”

“Oh,” is all Sooyoung says for awhile. She lets a small smile play on her lips. “Thank you. It wasn’t your fault at all. I was just…I’m the captain.” She suddenly looks tired all over again. “It’s not that it’s some big secret, like it’s not against the rules or anything, but I just felt like…the same rules don’t apply to me. I always have to be a bit more proper, not some girl messing with another girl in the backseat of her car. I shouldn’t have snapped at you, though. It wasn’t your fault.”

Jiwoo smiles at her, understanding her logic. “Yeah, I get that now. I understand, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt, but it’s going to be okay.”

“Okay.”

They stare at each other for a few more seconds, and Jiwoo realizes her hand is still on Sooyoung’s arm. Suddenly, Sooyoung’s face is _so_ close, and she looks so pretty, she always does, even if she’s exhausted, and Jiwoo has missed the way she tasted.

She leans in and kisses Sooyoung out of nowhere. Sooyoung doesn’t respond at first, probably shocked, but after a while of Jiwoo’s gentle lips moving against hers, she starts kissing her back. It’s short, and a lot sweeter than all of their other kisses. The taste of green apples attack all of Jiwoo’s senses, and she allows it to take over her for just a second longer, savoring it.

It’s Jiwoo that pulls back this time. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Jiwoo gets out, and walks to her front door. She looks back, and sees that Sooyoung hasn’t driven away. Only when she enters her house does Sooyoung go home.

//

That night, when Jiwoo’s tucked in bed with no homework or parents to distract her, she thinks about the soft kiss and Sooyoung—how the older girl hadn’t seemed so ethereal in that moment, how _young_ Sooyoung had looked, how _real_ she was right then and there, not too far, not the girl in the cheer videos Jiwoo used to watch, not the queen bee in school reigning over everyone, and definitely not the steel-willed captain she was in the gym, in that moment, inside that car, she’d been something else, something touchable.

Jiwoo sleeps, thoughts of thawing winters and soft looks in her dreams.

//

Jungeun picks her up at 9:40 AM, and doesn’t look tired at all. Jungeun _always_ slept early, always before 10pm, and always woke up, at like, 8 AM on the weekends, which still eludes Jiwoo to this day.

As Jiwoo wipes the sleepiness off her eyes, and gets inside the car, she’s happy to see some coffee and breadsticks from the bakery she and Jungeun usually frequented.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, sleepily eating the breadsticks.

Jungeun throws her a smile. “No problem. How are you feeling?”

“Mm,” is all Jiwoo can say at first, mouth still full. She swallows. “Uh, better, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Jungeun smiles again. “I’m happy, then.”

“Sooyoung…” Jiwoo starts, unsure of how much she can really divulge. It feels wrong, to talk about the intimate moment in detail. It seemed like a private thing between just her and Sooyoung. “She apologized again. Four times, actually, by now at least.”

“Oh. Wow, that’s surprising.” Jungeun shrugs. “Did you forgive her?”

“I think I already do. I just needed more time, which I’m happy she gave me. She…she’s really been making up for it.”

“I’m happy she’s being mature about it. At least we know she isn’t a _real_ asshole.”

“Yeah.” Jiwoo picks at her drink. “I don’t think she is at all.”

“Is she gonna be at the house?”

She nods. “As far as I know, yeah.”

Jungeun smirks. “Does she know _you’re_ sleeping over?” She wiggles her eyebrows at Jiwoo.

“ _Stop that_ , and I don’t know if Hyejoo told her, but if she’s there, I think…I think I might talk to her. She deserves to know I forgive her.”

Jungeun nods. “That’s good. I’m all for forgiveness. I trust you when you say she’s been really genuine.”

“Yeah.”

“Is talk _all_ you’re gonna do?”

“ _Jungeun_ , stop it.” Jiwoo blushes. She remembers the kiss last night, and all their other kisses. “Of course! We’re there for Hyejoo. I wouldn’t mess around with her sister there…”

“Okay, if you say so.”

“I hate it when you make that face.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooyoungie :(( poor baby ALSO SLEEPOVER TIME 0-0 ARE WE EXCITED TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN? BECAUSE I AM
> 
> BCOS I HAVE A PRESENT COMING UR WAY BABIES
> 
> pls let me know what u think ! :>
> 
> new shoutout to all these readers for leaving comments that rlly made me happy (this is a diff list from my previous one, as i wanna shoutout diff people every time) will do more soon <3 
> 
> reluctant_duck  
> yvestrap  
> J  
> conseul  
> gyurify  
> 2901god  
> peach_wish  
> Chuum  
> Yoyo  
> prex  
> fruityloops  
> taeyeonaniya  
> choochoochuuves  
> astreo  
> luvheejin
> 
> don't forget to drop some comments :> knowing what u felt rlly helps motivate me to write :>


	29. twenty nine

When they near Sooyoung and Hyejoo’s house, and the large golden gate comes into view, Jungeun lets out a low whistle. “They’re… _loaded_? Of course, they are. _Of course._ ”

“Wait until you see the _inside_ of the house,” Jiwoo tells her. Even calling the place a house feels like the biggest understatement of the century—it was _huge_.

“Hyejoo does _not_ act like she’s a fucking millionare,” Jungeun comments.

“Yerim told me Hyejoo’s always been well off, but that it’s Sooyoung’s dad who’s, like, crazy rich,” Jiwoo tells her.

“Speaking of which, you should text her to let us in.”

_hye, we’re here :D_

**oh, nice**

**gate’s gonna open, we’re just in my room**

_is yerimmie there already? :)_

**yup, just me, her, and chaewon**

**we’re playing super smash bros rn**

**just go up**

_okie see u_

_:D_

**u too**

“They’re just playing video games in Hyejoo’s room. Yerim’s already there.”

“ _Nice_. I’m gonna beat you this time.”

“You _never_ beat me at video games. You suck at them,” Jiwoo points out.

Jungeun rolls her eyes. “I’m like at a 1000 already in Candy Crush.”

“That’s a _mom_ game, Jungeun. Face it, you’re the mom friend. That’s your role in high school.”

“Shut up.”

//

“Fucking _shit_ ,” Jungeun says, when they’re let in by one of the workers. Jungeun and Jiwoo bow respectfully to her, and she kindly leads them upstairs. “We could’ve been hanging here everyday after school, and no one told me?”

Jiwoo stifles her laugh as she elbows her to be quiet. As the head down the hallway, they pass by Sooyoung’s room. Jiwoo pauses for a bit, wondering if the older girl was in there, or in some other part of the large house. She entertains the idea of knocking, and maybe saying hi, but before she can do anything, Hyejoo’s door opens, and Yerim excitedly steps out and launches herself at Jiwoo.

“Yay! You’re here!”

Jiwoo smiles as she hugs her back. “Yerimmie,” she says, her voice muffled in the girl’s hair.

“I guess I don’t exist _anymore_ ,” Jungeun playfully comments.

Yerim immediately pulls back and launches herself at Jungeun.

“Hey,” Chaewon greets them, head peeking out of the room. “Wanna come in and watch me beat Hye’s ass?”

“Oh, _for sure_ ,” Jiwoo says, entering the room.

“Shut up, Chae. You suck ass at super smash bros!” Hyejoo yells from the carpeted floor, where she’s sitting cross legged in front of the large flat screen TV.

//

The five of them battle it out in Smash Bros. for about two hours, with either Hyejoo or Chaewon coming up victorious, before Jiwoo finally groans and drops her controller.

“This is so unfair. You guys probably play this all the time!” She pouts.

Hyejoo just barks out a laugh, while Chaewon gives them all an angelic shrug. “It’s not our fault you guys suck at this.”

Yerim pouts as well. “Can we do something where maybe I can win…”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo says. “I wanna win too.”

“Well, it won’t be in a video game,” Hyejoo replies.

“What do you guys even do when you hang out?” Jungeun asks, already bored, having not really played.

“We…I think we just play video games and sleep,” Chaewon replies with a sheepish look. “Sometimes we binge watch shows.”

“I have board games, I think,” Hyejoo says.

Jiwoo perks up. “Monopoly?”

“Uno?” Yerim asks.

“I have those, I just need to look.” Hyejoo gets up and starts rummaging through one of her closets.

“Oh, they have a pool. We can swim. It’s not really hot out,” Chaewon offers.

Jungeun perks up. “Nice. I wanna swim.”

“Me too!” Yerim eagerly says. She pouts. “I didn’t bring a swimsuit, though.”

Hyejoo waves her off. “Don’t worry about it. I have _so_ much clothes.”

“I never bring my own shit. I just wear her shit,” Chaewon adds. “I’m literally wearing her shirt right now.”

“Ugh, _yes_. I haven’t swam in forever,” Jiwoo says. “Jungeun’s always swimming now.”

Jungeun sticks her tongue out. “Yeah, I swim…but like, for the swim team. Not for fun. Let’s goooooooo.”

“So, board games later?” Hyejoo asks.

They all nod, and she starts to rummage through her clothes, pulling out various swimsuits for them to wear.

//

Jiwoo picks a peach coloured two piece, and is surprised to see that it fits her. The first three that she’d tried hadn’t, as Hyejoo was a lot taller than her and had more _assets_ when it came to the chest department. She hops out of the bathroom, excited to go swimming, and turns around in the hallway to go back to Hyejoo’s room, just as Sooyoung’s door opens, and the older girl steps out.

“Jiwoo?” Sooyoung asks, confused.

Jiwoo immediately turns around, and blushes as she sees the older girl clad only in black booty shorts and tank top. She isn’t able to stop herself from the eyeing the older girl for a second. Sooyoung isn’t wearing a bra, she realizes, and she’s showing _so much_ skin, which Jiwoo should be used to by now, seeing as the older girl is usually clad in a sports bra and leggings when they train, but there’s something more intimate about seeing her here, in her own home, wearing nothing but extremely _short_ shorts, and a tight tank top accentuating the fact that she’s _braless_.

Jiwoo’s blush grows deeper. She doesn’t realize she’s still staring until, Sooyoung talks again.

“What are you doing _here_?” She just sounds confused, not particularly hostile or displeased, as she raises an eyebrow at the younger girl.

Jiwoo forces herself to process Sooyoung’s question. “Uh, Hye-Hyejoo invited me to sleep over…”

“Oh,” is all Sooyoung says for awhile. “I forgot you guys were close.”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence falls on them, and Jiwoo can’t get bring herself to look at the older girl, so she sort of just looks everywhere _but_ her.

“Are you…going swimming?” Sooyoung asks after a bit.

Jiwoo just nods.

“I see.”

They both don’t say anything again, and when Jiwoo glances at the captain, she sees her staring hard at Jiwoo. That’s the only time Jiwoo remembers she’s wearing a bikini. In front of Sooyoung. This is the _most_ skin she’s ever shown the older girl. She immediately tries to cover herself up with her arms, but it doesn’t do much.

“Sorry,” she says, not really knowing what she’s saying sorry for. “Uh, should I have…told you I was coming here?”

Sooyoung waves her off. “No, it’s fine.” She clears her throat. “You…are we okay now?”

“Uh…um…” Jiwoo fumbles for a bit, not really knowing how to say what she wants to say. “I- well, I was gonna talk to you about it. Some time. I just didn’t expect…like, right _now_.”

“I see. I shouldn’t have asked so soon anyways.”

“No!” She accidentally blurts out loudly. She lowers her voice. “ _No_ , I mean. We’re fine. Now. Like, uh, I already…I forgive you.”

She sees Sooyoung smile a bit. She looks relieved. “Oh, well then, I’m glad. I really was…sorry. Sorry, again. In case…”

“No, it’s okay! I…yeah…I know. I believe you.” Jiwoo smiles at her. “I do.”

“Okay, if you do.”

“Okay.”

They grow quiet once more. Sooyoung suddenly walks towards her, until they’re face to face.

“Um,” is all Jiwoo can really say at the sudden proximity.

“You look really good,” Sooyoung tells her, gaze heavy, voice low.

“Th-thanks.” Jiwoo gulps.

Sooyoung takes one last step forward until they’re almost pressed against each other. Jiwoo’s face feels warm, and her mouth is suddenly dry. She licks her lips, and Sooyoung’s heavy gaze drops to follow the motion.

“Are the others busy right now?” The older girl suddenly asks out of nowhere.

“Um, I don’t know. I think they’re still trying on swimsuits…I’m not really, uh, sure.”

“Okay,” is all Sooyoung says before placing a hand under Jiwoo’s chin, tilting her head up, and _kissing_ her right then and there in the middle of the hallway. Jiwoo gasps in surprise, and Sooyoung’s tongue and the taste of green apples immediately invade her mouth, and all she can really do is close her eyes and start kissing the older girl in return.

The kiss isn’t gentle, nor is it patient, it almost feels desperate—almost feels as if Sooyoung had been wanting to kiss her again like this as much as Jiwoo had wanted it. Sooyoung presses her body into Jiwoo’s, and with their minimal amount of clothing, it feels like everything of Jiwoo’s is touching everything of Sooyoung’s. The older girl keeps pushing her until Jiwoo’s back presses flush against the wall, but the captain never breaks the kiss at all.

When Jiwoo realizes she needs air, and pulls back a little, Sooyoung growls under her breath, and pulls her back in, hands grasping at Jiwoo’s backside. Jiwoo blushes and tries to suppress the moan that threatens to escape her mouth at the sudden contact. She’s never been touched _there_. Sooyoung and her just go at it, kissing and gasping, their hands trying to touch everything, until Sooyoung pulls back.

Jiwoo is panting when Sooyoung pulls away, and she’s pretty sure her lips are swollen just like the older girl’s.

Jiwoo wants _more_ , she realizes, when disappointment suddenly washes over her. She hadn’t gotten to touch Sooyoung enough, and Sooyoung looked _so_ good right now, standing in the hallway in shorts and a tanktop pressed against her breasts, revealing her hardening nipples. Her hair encapsulates her face in a silky mane cascading down her shoulders, and her legs seem endless in her shorts.

The older girl’s gaze is dark and heavy, and she opens her mouth to say something, right when Hyejoo’s door opens, and the girls noisily pile out, talking amongst themselves.

“—I _told_ you it was going to be a bad idea,” Hyejoo is saying, while Chaewon pouts, and Yerim giggles.

“I don’t know in what world,” Jungeun replies. “Would anyone think it would be a good idea to put glue in a shampoo bottle as a prank idea.”

“I was young!” Chaewon defends herself.

Hyejoo shakes her head. “ _And_ evil. My mom had a heyday trying to get all the glue out of my hair.”

“I got grounded for a week by my parents when they found out.” Chaewon pouts again.

They keep talking and joking around, until they realise Jiwoo is there, and that Sooyoung is too. Jungeun’s a little surprised at first, but the look she throws Jiwoo is suggestive enough to make Jiwoo blush. Chaewon and Yerim are just a little confused, while Hyejoo raises an eyebrow at the both of them.

“Hi cap,” Yerim cheerfully says, greeting the older girl.

Sooyoung schools her face into her usual neutral expression. “Hi, Yerim.”

“Jiwoo, we were wondering what happened to you,” Hyejoo comments.

“ _Yeah_ ,” Jungeun agrees with an evil glint in her eye. “What took you so long?”

Jiwoo’s face gets redder. “Uh—well, I just…I was—“

“—she ran into me,” Sooyoung smoothly says. “And we talked for a bit. I told her to fix her flips.”

Hyejoo and Jungeun look like they don’t buy it at all, but Yerim and Chaewon just nod like it makes sense.

“ _Well_ ,” Hyejoo says. “We’re going swimming.”

“Wanna come with us?” Chaewon asks Sooyoung.

Sooyoung shrugs. “I’ll think about it. Have a good time, though.” With that being said, she gives Jiwoo one last look that Jiwoo can’t decipher, before she goes back into her room.

“Shut up,” Jiwoo mutters to Jungeun when they start walking toward the pool, and Jungeun looks like she’s about to tease her.

“What happened to your _I’d never do that to Hyejoo…that’s her sister!_ argument?” Jungeun whispers to her.

“I said, _shut it_ , Jungeun.”

Jungeun just laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the sleepover has just started and these two can't stop themselves,,, anyways thoughts on jiwoo forgiving our cap? i think soo has earned redemption <3 hbu guys?
> 
> what r u guys excited to see in the sleepover? 
> 
> thank u for always commenting and complimenting the story. as i've shared before, i've never written anything like this :(( thank u and im always DOING my best to give u guys good, consistent, content and iM SORRY if i fall flat sometimes :(( love yall


	30. thirty

“You guys are so fucking loaded,” Jungeun says as they reach the large pool in the backyard, which was right next to a jacuzzi.

“You should see their summer house in Jeju,” Chaewon nonchalantly shares.

“First of all,” Jiwoo says, holding a hand up. “A _summer_ house? And second of all, _you’ve_ been there?”

Hyejoo shrugs. “It’s Sooyoung’s family’s summer house, and Chae and I have been best friends since we were kids, so when when Sooyoung’s dad and my mom got together, Chae went with us last summer.”

“Her family’s in love with me. I’m gonna start going with them every summer,” Chaewon proudly tells them. “Apparently, Hyejoo gets into a bearable mood whenever I’m around.”

Hyejoo snorts. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”

Chaewon rolls her eyes. “I don’t _need_ to, your mom always tells me.”

“I still find it weird that you talk to her more than I do.”

As they banter back and forth, Jiwoo realizes that only her and Jungeun are reacting, and that Yerim has grown exponentially more quiet. Jiwoo turns her head to subtly watch Yerim, and sees that her expression, which Yerim never really controls, showcases a hint of sadness and jealousy— _longing_ , Jiwoo realizes. She shifts closer to Yerim, and wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her in.

“Hey,” she says, smiling at the other girl.

Yerim gives her a weak smile. “Hey.”

“You look upset,” Jiwoo softly tells her.

“I—“ Yerim sighs. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She wants to tell Yerim not to mind it, but she knows that won’t work. “I’m here. Let’s play around, okay?”

Yerim nods. “Okay.”

“Now, smile. I don’t like seeing your frown,” Jiwoo says in a cute voice.

Yerim playfully rolls her eyes, but she gives Jiwoo her best brightest smile.

“There we go,” Jiwoo says, bopping her nose.

//

Jiwoo has never lacked when it came to the facet of her life that required friendship. She’d always been kind, maybe even to a fault, and loud, and fun-loving—these three things, coupled with her easy-to-get-along with nature and unproblematic ways, made it fairly simple for her to make friends. Back home, Jungeun and her had a sizeable friend group that wasn’t necessarily exclusive, but instead just bonded together by the years of growing up together. Jiwoo had also been a cheerleader in a small town, and in middle school, that meant it was easy to be liked, as long as you weren’t being a cliche bitch about it.

Moving to Seoul had been a bit tough on her at first. The idea of having to uproot her life and take it elsewhere, when she’d spent fifteen years of it already there, had hurt her. The only solace, perhaps, had really been that Jungeun’s family had moved as well, and that they decided to start high school in the same school.

The adjustment period during that summer had been tough. Making friends as a teenager that hasn’t started high school yet and that did not have a part time job wasn’t exactly the easiest, especially in an unfamiliar environment such as Seoul. So, Jiwoo hadn’t made any new friends. She spent the summer with Jungeun, video-calling their old friends back home, and just doing a whole montage of random things. It wasn’t _sad_ , but it wasn’t perfect either.

When school started, she hadn’t made any new friends of substance during the first two weeks—just easy acquaintances from classes. It had mostly just been Jungeun, which was not as much of an adjustment for Jungeun, as it was for Jiwoo, who was used to big groups. She had a lot of love to give, but no one but Jungeun to really shower her affection and time on.

Now, looking at Hyejoo carrying Yerim on her shoulders, while Chaewon clung to her arm, and Jungeun sprayed them all with a water gun, Jiwoo couldn’t help but be thankful she’d joined the cheersquad. She would have never made a friend group so soon to help soothe her growing loneliness without it.

“Jiwoo, can you _help_ me?” Hyejoo complains, as Yerim refuses to get off her shoulder, nor Chaewon on her arm, the two trying to dunk the girl in the water, while Jungeun attacked all three of them, still fairly dry.

Jiwoo is pulled from her reprieve. “Sure!” She cheerfully says, as she launches herself at Hyejoo as well, causing the other girl to groan.

“Betrayal!”

//

They swim for around an hour and a half, before they get called in for lunch by one of the servants. By then, they’re all exhausted and worn out, having not _chilled_ at all, but instead engaged in multiple battles in the water. They dry off, and make their way inside the house, with Hyejoo and Chaewon using her bathroom, while Jungeun, Yerim, and Jiwoo went off to use other bathrooms in the house.

While she takes a shower, Jiwoo is finally alone and able to think about her kiss with Sooyoung. She shivers a little, even if the shower water is warm, as she thinks about the way Sooyoung had said _you look good_ , and how dark her eyes had been, how aggressive the kiss had been. If Jiwoo closes her eyes, she can imagine all of it in great detail—how soft Sooyoung’s hips were, how it felt to be pressed against her, chest to chest, how Sooyoung’s hands groped her like she had to _touch_ all of Jiwoo in that moment.

She shivers again, and opens her eyes.

Jiwoo’s never really had these type of thoughts until the older girl came along. She’s pretty sure she’s only ever touched herself, like seven times her whole life. She’d just never been particularly horny, had never really been _interested_ in sex. She’d always been a romantic—daydreaming about the soft things, things like holding hands, and hugging, and kissing _without_ tongue. That’s all she had ever really fantasized about, and that’s why it strikes her in a weird way that _that_ isn’t what she wants from Sooyoung, at least she doesn’t think so.

It’s like what she wants from Sooyoung is the rough kisses, and the grinding, and groping. She wants to _touch_ Sooyoung, wants to be _touched_ by Sooyoung.

Jiwoo’s pretty sure she’s really never felt like this before, not by herself, and definitely not with anyone else. Was it because she was a freshman just shy of sixteen? Was it because it was Ha Sooyoung, and this was just the type of reaction she brought out of people? Was Jiwoo just some late bloomer? She didn’t know.

Jiwoo sighs, as she finishes washing herself off, turning off the water, and drying up with a towel. She throws on an oversized white t-shirt on, and some girl boxer shorts.

“Jiwooooooooming,” Jungeun drawls from outside the bathroom, knocking on the door. “Hurry up, I’m hungry!”

“Sorry!” Jiwoo squeaks out. “I’m here, I’m here.”

//

She doesn’t know why she never thought they would be eating lunch with Sooyoung. It perfectly makes sense that the older girl would join them for lunch, since the people in this large ass home seemed extra as _fuck_ , and served a lot of food per meal, so it’d be a waste to just not eat together, and to have the staff prepare a separate meal just for yourself. So, of course, when Jungeun and Jiwoo reach the dining hall, Sooyoung is seated at the head of the table, just like at the cheer sleepover.

Sooyoung watches Jiwoo as Jiwoo tries to hide her blush once she sits down just a chair away from Sooyoung. All the other girls are already digging into their meals, not really talking, but Yerim does smile at Jiwoo.

Jiwoo piles copious amounts of food on her plate, and ravenously digs in, and Jungeun doesn’t even make fun of her for it, because the other girl’s too busy being overwhelmed by the sheer amount of food displayed in front of them.

Once Jiwoo’s finished her second serving of _everything_ , she finally manages to look up from her plate, and her eyes automatically zone in on Sooyoung, who, from the whole thirty minutes they’d all been there in the dining hall, still has the exact same things on her plate with just a little dent of what she ate. Jiwoo furrows her eyebrows. She’s starting to notice a particular pattern when it came to Sooyoung and food, and she’s not sure if she likes where it’s going.

She’s not sure if it’s something to be worried about, or if it was her place to be worried about it.

Sooyoung realizes Jiwoo’s looking at her after awhile, and she raises an eyebrow at the younger girl, and tilts her head to the side. Jiwoo gives her a bright smile, not sure if there’s some unspoken conversation she’s missing that Sooyoung’s trying to convey.

Sooyoung suddenly looks down at her lap, and Jiwoo is left even more confused. After awhile, she feels her phone vibrate on her own lap.

**jiwoo**

Jiwoo bites her lip and hastily replies, trying not to seem too obvious as to alert Jungeun.

_hi :)_

**do u think u can get away from them later**

**or something**

_uh maybe when we’re back in the room, and like_

_theyre all playing video games or board games_

_why?_

**can you go to my room then**

**when you get away from them later**

_Oh,_ it suddenly clicks in Jiwoo’s mind. She blushes.

_okay, sure :)_

Sooyoung doesn’t text back anymore, instead she looks up from her lap, and so does Jiwoo, and their eyes lock. Sooyoung raises an eyebrow at her and gives her a small lopsided smile. Jiwoo blushes a deep red, as she just nods her head.

“Well, I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the day,” Sooyoung says, excusing herself from the dining table.

“Thanks, cap! See you around!” Yerim chirps from her seat.

“See you, Soo. We’re gonna play some boardgames later. Maybe you can stop by,” Chaewon warmly says. Out of all the new girls, besides Hyejoo, Chaewon always seemed to be particularly well acquainted with Sooyoung. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that she was Hyejoo’s best friend, but it never failed to surprise Jiwoo just how casually she often spoke with the captain.

“I’ll think about it,” Sooyoung tells them, taking her leave from the room.

“She’s kinda…she’s not that bad,” Jungeun tells Jiwoo.

Jiwoo smiles. “No, she isn’t.”

“She’s just kinda dead on the inside.”

“ _Jungeun_.”

“Like Hyejoo, except scarier,” Jungeun continues.

“You’re so annoying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh sooyoung, oh jiwoo is all i can really say HAHAHAH
> 
> anyway the whole haseul-eunbi situation will slowly be explained in the next few chapters, with haseul finally showing up soon...very soon...
> 
> what did u guys think of this chapter 0-0 not me @ing Sooyoung who invited Jiwoo to her room UYUEBDU2BDI2U3BEI2UB3IE
> 
> also just so yall know im a big yeorry and hyerim and hyewon shipper so even im not yet sure which will be endgame SO HAHAHAHA
> 
> as always, i read ur comments from last time and i was super touched :> thank u for all the nice comments DUHUDI2 i love u all :> hope u enjoyed this one, LET ME KNOW WATCHA THINK !!


	31. thirty one

They decide to play some UNO once they get upstairs, too lazy to set up Monopoly. Hyejoo and Chaewon, who usually win every thing they play, are frustrated because Yerim seems to be beating everyone’s asses in the game. By the time they’re at their fourth round of UNO, Jiwoo decides she can slip away and feign going to one of the bathrooms.

She gets up, and excuses herself, with Hyejoo, Chaewon, and Yerim too engrossed in playing to take note of the fact that she was going outside to use a bathroom, when Hyejoo had one in her room. Jungeun isn’t as distracted. She opens her mouth, as if to question Jiwoo’s logic, when Jiwoo gives her a wide-eyed look.

Jungeun, thank all the Gods, gets it, as she makes a zipping motion on her lips.

Jiwoo slips away.

Standing in front of Sooyoung’s room, she takes a deep breath, and mentally tries to prepare herself. First, she was going to _see_ the inside of the older girl’s room, which, for her, is a pretty big deal. It seems like a nice level up from backseats and hallways. Second, _Sooyoung is probably waiting for her inside, and they are most probably going to mess around_ , which is exciting Jiwoo more than it really should.

Jiwoo decides she can’t really afford to waste time, not when her excuse was just using the bathroom for awhile, so she takes a deep breath in, exhales it, and gently knocks on the door. Sooyoung opens it almost immediately.

“Uh, hi,” Jiwoo awkwardly greets her. “I managed to slip away for awhile.”

Sooyoung gives her a small smile, and places a hand on her arm. “Come on.” She pulls Jiwoo into her room without another notice, and closes the door.

//

Jiwoo’s a big believer in the idea of how someone’s personal room really reflects a part of who they are, which is part of the reason why she’s so excited and intrigued by the idea of stepping into Sooyoung’s room. A person’s room is their sanctum, a place they can relax and be themselves—a place away from everyone and everything, and for someone like Sooyoung, who intrigues and confuses Jiwoo, it feels a lot like a chance to get to know the older girl.

Sooyoung’s room is just as large as Hyejoo’s, maybe even a bit bigger. She’s clean, not necessarily extremely organized, but clean—everything is where it has to be, and there aren’t unnecessary things around, like the stray socks in Jiwoo’s room, or the random books on her desks. The older girl has an impressive collection of trophies—almost all from cheer, but some, she realizes from local dancing competitions.

Sooyoung also has a wall decorated with photos that’s right next to her bed. It surprises Jiwoo, as she hadn’t really pegged the older girl to be the sentimental type, but then again, she doesn’t really know Sooyoung at all, not really.

Sooyoung has dates written under some of the pictures, and she seems to have grouped them together according to when they were taken. Her freshman year photos show a smaller, fuller looking Sooyoung—her hair is long and reaches her back, not the shoulder length hairstyle she carries now, and she’s rarely alone in the photos. She’s always with this other girl, a pretty girl with smiling eyes and black hair that also reaches her waist. They’re both wearing cheer uniforms, and Jinsol is right next to them, hair bleached blonde, and face making a weird shape. Sophomore Sooyoung seems taller, she’s grown taller than both Jinsol and the other girl, and now Heejin and Hyunjin start to appear in a couple of the photos. Jiwoo vaguely remembers that Heejin and Hyunjin are a year beneath Sooyoung and Jinsol. In the photos, Heejin, Sooyoung, and that _girl_ who Jiwoo doesn’t know, seem particularly close. There’s one where Sooyoung’s carrying Heejin over her shoulder, while the _girl_ is laughing, trying to help Heejin get off. As the pictures taper off toward the end of sophomore year, the pictures start becoming less frequent. Sooyoung’s face grows sharper, and thinner; her smiles are half-meant, and the _girl_ is gone. It’s just Sooyoung, Heejin, Hyunjin, Jinsol, and occasionally Yeri and Joy. There’s one that includes a reluctant Hyejoo, who has a charming Chaewon smiling brightly at the camera. At the junior year part, Jiwoo realizes there are no pictures at all.

Jiwoo’s eyes can’t help but scan the wall, and she finds a separated section near Sooyoung’s bed’s headboard that seems to be exclusively cheer photos, either from competitions or outings. There are other unfamiliar faces, but there’s one photo—it has a smiling Sooyoung, still with long hair, smiling brightly at the camera, her arms around _the girl_ , and Heejin, while Hyunjin stares blankly at the camera, Jinsol opens her mouth wide into the largest ‘O’ shape Jiwoo has ever seen, and Joy gives Yeri a piggyback ride. That’s when Jiwoo sees another girl. The girl is different from the one she doesn’t know the name of, but she does appear in a lot of the cheer photos. She’s holding hands with _the girl_ Sooyoung seems close with, and smirking at the camera. It’s the only picture that has words written at the bottom of it.

_To nationals! Haseul told me to give this to you, so you’ll stop being grumpy! - Eunbi (SinB bITCH) <3 _

Eunbi…and Haseul…the names that seem to haunt the other girls on the team. But which was which? Jiwoo didn’t know.

Jiwoo doesn’t realize she’d spent such a long time looking around until Sooyoung clears her throat. Jiwoo immediately whips her head around to face the older girl, blushing.

“Sorry,” she immediately says. “I…”

“It’s okay,” Sooyoung tells her.

“You have a lot of photos.”

“Yeah,” Sooyoung says, and then pauses. Her eyes grow a little distant, as if remembering something. “Uh, Haseul liked taking photos.”

“Oh.” There again, _Haseul_. Does that mean the girl she didn’t know the name of could be Haseul? And the other one must have been Eunbi. “That’s really nice. It’s cool that you guys seem close. You told us Haseul was a senior in the very first meeting.”

Sooyoung just nods. “Yeah. She’s a year older than Jinsol and me.”

Jiwoo feels like this is a land mine that she shouldn’t be walking on. “That’s nice.” She looks at the trophies. "I didn't know you were _that_ good at..."

Sooyoung gives her a strained smile. "Yeah, hip hop was a really big part of my life, but cheer just sort of took over."

Jiwoo doesn't know what else to say, not really. Ever since she'd asked about Haseul, Sooyoung's whole disposition had changed.

Sooyoung doesn’t say anything more either. She just walks closer to Jiwoo, and wraps an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. “Can I kiss you?” she asks, but it sounds a lot like _Can we not talk about this?_

It doesn’t matter to Jiwoo—everything always sort of disappears when Sooyoung gets close to her, and the smell of green apples, and the sight of her plump pink lips always render Jiwoo distracted from everything else. Jiwoo quietly nods, already closing her eyes, and leaning into the older girl’s touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello early update today ! <3 
> 
> some snippets revealed about sooyoung before :(( hope she learns to be happy again
> 
> ALSO WARNING: steamy chapter coming up
> 
> LET ME KNOW WHAT U THINK BBS <3 :>


	32. thirty two

Sooyoung kisses her. Jiwoo doesn’t know if it’s because she’d brought Haseul up by accident, but the kiss feels a lot like Sooyoung’s trying to kiss the breath out of her, so that they won’t ever have to talk about things. The kiss is quick and rough, and it’s the first kiss between them that’s ever lacked grace or rhythm. Jiwoo pulls back, unable to keep up with the erratic rhythm.

Sooyoung doesn’t chase after her lips immediately, instead, she presses their foreheads together. “Sorry,” is all she says, but Jiwoo doesn’t know what she’s saying sorry for.

Instead of answering, Jiwoo leans in to kiss her again, this time to a slow steady rhythm. Sooyoung follows the movement of her lips, and it’s the first time Jiwoo has ever really led a kiss between them. All the other times, even the softer ones, even when it had been her who kissed Sooyoung first, the older girl had taken control.

Jiwoo wraps her arms around Sooyoung’s neck, and Sooyoung’s arm, which was snaked around her waist, pulls her impossibly closer. When Jiwoo experimentally nips at the older girl’s bottom lip, Sooyoung makes a low sound that Jiwoo can feel vibrate against her chest. Jiwoo takes advantage—and maybe this kiss is one where she does a lot of things first—because, she gently uses her tongue to probe inside Sooyoung’s mouth, unsure of what she’s really doing.

The older girl gasps in surprise against the sudden action, but nonetheless her own tongue comes out to play, and the kiss starts turning more heated, with Sooyoung finally regaining the assertiveness she usually always has. Sooyoung starts increasing the pace of the kiss, and at one point, bites at Jiwoo’s bottom lip, and sucks on it, making the younger girl moan into their kiss.

Jiwoo doesn’t even realize Sooyoung’s other hand had made it under her shirt, until she feels a hand on her bare breast, making her pull away from the kiss. “ _Oh_ ,” she says, as Sooyoung palms her right breast, playing with her nipple. Sooyoung attaches her lip to the spot beneath Jiwoo’s ear, just above her jawline, that’s _really_ sensitive, and nips at the area, alternating between sucking and biting, making Jiwoo’s legs feel like jello.

“Bed,” Sooyoung suddenly says, manoeuvring them toward her bed, until Jiwoo feels the back of her knees come into contact with it. Jiwoo sits down on the bed, and has to stop herself from moaning when Sooyoung straddles her.

Jiwoo’s hands automatically find purchase on Sooyoung’s hips, and the older girl wraps her arms around Jiwoo’s neck, kissing her all over again. While they roughly kiss, Jiwoo feels herself feel another spark of boldness, as she places her hands on Sooyoung’s ass and squeezes. The older girl hums into her mouth in approval, and has to pull away from the kiss to grind down on Jiwoo’s lap. Jiwoo wants _more_ , as she attaches her lips to Sooyoung’s neck. This is the first time she’s _ever_ felt in control, and she _likes_ it.

She copies what Sooyoung does to her—she bites, and licks, and sucks—and Sooyoung makes a series of gasps, while rhythmically grinding her core down against Jiwoo. Jiwoo doesn’t really know what she’s doing, but one of her hands move from Sooyoung’s backside, to Sooyoung’s breast, and she touches Sooyoung over the thin material of her tanktop.

The reaction is instant. Sooyoung leans back down to kiss her in approval, and Jiwoo feels the older girl’s nipple harden under her touch. She plays with it, tweaking it, pinching it, and pulling it, and Sooyoung bites at her bottom lip in response.

The feeling of Sooyoung grinding down against her, of her touching Sooyoung in this way, overwhelms Jiwoo in the best possible way. She pulls away from the kiss, and kisses Sooyoung’s neck again, more roughly this time, this time she accidentally bites too hard, because Sooyoung makes a high airy sound in the back of her throat, and Jiwoo pulls back.

“Fuck,” Sooyoung says, hand flying to her neck.

“ _I’m so sorry_ ,” Jiwoo hurriedly says, dropping the hand she’d been using to palm the other girl’s breast, and pulling the other one back from touching Sooyoung’s ass. “Sooyoung…”

“It’s okay,” Sooyoung says, panting above her. She pulls her hand back, and shows Jiwoo her neck. “Is there a…?”

On the left side of Sooyoung’s neck, near her shoulder, is an aggressive red spot that’s already bruising. “…fuck, I’m sorry,” is all Jiwoo can say.

She’s afraid the older girl will be mad. She’s not sure if they’re even allowed to leave marks, or if Sooyoung even likes stuff like that. She hadn’t meant it—she really hadn’t. She’s surprised when she hears Sooyoung chuckle.

She meets Sooyoung’s gaze, and finds humor in them, and Sooyoung’s _actually_ smiling at her. “It’s okay, you look terrified, Jiwoo.”

Jiwoo blushes. “Sorry! I don’t know. I’ve never given anyone…sorry,” she mumbles.

Sooyoung just shakes her head. “It’s okay, idiot.” She leans in and kisses Jiwoo again, gentle this time, and just before it can go anywhere, she pulls back. “You should go back. I think they’re gonna start looking for you.”

Right. Sleepover. She forgot about that. Sooyoung gets off her lap, and Jiwoo immediately gets off the bed.

“I’m sorry again,” she says for the third time, even if the older girl had said it was fine.

Sooyoung just hums in reply, and leads her to the door. She opens it for Jiwoo. They stare at each other for awhile, and Jiwoo feels kind off proud, staring at Sooyoung’s slightly swollen lips, and hickey.

“Have fun,” Sooyoung tells her.

“I’ll try,” she jokingly replies.

Sooyoung smiles at her again. Jiwoo can’t help herself, and kisses her one last time, and Sooyoung has to pull back from the kiss.

“Come on, we’re gonna get caught,” Sooyoung tells her in a tone that doesn’t even sound angry or demanding.

“Fine,” Jiwoo huffs. She leaves the room, and Sooyoung gives her one last smile, which she pouts to, before the older girl closes the door.

//

When Jiwoo reenters the room, she’s relieved to see that they’re all _still_ playing UNO, but also a little worried that they’re _still_ playing UNO. She’s pretty sure she’d been gone for at _least_ twenty minutes. As she sits down to watch them play, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, already ready to use her excuse of stomach problems if anyone got suspicious, but Yerim was still beating their asses, and Hyejoo and Chaewon were still frustrated. Even Jungeun doesn’t bat an eye at Jiwoo’s late entrance.

“I _can’t_ believe you won five games in a row,” Hyejoo mutters under her breath.

“Probability wise, you should have at least lost _once_ ,” Chaewon adds, throwing her cards down.

“There, there, children,” Yerim cooes at them. “Let’s not be sore losers.”

“But I _never_ lose this much,” Chaewon complains, pouting.

Hyejoo throws her cards down too. “I give up. I want to play something else.”

“Thank _god_ ,” Jungeun suddenly says, exasperated. “I was gonna pull my hair out if we played another round.”

Jiwoo perks up. “Does this mean we’re gonna play monopoly now?”

“Do you want to tear this group apart, Jiwoo?” Chaewon asks her. “Because if I _lose_ one more game…”

“Loser,” Hyejoo snorts.

“You’re just as bad,” Yerim calls her out.

Hyejoo playfully rolls her eyes and elbows Yerim, who pinches her cheek.

“ _Fine_ , then,” Jiwoo huffs out. “I was just suggesting. What are we gonna do then?”

“You guys are boring.” Jungeun leans against Jiwoo’s shoulder. “Why don’t we play Truth or Dare or something.”

“That’s so cliche,” Hyejoo says.

“ _Fine_ ,” Jungeun huffs out too. “What, then?”

Yerim hums thoughtfully. “I’m actually down for some Truth or Dare.”

“Me too,” Jiwoo adds.

“Hah, you’re outnumbered,” Chaewon pokes Hyejoo’s side.

“Okay, whatever,” Hyejoo sullenly complies. “Truth or Dare, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well...........
> 
> that was hot
> 
> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH oh soo oh jiwoo
> 
> what did u guys think abt this chapter? and is it just me or is sooyoung really growing soft
> 
> also i try my best to update daily but i also will have days where the updates might just be one or none at all sometimes i get pressured :'( srry srry


	33. thirty three

Truth or Dare starts out fairly simple—everyone picks truth at first, and get asked not-so-spicy questions, but as the amount of safe questions dwindle, and some of them grow bored of constantly choosing truth, the game starts to branch off into more exciting waters.

“Jungeun,” Chaewon says. “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” she answers, and Hyejoo groans in the background, mumbling something like “ _boring_ ” under her breath.

“Hm.” Chaewon gets an evil glint in her eye. “Have you ever _liked_ Jiwoo?”

Jiwoo scrunches her nose at trying to imagine Jungeun ever liking her. It seems absurd to her—Jungeun had always been a _mother_ friend, or maybe a sister, thinking of her in a romantic context always made her feel like she was performing some mild form of incest.

Jungeun shrugs, and looks unbothered. “ _Once_. Like, a long, _loooooong_ , time ago. When we were in like the third grade. I thought she was cute, but then she and I became friends, and I just found her annoying.”

“ _Hey!_ ” Jiwoo exclaims, playfully smacking her.

Jungeun laughs. “Aw, are you hurt?” She flutters her eyelashes. “You want a big bad best friend love story?”

“You’re _so_ annoying. I’ve said it before, and I’ll always fucking say it,” Jiwoo says, smacking her one last time.

Chaewon pouts. “Well, that was honest and not at all exciting like I thought it’d be.”

“Chaewon, Truth or Dare?” Jiwoo asks.

“Truth?”

“You sound unsure. You want to do a dare?”

Chaewon must have seen the playful look in Jiwoo’s eyes, cause she profusely shakes her head.

“Fine.” Jiwoo hums, thinking. “What do you honestly think about the head cheerleaders?”

“Huh…” Chaewon pauses for a bit, thinking. “Hm…well, I’ve known them since I was a kid, since we went to BBC Middle together, and now High, I guess. I don’t know. Sometimes, I think they know so much more than we do, which is fair, but it’s a little off-putting. No offense to your sister,” she tells Hyejoo, who shrugs. “Like, I’ve always liked Heejin and Jinsol, but to this day, I still don’t know shit about Hyunjin. Sooyoung’s okay, I mean, she’s a bit different now, but she’s okay.”

“I like Hyunjin,” Hyejoo says. “She never bothered me.”

“Of _course_ , you like the unblinking robot,” Chaewon says, teasing her.

“It’s my life’s goal.”

“You’re halfway there, already.”

“Okay,” Yerim says. “Jiwoo’s turn! Truth or Dare?”

Jiwoo shrugs. “Dare.”

“ _Fuck_ , yeah,” Hyejoo says under her breath.

Jungeun leans into Yerim. “Don’t waste this chance to make her do some dumb crap.”

“Okay, Jiwoo.” Yerim smiles at her. “I dare you to do a sexy dance to _It Will Rain_ by Bruno Mars in the living room.”

Jiwoo is starting to regret choosing dare, but she’s not one to back down. “Fine, come on.” She gets up, and they all follow her, laughing amongst themselves. They exit the room and go to the living room, where the four other girls seat themselves on the couches.

Yerim takes her phone out, and plays the song. “The _whole_ song,” she announces.

“ _Fine_ ,” Jiwoo says, rolling her eyes.

//

Jiwoo is halfway through the song, half lifting her shirt up, and doing a circular grinding motion, when for her sake, Jungeun, clutching her stomach, laughing her ass off, ends the song, and falls on the ground. Yerim is _crying_ into her hands, while Hyejoo saves the video she took on her phone, which Chaewon is insisting she _has_ to send to her.

Jiwoo is dedicated if anything. Even through her embarrassment, she pats herself on the back for the performance she put on. For two minutes, she’d been an emo stripper, and she’s proud of herself.

“Next,” Jungeun says, wiping her eyes, still laughing. “Okay, Yerim. Truth or Dare?”

“Dare, dare, dare, dare,” Jiwoo chants, eager for revenge.

Yerim heaves a dramatic sigh. “Dare, then.”

Jungeun smirks. “I dare you to give a lap dance to the prettiest girl in the room.”

“We’re _still_ in the living room,” Yerim complains.

“More exciting then,” Jungeun simply replies.

“Come on,” Jiwoo eggs her on. “I just legitimately did a strip tease to a non-sexy Bruno Mars song.”

“Okay, _okay_.” Yerim blushes. “I get to pick the song, though.” Yerim picks a song that feels like it was pulled from the 50 Shades of Grey movie album, and slowly starts to dance sensually.

Jiwoo almost forgets about Yerim’s crush on Hyejoo, as it’s something Yerim honestly barely talks about, but she _definitely_ remembers right now, because Yerim saunters toward Hyejoo with the sultriest expression Jiwoo has ever seen her made. She’s never associated _sexy_ with the other girl, because she’d always been a cutie pie like Jiwoo herself, but right now, Jiwoo would actually admit that Yerim looked pretty seductive.

Hyejoo’s expression is mostly unreadable, but Jiwoo notices the slight twitch of her lips, and her neck gets a little red once Yerim settles herself on her lap and starts grinding on it, their eyes meeting.

Yerim is a good dancer, Jiwoo observes. Her motions are all fluid and precise, and her expression is fully committed to someone really aiming to seduce someone else. Jiwoo’s pretty sure that if she’d been receiving _that_ lap dance, her face would have been beet red. She has no idea how Hyejoo’s managed to keep her hands still, and face mostly neutral.

When the song ends, Yerim sits on Hyejoo’s lap for a bit, and the two of them just sort of stare _really_ intensely at each other, up until Chaewon claps her hands out of nowhere.

“ _Okay_ ,” Chaewon says. “That’s enough, I think.”

Jungeun lets out a low whistle. “ _Damn_ , Yerim. I was expecting that to be funny, but…can I have one?”

Yerim giggles as she easily slides off Hyejoo’s lap and skips over to Jungeun. “Nope, but you can dream about it.”

“Ugh,” Jungeun groans. “I should’ve just dared you to do that to me instead.”

As Hyejoo gets off the chair they’d placed in the middle, and sits herself next to Chaewon, Jiwoo notices Chaewon stiffly move away from her a bit, and Hyejoo’s confused expression.

“Okay, next is Hyejoo,” Jiwoo says, trying to ease the atmosphere back into normalcy. “Truth or dare?”

“It’d be rlly hypocritical if you chose truth,” Jungeun teases.

Hyejoo rolls her eyes. “Dare. Go.”

“I dare you to give the prettiest girl here a peck on the lips,” Jungeun announces, a devilish smile playing on her lips.

“We said no kissing on our rules,” Hyejoo calmly states.

“Come _on_ ,” Jungeun insists. “Just a peck. That’s _barely_ a kiss. Right, Yerim?” She turns to the girl next to her.

Yerim flushes a deep red colour. “I guess so.”

Hyejoo rolls her eyes. “ _Fine_.” She stays still for a bit, probably deliberating, and Jiwoo reminds herself to pinch Jungeun so hard later that the other girl’s soul will leave her body for a few seconds. She knows she can’t blame Jungeun, the other girl doesn’t know about Yerim liking Hyejoo, and Hyejoo and Chaewon maybe dating, but _still_.

Hyejoo seems to have made up her mind, and as she’s about to move, whether it’s to turn to give Chaewon a kiss, or to get up and give Yerim a kiss, the sound of footsteps going up the stairs make her stop. All five of them whip their heads toward the staircase, where Jinsol suddenly appears. She looks winded, like she’s _ran_ a whole marathon, and her eyes are kind off frantic. The joking disposition she usually has on is gone.

She seems to notice all five of them, as she pauses for a bit. “Hi, sorry. Need. Sooyoung,” is all she says, as she speed walks toward Sooyoung’s room, unceremoniously opening the door, stepping inside, and slamming it shut.

“What was _that_ about?” Jungeun asks, raising an eyebrow. “Who is _she_?”

“Jinsol,” Jiwoo answers her. “She’s on the team too.”

“Is she okay?” Yerim asks. “She looked weird, right? Like…”

Hyejoo waves it off. “They’ve been doing that a lot recently.”

Chaewon nods. “Yeah, I sleep over here a lot,” she pauses to give Yerim a pointed look, “and sometimes Heejin, Hyunjin, or Jinsol, or all three of them will storm in, and just go to Soo’s room.”

“She looked weird though,” Yerim mumbles, avoiding Chaewon’s pointed stare.

Hyejoo shrugs. “Probably just school board stuff, or cheer stuff. Honestly, I can’t keep up with everything that’s been happening, and Sooyoung barely tells me shit.” She stands up. “I’m bored. Let’s watch a movie in my room or something.”

Jiwoo gets up, and follows her, but she can’t help but feel like something big was coming. She shares a worried look with Yerim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi did u miss me cos i missed yall
> 
> ANYWAYS UPDATES WILL START GOING BACK TO NORMAL SOON JUST HAD COLLEGE STUFF :(
> 
> let me know what u guys think is gonna happen and what yall thot of the chapter :>
> 
> as always, i read thru every single comment and they always fire me up to write more !


	34. thirty four

The five of them end up watching three movies—Lego: Batman, which has all of them rolling on the floor laughing, Marriage Story, which has Jiwoo crying disgustingly into her white t-shirt, and Chaewon and Hyejoo teasing her, Jungeun, and Yerim for sobbing when the credits roll, and Tangled, which, in Jiwoo’s opinion, is a movie she’s pretty sure she’ll never get tired of.

Once the credits of Tangled start to roll, they all sort of stretch, and talk a bit. Jiwoo’s stomach grumbling is what reminds them it’s roughly around dinner time. The five of them reach the general consensus of heading downstairs for dinner.

To be completely honest, Jiwoo’s grateful for the movie break they had. She sensed that something about the Truth or Dare game had gotten _almost_ out of hand, and was thankful they all just watched a couple of movies in silence, until they eased back into normalcy. It didn’t escape her notice, however, that Chaewon was being a little stiff around Hyejoo, as opposed to how she normally clung to the taller girl like Hyejoo was her lifeline. In turn, Hyejoo looked _way_ grumpier than usual, talking in clipped tones, and throwing Chaewon confused looks. Jiwoo _also_ noticed the weird stares Yerim and Hyejoo were sneaking behind everyone’s backs, and how Chaewon was obviously catching on to them, and so Jiwoo did her best to discreetly cover Yerim from Chaewon’s point of view.

For a supposedly fun sleepover that started out really great, things were getting a little too tense for Jiwoo’s liking.

She’s glad Jungeun’s there at least. Even if Jungeun’s teasing could sometimes go a little _too_ far, she at least helped Jiwoo keep everything normal between the girls, as she’d also probably caught on to the weird atmosphere surrounding everyone.

The five of them reach the dining hall, where the food isn’t there yet, but one of the servants does inform Hyejoo that it will be served soon. Sooyoung isn’t there either, and Jiwoo doesn’t know if Jinsol’s still inside the house or not. They all sit themselves down, and sit in relative silence for a bit.

Jiwoo decides to break it. “I’m kinda nervous for our first competition on Friday.”

“Oh, shit, so soon?” Jungeun asks, wide-eyed.

Jiwoo shrugs. “Yeah, apparently the team joins that competition as a _warm-up_.”

Hyejoo snorts. “I’ve never seen BBC lose SAK.”

“To be fair, I’ve never seen BBC lose _any_ cheer competition,” Yerim wistfully says. “I hope we don’t start now.”

Chaewon finally speaks up after being mostly mute for the past few hours. She seems less aggravated than she had been earlier. “I think our team’s pretty good. It’s just that most of us are freshmen.”

“Why is that, anyway? I expected more than just three sophomores, three juniors, and _no_ seniors at all…” Jiwoo trails off.

“Well, it used to make sense when Haseul and Eunbi were on the roster,” Hyejoo replies. “It’s their senior year right now, but then I guess them leaving makes the roster look kinda wonky.”

“The freshmen this year are _really_ good, though,” Yerim adds. “I’ve seen worse batches in the team.”

“Heejin, Hyunjin, and Yeri’s batch—the sophomores—were kinda lacking,” Chaewon says. “I think out of 25 people who auditioned, they were the only ones that made it.”

Yerim nods. “This year’s the first year they accepted so many of us.”

“Man, I wish I got to audition,” Jungeun suddenly says, sighing.

Jiwoo pouts. “Me too. But it’s not your fault. Your ankle was messed up.”

Jungeun groans. “Yeah, but now it’s better, and I’m not on the cheer team.”

“Oh, you used to cheer?” Yerim asks.

Jungeun nods. “Yeah, Jiwoo and I used to be teammates back in our old school.”

“That sucks,” Hyejoo bluntly says, “but, I mean, at least you got to try swimming out.”

Jiwoo eagerly nods her head, smiling. “Yeah, and you’re really good at it.”

“Yeah,” Jungeun agrees. “At least I got to try out the swim team. It’s been really fun, honestly.”

The five of them start to ease into more casual conversation, much of the awkwardness earlier finally giving way to jokes, and funny stories. After a while, the servants come in to serve dinner, and not long after do Sooyoung and Jinsol emerge from upstairs. The two of them enter the dining hall, with Jinsol looking less haggard than she had earlier, even looking completely normal now, as she threw all of them a big smile, and with Sooyoung keeping her usual neutral expression. Jiwoo also realizes that Sooyoung’s neck had a layer of foundation over it, covering any marks she would have had.

Jiwoo can’t help but vie a bit for Sooyoung’s gaze to fall on her, so she squirms a little on her seat, but Sooyoung doesn’t seem to notice or chooses not to mind it.

“Sleepover?” Jinsol asks them, as Sooyoung sits at the head of the table, and she takes the seat next to her.

Yerim nods. “It’s been fun!”

Jinsol raises an eyebrow. “More wholesome than the one we had as a team?”

“Well,” Chaewon speaks up. “Jungeun’s been trying her best to make sure it hasn’t been as wholesome as we intended it to be.”

Jungeun holds her hands up in mock innocence. “No shame in the game.”

Jinsol’s eyes suddenly fall on Jungeun, probably having noticed the new face in their group for the first time. She gives her a smile that seems almost predatory. Jiwoo knows that smile—it’s the one Jinsol gave her before she kissed her at the cheer slumber party.

“I’m Jinsol, nice to meet you.” She extends a hand over to Jungeun.

Jungeun easily takes it. “Jungeun.”

Their touch lingers a bit, and Jiwoo definitely does not miss the way Jungeun’s eyebrow twitches. They let go before it becomes awkward.

“You look better,” Hyejoo suddenly points out. “We thought you were running away from the law earlier.”

Jinsol rolls her eyes. “I might as well have been, honestly.” She seems like she’s about to divulge more information, but Sooyoung throws her a sharp look, and she shrugs instead. “I look perfect now, though, as always.”

Jungeun stifles a laugh. Jiwoo elbows her.

“ _What_?” Jungeun whispers to her.

“ _Don’t do that_ ,” Jiwoo whispers back. “I totally know what you’re thinking, and I hate it.”

Jungeun shrugs, and takes a sip of her water. “She’s cute,” is all she replies.

Jiwoo elbows her again. “She’s also one of the _head_ cheerleaders, Jungeun.”

“It’s not like I’m _doing_ anything, I just met her.”

“Just stop giving her that look. I know what you’re doing, even if you haven’t done it yet.”

“Ugh, _fine_.”

“Are you sleeping over?” Yerim asks Jinsol, as all of them start to eat.

Jinsol thoughtfully chews on a piece of meat. “I don’t know, actually. What do you say, Soo? We cuddling tonight or what?” She throws in a wink, which Sooyoung pointedly ignores.

“You can sleep over if you want,” is all the captain says.

“Aw, when you say it like _that_ , how can I say no?” Jinsol flutters her long eyelashes at the other girl.

By now, the other girls are giggling at Jinsol’s antics, while Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “You’re gonna end up sleeping on the floor if you keep talking.”

“A woman after my own heart. You’re always so generous,” Jinsol replies, leaning in to kiss Sooyoung’s cheek.

Jiwoo has never seen Sooyoung be touchy with anyone, maybe only Heejin, so the sudden action surprises her. She expected Sooyoung to react with annoyance, but instead the older girl just continues picking at her food, as if used to it by now. Jiwoo had never noticed how close Sooyoung and Jinsol were, but it made sense, since they were the same age, and have known each other the longest.

Jiwoo doesn’t understand the weird feeling she has right now, watching Jinsol playfully flirt with Sooyoung, while Sooyoung seems to mostly not mind. She shakes her head, and just ignores it, trying to enjoy the food.

As they eat, the conversation tapers off into other topics—mostly just Jinsol and Yerim talking everyone’s ears off, while Hyejoo and Chaewon pipe in now and then. Jiwoo, normally talkative, focuses more on eating and ignoring the way Jinsol’s hands seem to fall on top of Sooyoung’s, or the way she’d lean into the older girl whenever she’d laugh.

Jiwoo also notices how Jungeun’s eyes seem to track every movement Jinsol makes, which— _okay,_ Jinsol _is_ very attractive, fine.

_Fine_.

That’s just fine.

Sooyoung paying attention to Jinsol during dinner? Fine.

That’s fine.

Sooyoung not looking in Jiwoo’s direction, even _once_? Again, fine.

_Fine_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lipsoul rise anyone? HAHAHAHHAAHHA also someone's jealous 0-0 
> 
> what do we think? and been missing y'all i might have a surprise update coming soon so :>
> 
> TO ANY 2JIN FANS, i recently worked on a series rn for YOU 2JIN BABIES: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24468895
> 
> as always comments n kudos are MUCH MUCH DELICIOUS MWAH MWAH and keep me motivated to keep writing since i read thru all of them


	35. thirty five

Except, it really isn’t.

With the addition of Jinsol into their group, she actually manages to drag Sooyoung into spending time with them. Jiwoo vaguely remembers them inviting Sooyoung to swim and play boardgames, and how the captain had noncommittally said she’d think about it, without ever actually joining in, but Jinsol is aggressive, and it’s pretty obvious by now to everyone that Sooyoung has a soft spot for Heejin, Hyunjin, and Jinsol, maybe even Joy, and Yeri.

Sooyoung ends up joining them after dinner in the living room, though she looks quite reluctant, and sits herself on the corner couch, as if preparing to get away the moment Jinsol isn’t paying enough attention.

The other girls start to discuss what to do, if they’re going to play monopoly, or some video games, or watch _another_ movie, and while they’re all distracted talking to one another, Jiwoo sort of slowly but surely makes her way to where Sooyoung is seated, looking down on her phone.

“Hey,” Jiwoo says, flashing a bright smile at the older girl once she manages to get near enough.

Sooyoung looks up from her phone and gives her a small smile. “Hi.”

“Having fun?” Jiwoo asks.

Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “Yes, the time of my life.” She motions to the space next to her.

Jiwoo gets it, and doesn’t even hesitate as she sits right beside the captain. “I hope we don’t end up watching another movie.” She makes a face. “We watched, like, three in a row earlier.”

Sooyoung sighs, and leans back into the couch. “I don’t want to play a game. I’m too tired.”

Jiwoo gives her a concerned look. “Maybe you can sneak off and nap?”

She snorts. “Jinsol would catch me and give me her moon eyes, and I’d end up back here anyways. My left shoulder’s been hurting.”

“Oh.” Jiwoo bites her lip. “Do you…I mean…” She used to give Jungeun massages back then, because Jungeun had always been a lifter in cheer, and her shoulders and arms had always ached. “I can give you a massage…if you want.”

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow at her, and Jiwoo realizes that in the context of their…agreement…the suggestion seemed dirtier than it really was. Jiwoo immediately shakes her head. “Not, _not_ in that way!” She exclaims.

Sooyoung just stifles a low chuckle at her sudden volatile reaction. “I get it, Jiwoo.” To Jiwoo’s surprise, the older girl turns her body so that her back is now to Jiwoo. “Go ahead.”

Jiwoo nervously looks at the other girls, and prays that they’re all still distracted, and much to her relief, they seem fairly preoccupied. Jungeun has made a new friend in Jinsol, which still worries Jiwoo—the flirty nature of the head cheerleader and her best friend’s penchant for pretty girls might still get _messy_. The two of them seem to be engaged in an interesting conversation, seemingly debating on what film to watch, while Yerim, Hyejoo, and Chaewon are sifting through board games and video games.

Jiwoo looks at Sooyoung’s back, and gently places her hand on her shoulders. As she starts to dig her fingers into Sooyoung’s skin, she feels the hair on the older girl’s neck rise up.

“Your hands are cold,” Sooyoung comments.

“Oh, sorry,” Jiwoo pulls her hands back.

“No, it’s fine. I like the massage.”

“Oh, uh, okay.”

Jiwoo returns to massaging Sooyoung’s neck, shoulders, and upper back, soothing the muscles, and trying to knead the knots. She must have hit a particularly sensitive spot near Sooyoung’s left shoulder, because the older girl lets out a contented airy moan, that makes Jiwoo’s movements stutter a bit. She shakes her head, and tells herself to _get it together_ , and continues in her ministrations.

“You’re good at this,” Sooyoung says, letting out another contented sigh.

“Th-thanks,” Jiwoo mumbles.

“Mm.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, and Jiwoo just continues to massage the older girl, while Sooyoung sighs now and again whenever Jiwoo hits a particular spot that she likes. It’s only when the other girls decide to play Tekken, and Jinsol bravely declares that she can beat anyone, that Jiwoo and Sooyoung get pulled out of their comfortable little bubble.

Sooyoung leans away from Jiwoo’s touch, and turns her body to face the other girls again, while Jiwoo pulls her hands back like she’d been burned. She clears her throat, and blushes, worried that she and Sooyoung might have seemed too intimate, but the older girl seems mostly unbothered, even throwing her a “thank you” and a gentle smile that reaches her eyes.

Jiwoo gives her a sheepish smile in return, her ears turning red.

//

“That’s literally _cheating_ ,” Hyejoo says, pointing an accusatory finger at Jinsol, who shamelessly shrugs.

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game,” Jinsol replies, sticking her tongue out.

“You can’t just spam!” Chaewon adds in an undignified tone.

“I still won,” Jinsol happily remarks, doing a little dance to rub it in.

Jiwoo finds herself laughing at their antics. “There’s nothing wrong with spamming.”

Hyejoo turns to look at Jiwoo with a sharp gaze. “But anyone can win if they spam!”

Jiwoo shrugs. “I mean…”

Jungeun laughs. “Jiwoo’s go to move is to use Eddy and press any and every button.”

“Ugh, rematch,” Hyejoo announces. “And _don’t_ use Eddy or Lee.”

Jinsol smirks. “ _Fine_. Hwarang it is.”

//

Jinsol spams the fuck out of Hwarang, but Hyejoo manages to win by a sliver of health left.

//

While the girls do rematch upon rematch, with Jungeun losing every round, Yerim happily spamming away, and Jinsol riling Chaewon and Hyejoo up, with Jiwoo occasionally stealing a win here and there, Jiwoo realizes that Sooyoung hasn’t participated at all during the whole time. At first, Jinsol had tried to get her to play, but Sooyoung had insisted that she was too tired.

Jiwoo glances at the older girl, and sees that she’s just watching all of them horse around with a soft look she rarely ever sees on the captain. Jiwoo slips away from the other girls the moment Jinsol and Jungeun start teaming up against Hyejoo and Chaewon, and Yerim starts chanting for them to fight. She makes her way to Sooyoung who’s now comfortably curled up on one of the couches.

Their eyes lock, and Sooyoung gives her a small smile.

“Hey,” she says to Jiwoo. “Tired of losing to my sister?”

Jiwoo makes a face. “I didn’t lose _that_ much.”

“I can count the amount of times you won on half a hand,” Sooyoung replies with a glint in her eyes. “Half a hand is less than five, Jiwoo.”

Jiwoo pouts. “It’s not my fault they’re all crazy competitive.” She sits next to Sooyoung, and curls up as well. “Aren’t you gonna play?”

Sooyoung shakes her head. “Still tired. Plus, I’d totally beat Hyejoo’s ass, and she’d challenge me to a rematch until she wins.”

“I find it hard to believe that you’re good at Tekken.”

The junior raises an eyebrow. “Really now?”

“Mm,” Jiwoo mumbles. “The universe has to be fair and make you bad at something. I say it’s at Tekken.”

“Out of all the things?”

“Yep,” Jiwoo says, popping the ‘p’. “You were cursed to never be good at it.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes at her antics. “You’re so weird.”

Jiwoo wiggles her eyebrows at her in response. She doesn’t know where her boldness is coming from, or when she started feeling more comfortable around Sooyoung, but she doesn’t question it. She likes this, she really does.

The two of them just sit in relative silence again, now and then commentating on the other girls playing video games, up until Yerim drags Jiwoo back up to play once more. Jiwoo makes a face at Sooyoung, and Sooyoung just gives her an encouraging smile.

“Go get ‘em,” the captain tiredly murmurs.

Jiwoo gives her a playful wink. “Don’t beat me up when I beat your sister.”

“ _Sure_.”

//

Jiwoo does not beat Hyejoo. Hyejoo and Chaewon win, while Jinsol and Yerim take second place, and Jiwoo scrapes at third. Jungeun wins none of the games, complaining that they should do something like Mario Kart instead, which sparks another round of competition between all of them.

At some point, near 11, Sooyoung gets up, stretches, and takes her leave. “Night, everyone,” she says, heading towards her room.

“Night, cap!” Yerim calls out to her.

“Night, Soo,” Chaewon and Hyejoo say.

Jungeun doesn’t say anything, not really that acquainted with Sooyoung, but she does mumble a, “Why don’t you join your girlfriend to bed?” to Jiwoo, which earns her a smack from her best friend.

Jinsol pouts at Sooyoung. “But you didn’t play anything.”

“But I did watch you lose a million times, which was enough,” Sooyoung replies, earning a laugh from the others.

She turns, and starts heading toward her room, and Jiwoo just pulls her phone out. She takes a deep breath, decides it’s nothing too deep or anything, and sends Sooyoung a goodnight message.

Sooyoung heart reacts the message, but doesn’t reply. Still, Jiwoo’s mood skyrockets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey :) what do we think? soo....ur soft is showing ALSO let's all enjoy the fluff before----- 
> 
> LOVE YOU GUYS <3 drop some kudos n comments, also i have some new stories that came out--if u like (G)-IDLE, ITZY, 2JIn, just check them out ! <3


	36. thirty six

Jiwoo is a bit better at Mario Kart and manages to beat out Jinsol and Yerim for second place, while Hyejoo and Chaewon remain at the number one spot. Jungeun still, sadly, remains winless, and when the night turns into morning—it already being 1 am—they all collectively decide to go to bed. Jiwoo can’t help but feel a little jealous that Jinsol gets to sneak into Sooyoung’s room and probably sleep next to the captain, but she brushes it off. It’s nothing, and it really shouldn’t be bothering her at all.

Sooyoung and Jinsol were just friends—have been friends since they were in middle school—there was nothing too intimate about them sleeping next to each other. They probably did it all the time, they’d done it during the cheer sleepover.

_But you and Sooyoung weren’t making out all the time then_ , a small voice in the back of Jiwoo’s head says, _and how do you know they’re not just like you and Sooyoung?_ She shakes her head and tries to get rid of the thoughts. Even if Sooyoung and Jinsol had a _special_ friendship similar to Jiwoo’s and the captain’s, that wasn’t any of her business. Sooyoung was free to do whatever she wanted.

She doesn’t even know why she’s thinking about it in the first place.

She sighs as she settles down next to Jungeun, and cuddles into her best friend. Jungeun is already half-asleep, but maybe some part of her can sense Jiwoo’s distress, because she easily throws a comforting arm around Jiwoo and pulls her in closer.

Jiwoo closes her eyes and tries not to dream about blondes and green apples mixing together.

//

Yerim leaves before they have breakfast. She takes quick bath, kisses them all on the cheek, and runs toward the driveway where her father is waiting. Jiwoo had a somewhat restless sleep, so she groggily takes a shower, not even sure if she was fully awake during the whole thing.

Once they’re all bathed and more or less ready, Hyejoo tells them breakfast is already probably ready. It’s only when they go downstairs to eat breakfast, minus Sooyoung and Jinsol, who had apparently already eaten breakfast and weren’t in the house anymore (much to Jiwoo’s disappointment), does it really dawn on Jiwoo that she’s never _met_ nor seen Hyejoo and Sooyoung’s parents.

As they are served food, she briefly wonders if she should ask Hyejoo about it, but Hyejoo’s eyes are still half open, and she’s stabbing her food like it somehow offends her, and Jiwoo remembers she’s not a morning person, so the freshman decides against it. Maybe, she’ll hear more about it later on, or maybe she can ask Yerim.

Hyejoo tells Jungeun and Jiwoo that they can leave whenever they want to, and Jungeun and Jiwoo decide it’s best to leave before lunch, while Jiwoo learns that Chaewon was sleeping over _again_.

“She basically lives here,” Hyejoo easily comments, sipping her coffee, while Chaewon beams at them.

“If your best friend’s loaded, might as well, right?” Chaewon says with a playful smile.

Jungeun turns to Jiwoo and sighs. “I wish you were a billionaire too. This could be us, Jiwoo. This could be _us_.”

Jiwoo rolls her eyes and takes a bite of her waffle. “Shut up, before I replace you.”

//

Practice on Monday is charged with a different type of energy. It probably has something to do with the upcoming SAK competition, or maybe it has something to do with the older girls acting strange, but the atmosphere feels heavy and charged with electricity.

Jiwoo can’t catch a break or a single breath. Sooyoung and Heejin run them all dry, with Coach Hyoyeon back from a family emergency to finally supervise the team. If they thought Sooyoung was merciless, Hyoyeon was _vicious_. She was ruthless in calling out every minuscule mistake, every missed half-step, every unsynchronised formation, even if it was by a centimetre off. In all honesty, Jiwoo was pretty sure she couldn’t even see the mistakes Hyoyeon was pointing out.

Practice runs longer than the usual three hour period—stretching all the way to 8pm in the evening. Once Hyoyeon is mildly satisfied with their performance, she blows the whistle signalling the end of practice, and almost half of the team collapses on the mats to take a breather. Even Sooyoung, Heejin, Hyunjin, and Jinsol are sweaty and worn out.

Hyoyeon gathers them together, and calls off every improvement they should be making, as well as makes them watch some of the videos she took during practice. She points out Jiwoo’s lifts, Hyejoo’s lines, Ryujin’s under dancing, Yeji’s _over_ dancing, Tzuyu’s missteps, _everything_ —even their expressions. Nothing escapes her sharp eyes, and only Sooyoung and Heejin get out unscathed from her comments. It’s ruthless, but it isn’t anything malicious, just extremely high standards and bluntness. When Hyoyeon’s done talking to them, she finally dismisses them, and Jiwoo all but wobbles to the locker room.

No one really talks in the locker room. For once, it isn’t filled with stories, little gossip, or jokes. It’s almost dead silent, except for the sounds of the water from the showers, and the sighs and groans they all let out.

Jiwoo honestly doesn’t know how she’ll make it though Wednesday practice, and the SAK competition on Friday. She honestly feels like she won’t be able to move a single muscle until next week.

//

Sooyoung doesn’t reach out to Jiwoo until the next day during morning classes. Jiwoo’s by her locker, has a five minute break before her next class, when Sooyoung exits one of the classrooms. The captain obviously hadn’t expected to see her, as she gives Jiwoo an awkward smile after the smaller girl beams and waves at her, but she does walk over to where the younger girl is.

“Hi!” Jiwoo exclaims, still smiling brightly at her. She’s been feeling more comfortable around the older girl ever since the weekend. Things between them had been relatively friendly the past few days, with Jiwoo greeting her at lunch on Monday, and with Sooyoung even telling her good job after cheer yesterday, just before the captain drove off with Hyejoo.

Sooyoung simply gives her the same small smile as she stands next to Jiwoo. “Are you free after school today?”

Jiwoo is, she thinks that even if she wasn’t, she would have cancelled those plans. She shakes her head. “Why? What’s up?”

“I was hoping you’d want to come over,” Sooyoung easily tells her, voice a little low. “You know, to my house.”

“Uh…” Jiwoo’s pretty sure she knew how to speak just five seconds ago. “Um, I’m not really allowed to sleep over on weekdays.”

“Not to sleepover, but you know…” Sooyoung trails off. “I can drive you back home afterwards.”

“ _Oh_.”

“Yeah. I’m tired of the car shit, Jiwoo.”

“Right.”

“My bed’s pretty comfortable.”

“ _Right_.”

Jiwoo’s face has never been redder. She clears her throat, and tries to meet Sooyoung’s sharp gaze. “Uh, won’t Hyejoo find it…weird or whatever? If I go back with you guys?”

Sooyoung waves her off. “She’s sleeping over at Chae’s.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so?”

Sooyoung’s gaze is expectant, her eyebrow quirked, and honestly Jiwoo doesn’t think she’d ever really say no to a face like that. She nods, afraid her mouth won’t work, and she’ll end up saying something awkward.

“Okay. Just text me when you’re dismissed. I’m free after 3,” the older girl tells her.

Jiwoo just nods again. Sooyoung gives her a small smile. “See you.”

This time, Jiwoo manages to smile back. “Yeah, you too.”

Sooyoung walks away, and Jiwoo’s eyes follow her until the bell rings, and she has to run toward her next class to avoid being late.

//

Lunch featured an absence of Yerim and Hyejoo, who apparently were doing something for the cheer team Heejin had asked them to do. Lunch also featured an aggressively moody Chaewon, who barely spoke throughout the whole ordeal, with Yeojin, Jungeun, and Jiwoo trying to ease the tension in the air.

“They’re taking so long,” Chaewon mutters into her meal, not really eating it, just staring at it as if willing it to catch on fire.

“They left, like, _fifteen_ minutes ago,” Jungeun replies to her, not scared by Chaewon’s increasingly moody behaviour.

“What are they even doing?” Yeojin asks, curious and not really up to date with cheer things.

“They’re just getting some of the props from storage,” Jiwoo answers as Chaewon ignores the question and continues having a staring contest with her pizza. “We have our first competition this Friday.”

“Oh, yeah!” Yeojin smiles at her. “Yerim told me. Good luck.”

“You watching?” Jungeun asks her.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Nice. Wanna ride with me?” Jungeun offers.

Yeojin nods her head. “Yeah, sure. I was looking for a ride anyways.” She pouts. “I asked Yerim if I could tag along with her, but she said the cheer team was going by bus.”

Jiwoo gives her an apologetic smile. “Yeah, we do. I asked if I could bring Jungeun along, but Heejin told me that by tradition we weren’t allowed to have non-cheer members ride the bus.”

“You nervous? Yerim doesn’t seem all that nervous,” Yeojin comments.

Jiwoo shrugs. “A little, but we’ve been training _so_ hard from the start. I think we got a big shot winning.”

“I’m gonna wear a shirt with Jiwoo’s face on it,” Jungeun casually mentions.

Jiwoo makes a face. “Don’t do that! That’s so embarrassing, dude.”

“It’s cute!” Jungeun insists, but her evil smile says otherwise. “I’ll be at the front row, so _everyone_ on the field can see it.”

Jiwoo thinks about the other cheer members seeing it, thinks about Yuna and Ryujin’s mischievous smiles, about Yeri and Joy never dropping it, about Jinsol possibly taking photos and documenting it. “Come _on_.”

“You won’t convince me not to do it, sorry bro. Love you.”

“I _really_ need to put up posters for a new best friend.”

“Can’t wait to sign up,” Yerim announces, casually sliding into the seat next to Yerim.

Hyejoo also arrives, seating herself next to Chaewon, who finally looks up from her pizza and gives the other girl a look Jiwoo can’t decipher. Hyejoo just shrugs, and takes Chaewon’s hand holding it.

“Excuse me?” Yeojin asks, feigning offence. “You can’t be Jiwoo’s best friend. What about me?”

Yerim pats her head. “Sorry. She’s less annoying.”

Jungeun snorts. “What? Jiwoo’s my _most_ annoying friend.”

“I’m your _only_ friend,” Jiwoo shoots back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi..........so.......sooyoung wants jiwoo and her to do shit in her room B) 
> 
> missed u all as always, missed all ur comments :(( pls let me know what u think and what u enjoyed in this chapter !!! ive updated my 2jin story so if u want check that out, as well as ive written for ITZY and (G)-idle recently
> 
> i also have a HYEWON one shot that came out <3 
> 
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont hesitate to drop down some REQUESTS you have for ships from (G)-idle or ITZY, as i wanna write more for them <3 i also write for RV and TWICE <3 love u all


	37. thirty seven

The rest of Jiwoo’s day passes by in a blur—at some point after lunch, she and Sooyoung met eyes across the cafeteria, and the older girl gave her a smile, which definitely made Jiwoo’s day as she eagerly waved back and returned the smile by tenfold. As her class comes to an end, Jiwoo finds herself nervously and excitedly texting Sooyoung.

_Hey! :) My class is about to end in a bit. What time are you free?_

**oh you ended earlier than me, i’m still free at around 3**

_oh no problem, it’s just 30 mins, i can wait_

**are you sure**

_yeah! :) i’ll be at the library_

_see you!!!!_

**see you**

The last few minutes of class don’t really come fast enough, and when the bell finally rings, Jiwoo books it faster than any of her classmates, high of the excitement and nervousness that’s been gnawing at her ever since Sooyoung had talked to her earlier. She makes way towards the library, which, to be completely honest, has never really gone into, and is only really staying in for the air-conditioning.

Inside, she sees a handful of students using some of the library computers, and strewn about the different tables, with books or papers piled up. She walks around a bit, hoping to spot an empty table, but isn’t really lucky enough to find one, as all of the tables seemed to be occupied.

“Jiwoo,” someone whispers her name out, and Jiwoo turns and looks around for the person responsible for calling her when she sees Heejin and Hyunjin seated at one of the corner tables.

Heejin waves her over with her Heejin-esque smile is what Jiwoo’s come to call the half-smirk half-grin, while Hyunjin simply blinks owlishly at her and tilts her head to the side as Jiwoo approaches them.

“Hi!” Jiwoo greets them, smiling.

“Looking for someone?” Heejin asks her.

Jiwoo shakes her head. “Just looking for a place to sit.”

Hyunjin motions to one of the vacant seats by their table. “You can sit with us if you want.”

“Oh, uh, sure. Thanks!” Jiwoo sits down, and places her bag on the table. “So, studying?”

Heejin nods and sighs. “Yeah, Hyunjin has a math test coming up, and let’s just say…”

“I hate math and it hates me right back,” Hyunjin cuts in.

It’s the first time Jiwoo has ever heard her make a joke, and it brings a smile on her lips. “Oh, yeah. Good luck with that.”

“She’s gonna need it,” Heejin mutters under her breath.

Hyunjin pinches her side, and Heejin yelps, immediately covering her mouth once the other patrons of the library look at them.

“If my perfect white skin bruises—“ Heejin starts.

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll skin me alive.” Hyunjin smirks at her. “As if.”

Heejin ignores her and faces Jiwoo instead. “So—test coming up soon, or?”

That’s when Jiwoo remembers that she’s in the library to wait for Sooyoung, and that she can’t possibly tell the other two girls. She’s not even sure if Sooyoung’s ever told them anything. She awkwardly clears her throat. “Uh, not really. Just enjoying the AC.”

Heejin nods. “Yeah, I swear to fucking God they need to fix the AC in the lounge.”

Before Jiwoo can reply, Hyunjin suddenly cuts in, pointing out something on her notebook. “Is this right, Heejinnie?”

Heejin immediately looks over it, and her eyebrows furrow. “Aeongie, you can’t multiply these two yet, you have to carry this over first.”

“Ugh, okay.” Hyunjin hunches over the notebook again, and starts working on it.

“Is SAK your first competitive cheer competition?” Heejin asks Jiwoo.

“In Seoul, yeah.” Jiwoo bites her lip. “I used to do competitive cheer back home, but it was a small school in a small town. We never made it past the smaller contests, and never really went past the local scene.”

Heejin nods her head and pats Jiwoo’s hand on the table. “You’re gonna have fun then. Especially once we make it past nationals—the contests abroad are _really_ good, and BBC funds everything, so.”

“As long as we keep on _winning_ , they’ll fund everything,” Hyunjin mutters, still focused on her work.

Heejin makes a face. “Yeah, that. The school board’s a bitch to deal with honestly. We’re lucky Soo’s our captain. She does’t crack under them.”

“Oh,” is all Jiwoo replies, not really sure of what to do with the information.

“Anyways,” Heejin says, waving a hand and casually sliding into another topic, “How did your talk with Soo go?”

Jiwoo’s eyes widen and she half-chokes on nothing but air. “What?”

“Your talk?” Heejin raises an eyebrow at her. “Remember, like, a few weeks ago or a month ago, you, like, asked me for her sched?”

“Oh, _yeah_ ,” Jiwoo answers, relieved, but still wary. With Heejin, you could never really tell what she knew or didn’t. “That. Uh, it went well. We talked stuff out.”

“That’s good.”

“Yep.”

“She’s a good person,” Heejin suddenly states, her expression indecipherable.

Jiwoo nods—her opinion of Sooyoung has always been high, marred only by a few insensitive incidents, but as of late, the captain’s been a sort-of-friend honestly. “Yeah, I know she is.”

“Good.”

“Did—“ Jiwoo pauses, and then starts again. “Did she, uh, tell you anything?”

“She tells me a lot of things.”

“I mean—like, you know—about our talk…”

“Ah.” Heejin shrugs. “Well,” her expression turns a little playful, and it makes Jiwoo squirm a little. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Hyunjin finally looks up from her notebook, eyes Jiwoo, and then promptly elbows Heejin.

“ _Ouch_!” Heejin exclaims. “What the—“

“—don’t be a bitch, and just tell her the truth,” Hyunjin blankly says, before turning to face Jiwoo. “Soo told her some stuff, but made Heejinnie promise not to tell anyone. She’s just being cryptic cause she likes her stupid mind games.”

Heejin rolls her eyes. “You _always_ ruin the fun.”

“She’s a _baby_ ,” Hyunjin morosely points out, and before Jiwoo can protest, Heejin’s already giving a sly remark.

Heejin scoffs. “Yeah, tell that to _Soo_.”

//

Heejin promptly drops the topic after seemingly growing bored with interrogating Jiwoo and making her squirm a bit, instead getting lost in her and Hyunjin’s own world. They alternated between talking about math, a few cheer topics, and then teasing each other, which made Jiwoo’s head spin as she quietly observed them, now and then speaking up whenever Heejin addressed her about something.

**hey, i’m outside the library**

The text from Sooyoung comes as both a relief, and also a cause for her heart rate to start picking up.

_oh, okay i’ll head out! :)_

“Hey,” Jiwoo speaks up, smiling at the two older girls. She stands up, and slings her bag over her shoulder. “Thanks for letting me sit with you guys, and, you know, keeping me company.”

“No problem,” Hyunjin tells her, giving her a little smile, before her expression turns neutral almost in the same second.

“See you around, Jiwoo,” is all Heejin says, giving her a knowing look.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow guys,” Jiwoo replies, turning around and exiting the library. Her palms are cold, and her face is burning once she spots Sooyoung casually leaning against the wall, typing something on her phone. Jiwoo clears her throat. “Hey.”

The older girl looks up from her phone and nods at her. “Hey. I hope the wait wasn’t too bad.”

“It wasn’t!” Jiwoo assures her. “Heejin and Hyunjin kept me company inside, so.”

Sooyoung quirks an eyebrow up. “Oh. How was it?”

“It was…interesting? Nice, I guess. They were nice. Mostly.”

Sooyoung snorts. “Did Heejin interrogate you?”

Jiwoo blushes. “A little.”

“Of _course_ , she did.” Sooyoung pushes herself off the wall, and motions for them both to start walking. As they walk side by side, Jiwoo finds herself shrinking a little towards the captain as everyone in the hallway turns to watch Sooyoung as they both breeze past the other students. “What’d she ask you?”

“Uh, not much. Just friendly things,” Jiwoo replies, but then she pauses for a bit, before continuing. “And…she asked about our talk.”

Sooyoung’s tone remains neutral, but her Jiwoo notices her eye twitch a little. “What did she ask you?”

“Just how it went. I didn’t really know what to tell her, so I just, didn’t really answer.”

“I see.”

“Hyunjin said you told her some things, but, uh, made Heejin promise not to tell anyone, so. Which, she didn’t. She didn’t tell me anything.”

“That’s good.”

Jiwoo wants to ask Sooyoung how much Heejin, and by default, Hyunjin knew. She wouldn’t be lying if she was also curious about _what_ Sooyoung had told Heejin and swore to keep a secret. However, she doesn’t ask. She doesn’t really want to overstep, nor does she really want to ruin the mood. Sooyoung was set off by the strangest things at the weirdest times, and Jiwoo didn’t want to set her off. She wanted to, like, kind off get laid at the end of the day. The secrets could wait another day.

They reach Sooyoung’s car, and the older girl doesn’t hesitate to open Jiwoo’s door for her. “Thanks,” the freshman says, getting in.

Once Sooyoung has gracefully slid into the driver’s seat, and started the car, she’s already motioning towards the stereo, and Jiwoo knows what it means. “Do you want me to play a specific song, or?”

The captain shrugs. “Whatever’s fine.”

Jiwoo nods, and then plays an album by Kehlani, and let the smooth music create a comfortable atmosphere inside the car. Being inside Sooyoung’s car was honestly really comfortable for her now. She’d been driven by the older girl so much that she no longer felt suffocated being in such a confined space with Sooyoung.

She notices how quiet Sooyoung is, and wonders if she should break the silence. As Kehlani’s third song starts to play, Jiwoo decides to do just that.

“So, how were your classes?”

Sooyoung just hums in response. “Okay.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

The conversation sort of dies there, only resurrected for a bit when they finish Kehlani’s album, and Jiwoo asks her if she’s nervous about SAK.

Sooyoung shakes her head. “We’re going to win. We’ve never lost, and we won’t start now.” She faces Jiwoo when they reach a stoplight. “I’ll _literally_ eat myself alive if we lose SAK.”

Jiwoo doesn’t really know if Sooyoung’s kidding or not, until the captain breaks into an uncharacteristically large smile. “Ugh, I thought you were being serious,” Jiwoo mutters under her breath. “Like, I wondered if you were experiencing a stroke or whatever.”

Sooyoung reaches over and pats her head. “Was just a joke, relax.”

“Well, _sorry_ ,” Jiwoo huffs. “And I _can’t_ believe Ha Sooyoung just told _me_ to _relax_.”

“That’s the last thing you should have a hard time believing, Jiwoo.” Sooyoung flashes her a smirk. “I mean, we’re going to my house to fuck around. You’re welcome, by the way.”

The cockiness and playfulness reminds Jiwoo of how Sooyoung talked with Joohyun. It made her smile, realising that maybe Sooyoung was feeling more comfortable around her these days. They weren’t really _friends_ -friends, but they were maybe becoming that.

Jiwoo’s too flustered to really reply to Sooyoung’s unexpected banter, so she sort of just blushes and grows quiet, while Sooyoung drives with this _really_ pleased smile on her lips. If she didn’t look so pretty smiling, and if it wasn’t so rare for Jiwoo to see her smiling, the younger girl would have complained.

After that, they drive in relative silence until they reach Sooyoung’s house. As they enter the drive way, and Sooyoung drops Jiwoo off by the front door, saying she’ll park the car in the garage, Jiwoo wonders if this time she’ll actually _meet_ Sooyoung and Hyejoo’s parents. As far as Sooyoung’s told her, _her_ mother was in the states, but she didn’t know where her father was, or Hyejoo’s mom or dad were. They were never there at the sleepovers, and the two step-sisters never spoke about their parents’ whereabouts aside from that one time Sooyoung said she missed her mom.

There’s so much more to Sooyoung, Jiwoo realises, that she really hasn’t figured out—her eating habits, the whole cheer debacle, her parents, her love for hip-hop that she left behind—and she wonders if she’ll ever get a chance to know all about that. If Sooyoung and her will actually be _friends-_ friends.

Sooyoung is the one that pulls her out of her reprieve, when the older girl places a hand on Jiwoo’s lower back, and says, “Are you trying to burn a hole through my front door?”

Jiwoo jumps at the sudden contact, and the feel of Sooyoung’s hand on her bare skin. Wearing a crop-top today? A bad idea. She immediately turns sheepish. “Sorry. Was just thinking.”

Sooyoung runs her thumb through Jiwoo’s skin, and the hair on the back of Jiwoo’s neck rises. “Let’s go inside,” is all she replies, unlocking the door, and guiding both Jiwoo and herself inside the house.

Sooyoung doesn’t let go of Jiwoo’s lower back the whole time they walk up the stairs and through the long hallways. Even when they reach the captain’s room, she keeps her hand firmly in place, her thumb making circles into Jiwoo’s skin. Jiwoo feels herself burning up, and her heart thud painfully against her chest.

She wonders, briefly, if she’ll ever get a chance to breathe around Sooyoung—if she’ll ever stop feeling like her breath is always being stolen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [IMPORTANT] Hey guys! So, I saw your requests and compiled them. I'm now currently working on a YVESOUL story, a Ryujin/Chaeryeong one, a SaiDa one, and a SEULRENE one, and a SOOSHU one. 
> 
> If you guys can check out my other fics, that'd be great-- but keep an eye out for my other upcoming fics. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter, I'd really love to know your thoughts as always! 
> 
> And feel free to request other ships from G-idle, ITZY, TWICE, RV, BLACKPINK and LOONA from me. 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments always help me feel encouraged to update faster <3 thanks a bunch!


	38. quick update

Hey guys, sorry not an update. My aunt, who's a doctor, contracted Covid for a second time now. It's a stronger strain and she's now incubated and such. I'm taking time to be with my family and to help find plasma donors for her. I will still update this story, as it serves as an escape for me, and I hate unfinished stories, but I just ask for understanding during this very difficult time. Expect an update sometime around next week, and I promise to try and make it a good one. Please wish my aunt well, and I'm truly hoping she pulls through, because she's done so much for people before and during the pandemic. Frontliners are really important, and I hope you all stay safe!


	39. thirty eight [M-ish]

“I’m gonna change into something more comfortable, is that okay?” Sooyoung asks her, finally dropping her hand from where it was perched.

Jiwoo nods, blushing. “Yeah, yeah.” Sooyoung’s school outfits _were_ always nice, and designer, but she doubted they were ever comfortable.

Sooyoung grabs some clothes from her large closet, and then gives Jiwoo a small smile, before she leaves for the bathroom. Being in Sooyoung’s room only for the second time, as well as here by herself for the first time, allows Jiwoo to really take in her surroundings. It amazes her how the captain manages to be both clean and yet personable at the same time in regards to her room.

Jiwoo finds herself gravitating towards the pictured wall once more, and she can’t help but wonder what caused such a drastic change in Sooyoung both physically and emotionally. It also made her a bit sad that in her junior year, Sooyoung had no pictures at all. Jiwoo wonders if it’s connected to the fact that it was Haseul who liked taking pictures, and if it hurt Sooyoung for some reason to think about adding to the photo wall if Haseul wasn’t around anymore.

The captain doesn’t take long to dress up, however, so Jiwoo doesn’t really get to look around much, which she wasn’t planning to do anyways. This is still Sooyoung’s room after all, and Jiwoo wants to respect her privacy.

“Hey,” the older girl says, entering the room. She’s wearing a white tank top and girl boxer shorts that expose her long legs. Jiwoo’s mouth goes dry when she realises the older girl isn’t wearing a bra.

“Hi,” is all Jiwoo really replies, trying to keep her eyes on Sooyoung’s face and not anywhere else.

Sooyoung walks towards her, and something in her gaze shifts; her neutral expression turns into something more predatory, and it makes Jiwoo’s heart beat faster than she thought could ever be possible. Sooyoung only stops when she’s right in front of Jiwoo. Her eyes drop towards Jiwoo’s lips, before she meets Jiwoo’s eyes again.

“I really want to kiss you,” the captain admits, wrapping an arm around Jiwoo’s waist, and pulling her in. “Can I?”

“Mm,” Jiwoo says, nodding her head, already leaning into Sooyoung’s embrace.

The older girl doesn’t hesitate to press her lips against Jiwoo’s, placing her other hand on Jiwoo’s waist. The kiss is no longer shy, their lips moving into a familiar rhythm that Jiwoo has learned to dance to. Sooyoung, as always, gets more aggressive as it goes on, the kisses turning open-mouthed, their teeth clashing, and when Jiwoo softly moans _oh_ into the older girl’s mouth, the captain wastes no time in inserting her tongue into Jiwoo’s mouth.

The younger girl can’t help but press herself against the other girl. She wants more, she _needs_ more. Every part of Sooyoung’s bare skin that touches her burns in the best way possible. As their tongues move in a familiar pattern, Sooyoung’s hand on her waist starts to travel lower, until she reaches Jiwoo’s ass, and she squeezes it.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jiwoo says, breaking away from the kiss. Sooyoung doesn’t give her a moment’s rest, as the older girl latches on to the spot beneath her ear, and starts to harshly bite and suck. “ _Sooyoung_.”

She doesn’t even realise the captain’s hands have gone under her shirt until she feels a cold hand rubbing the place just beneath her breasts. “More,” Jiwoo says, unable to speak. “More, _please_.”

“Bed,” is all Sooyoung replies. “Bed, now.” She kisses Jiwoo again, and then, without breaking the kiss, quickly manoeuvres them towards her bed, where she pushes Jiwoo down with her body.

Jiwoo has never been underneath someone _like this_. She’s never had someone pressed up against her as they lay on the bed, never had someone lodge their knee in between her legs, touching her core, and making all the blood rush into her head. She gasps into Sooyoung’s mouth, and the older girl bites down on her lip, pulling on it. It’s a mixture of both pain and pleasure for Jiwoo, who’s hands find purchase on Sooyoung’s hips on their own.

Sooyoung sits up all of a sudden, still straddling Jiwoo, and without another word, takes off her shirt throwing it on the ground. Jiwoo licks her lips as she stares at her captain’s breasts. It’s her first time seeing anyone shirtless like this, and definitely her first time in real life ever seeing someone else’s boobs besides her own—not counting Jungeun who was basically family to her.

“Your shirt,” Sooyoung tells her, voice low and husky.

Jiwoo understands immediately, and even though her mind feels like it’s in a fog, she sits up too, and hurriedly takes her own crop top off, discarding it on the floor as well. Sooyoung trails her hands up from Jiwoo’s toned stomach, to the side of her breasts, and then she reaches over to the back and unclasps Jiwoo’s bra, simply pulling it off.

“I—“ Jiwoo starts, shy all of a sudden. “Um.” She brings her hands up and covers her chest. She’s never been big in that area; no matter how much she ate, she’d always been a skinny girl with lanky limbs. “Sorry,” she says, but she doesn’t really know what she’s saying sorry for.

Sooyoung doesn’t say anything, but she does shake her head and smile down at Jiwoo. Without another word, she leans and kisses the younger girl—just as heated as before, but somehow softer. Their teeth don’t clash, and their tongues fall into a familiar aggressive rhythm. Sooyoung brings her hands up and wraps them around Jiwoo’s neck, while she presses her body against the younger girl. Jiwoo moans as her chest comes into contact with Sooyoung’s, and she finds herself automatically placing her hands on Sooyoung’s sides, raking her fingers softly from the sides of her stomach up to her the sides of her breast.

At some point, Sooyoung pulls back, and suddenly feeling a surge of bravery, Jiwoo dives in on the captain’s neck, connecting her lips to where the neck met the shoulder. Sooyoung lets out a low and husky moan, and Jiwoo uses this as permission to place her hands tentatively under the older girl’s breasts, rubbing the skin there.

“More,” Sooyoung groans, suddenly grinding down on Jiwoo’s lap. “Just,” she stops when Jiwoo suddenly nips at her skin, “fuck. Just touch me.”

Jiwoo, always obedient, always one to follow, does. She cups Sooyoung’s breasts, and promptly, experimentally, squeezes them. Her nipples automatically harden under Jiwoo’s palms, and the younger girl runs her thumbs through them, flicking back and forth in a quick but gentle fashion. Sooyoung rolls her hip a bit harder against Jiwoo’s and her hands tug at Jiwoo’s hair, making the younger girl pull her lips back from her neck. Jiwoo’s hands, however, remain on Sooyoung’s breasts, pulling at her nipples, and squeezing her breasts.

Once Jiwoo can see the captain’s face again, she sees that the older girl’s eyes are diluted and dark. Sooyoung pushes her down without a warning, and starts kissing _Jiwoo_ ’s neck instead, and _fuck_ , Jiwoo had forgotten just how _fucking good_ Sooyoung was at this whole thing. The captain places her hands on Jiwoo’s breasts and roughly squeezes them, and Jiwoo moans, high and airy, and _needy_. Sooyoung plays with her—nipping at her, licking the spot behind her ear, kissing her collarbone, all the while her hands squeeze at Jiwoo’s breasts, and after awhile, she finally squeezes Jiwoo’s nipples.

Jiwoo winces at the same time she moans out a, “ _Fuck_ , fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Sooyoung doesn’t give her a break, she doesn’t let her breathe. Her fingers start to pull at Jiwoo’s hard nipples, and her open mouth kisses start turning into more nipping and bites, and Jiwoo’s _never_ had a hickey, but she’s pretty sure her collarbone and neck area will be filled with them once this is over.

It’s when Sooyoung lodges a knee between Jiwoo’s legs once more, and presses against the younger girl’s core that Jiwoo finds herself becoming a mess. She’s moaning, and her hands are pulling at Sooyoung’s hair, and her hips are moving on their own accord, pressing up against Sooyoung’s knee, wanting more and not getting enough pressure.

“ _Please_ ,” she says, “please, _please_.”

Sooyoung pulls away from her neck and trails a line of kisses up to her ear. “What do you want, Jiwoo?” she asks. “Do you want,” her right hand lets go of Jiwoo’s breast and slides down to the waistband of her shorts. She rubs Jiwoo’s bare hipbone, fingers dipping under the material. “Me to touch,” she continues saying, just as her right hand unbuttons Jiwoo’s shorts, “you, here?”

Jiwoo feels overstimulated, she bites her lip and moans. _Yes_ , she thinks, _yes, fuck, please_.

“I need you to answer me,” Sooyoung whispers into her ear. Her left hand is still roughly tweaking Jiwoo’s nipple, while her right hand continues to rub Jiwoo’s hipbone. “Do you want me to touch you there?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Jiwoo replies, finally getting her voice to work again. “Yes, there. Right now, Sooyoung, _please_.”

“Okay,” Sooyoung says, and then she starts kissing the back of Jiwoo’s ear. “Okay, baby.” Her right hand tugs Jiwoo’s shorts down, and Jiwoo whimpers, bringing her hips up, and trying to help Sooyoung. “I’m going to make you feel good, okay?” The captain slides Jiwoo’s shorts off, “I’ll make you feel so good, baby.”

Jiwoo nods, her hips still grinding against Sooyoung’s knee.

The older girl brings her right hand down to Jiwoo’s inner thigh, and she starts rubbing the area there, fingers coming dangerously close to where Jiwoo wants her, and after a while, she finally presses two fingers against Jiwoo’s clothed core. Jiwoo’s hips jerk at the content, and she bites her lip to stop the embarrassing moan that threatens to escape her mouth.

_Fuck_ , she’s never been touched there. Ever. She’s only ever touched herself a couple of times, and it’s definitely _never_ felt this good.

Sooyoung rubs her center, and Jiwoo can feel how damp her underwear is against Sooyoung’s fingers. “Please,” she gasps out, unable to really articulate what she wants, but she thinks the older girl gets it, because Sooyoung kisses the back of her ear one more time before her fingers finally dip into Jiwoo’s underwear.

It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but Jiwoo’s definitely wet enough, and Sooyoung despite everything, is exceedingly gentle as she probes her fingers inside of Jiwoo. As Jiwoo writhes under her, gasping and stringing around incoherent sentences, Sooyoung is nothing short of attentive and experienced—she knows what she’s doing.

Jiwoo feels something rise in the pit of her stomach as she unceremoniously grinds against Sooyoung’s fingers, and she finds herself opening her eyes to look up at the older girl. Sooyoung’s eyes are heavy with something she can’t read, and half-lidded. She smiles down at Jiwoo. “Are you okay?” She asks, soft and muted.

Jiwoo nods. She’s _more_ than okay. “I—“ She starts, but doesn’t know how to explain how she’s feeling, doesn’t know how to tell the captain about the coil in her stomach, and how she feels like a wave is about to hit her.

But with the way Sooyoung’s fingers quicken, and the way she leans down to mumble, _it’s okay_ against Jiwoo’s neck, ghosting her lips over Jiwoo’s pulse point, the younger girl thinks that the captain gets her—gets what’s about to happen.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jiwoo pants as her hands find purchase on Sooyoung’s back, nails digging into the captain’s shoulder blades.

“You’re almost there, baby, come on,” Sooyoung whispers into her ear before pulling her head back, and taking Jiwoo’s lips into a searing kiss, tongue moving recklessly against the younger girl’s.

Sooyoung’s fingers find a particular spot inside Jiwoo, and her thumb swipes at just the right speed against her clit, and then suddenly, Jiwoo’s coming undone, pulling back from Sooyoung’s lips as she bites her own lip and tries not to shout.

Sooyoung moves her fingers slowly against Jiwoo’s stuttering hips, letting the younger girl ride out her first proper orgasm, and when Jiwoo’s done and spent, the captain pulls her fingers out.

Jiwoo breathes heavily, eyebrows scrunched as she opens her eyes and looks up at the older girl above her. “I,” she says, “Um, well, I don’t—“

Sooyoung laughs, high and airy, before planting a kiss on her forehead. “Good?”

“ _Yes_ ,” because _fuck_ it was. “Yes. A thousand times yes.”

“Good.” Sooyoung gets off of her and lies down next to her, propping herself up on one arm so she faces Jiwoo. “I’m glad, then.”

Jiwoo turns her face so she can meet Sooyoung’s gaze. She blushes. “Uh, should I return the—“

“No, it’s okay.” Sooyoung smiles at her. “Next time.”

“Next time,” Jiwoo echoes, and only then does it hit her that there’s going to be more of this. More of _this_ with _Sooyoung_. “Right. Next time.”

Sooyoung laughs again. “You’re such a great conversationalist after sex.”

Jiwoo blushes and hides her face behind her hands. “Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm more or less back! Updates will hopefully start coming out more regularly, but my situation's still bad. I appreciate all the comments :>
> 
> NOTE: I was going to write a more exhaustive sex scene, but I've never written one before, so i decided to steer clear of it for now. i promise i'll work on my craft and strive to be better. thanks for understanding!
> 
> genuinely missed all of you! as always, please let me know what you think so far :> stay safe everyone!


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